Last night, Donald Trumptold the remaining six victims on Celebrity Apprenticethat they all looked sick and tired. And, he’s right. I’m sick and tired, too. The marathon pace of the show is starting to visibly take its toll on the contestants. Or maybe the editing monkeys exaggerated everyone’s behavior. Whatever it was, after tonight’s elimination, there will only be one way to go, and that’s for everyone to turn on each other.
The challenge this week was to create a jingle for Good Sam, an emergency roadside assistance firm with a retro-esque mascot. What a shame that both our musically inclined “celebrities” were project managers last week. This week, Aubrey O’Day and Clay Aiken really could have shone, but instead Dayana Mendoza decided to PM, with Arsenio Hall managing Unanimous. Or, the reality, Aubrey took over the creative direction of the team while Arsenio’s true project management task was managing Aubrey.
On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, both teams had to run improvisational puppet shows. Product placement department was really asleep at the wheel this week, since there was no corporate sponsor constantly being complemented. Ivanka Trump could barely bring herself to say “the executives” in the boardroom.
Since all shows on television now air on Sunday night, I’ll remind you that Lou Ferrigno was fired last week for only giving half of his usual “110%.” Lisa and Dayana shuffle back into the boardroom, Clay Aiken makes a snarky comment, which Lisa immediately overreacted to. Lisa, the woman who makes her living making fun of others, can dish it but certainly can not take it.
On this week’s task, Lisa Lampanelli elects herself as project manager in an attempt to finally win something, and Clay is shuffled over to Forte. Nice work, producers! Paul Teutul decides to manage this task, which is kinda weird. Aubrey O’Day would have been a shoe-in. Her hair alone is practically its own puppet!
Someone must have had a talk with Aubrey about her dominating ways because she decides to take a step back and let Paul run the show. And, since this is a different universe,Arsenio Hall & Aubrey are cool with each other! See what happens after you call your teammate a “See you next Tuesday!” You become friends afterwards. Paul had an injury the day before they start preparing for the act, so he is basically useless. Both teams get a lot of training on this task, in both, actual improv and puppeteering. Teresa Giudice loves that the improv guys encourage not knowing what you’re talking about. Do I really have to write a joke here? You know what to do, commenters! Take this and run with it. You’ve been given a gift.
Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was so long and intense, I feel like I need therapy just to process all the emotions I now feel. At least the three hours finally made the show interesting.
In case you already forgot, Patricia Velasquez was the one to go last week for her failure with the branding at the Crystal Light event. Dayana Mendoza is sad to have her one ally leave. I loved that moment last week when Patricia told Dayana it was going to be okay in Spanish while they were both waiting to be called in with Donald.
At this point, Dayana is like this show’s Highlander. She refuses to die, no matter how badly Lisa Lampanelli wants her to go. Throughout this whole episode, Lisa is like a dog with a bone. She refuses to see any of Dayana’s positive qualities. It makes it so hard to root for Lisa when she just looks like a jealous hater.
Last night’s show featured two tasks: the first featured the teams making and selling celebrity guidebooks to New York, using a Toshiba tablet, or as I like to call it, not an iPad. The second task was for each team to create a 15 minute presentation and boxes on Walgreen’s new walking initiative.
We got new project managers for the first task: Teresa Giudice was project manager for the guidebook task and Dee Snider was task manager for the men’s team. Both of them were pretty hands-off. If there were any sources of drama for this episode, it once again came from Lisa and Aubrey. If Lisa is hard to root for due to her almost senseless rage towards Dayana, Aubrey became downright evil, especially during the second task when she butted heads against her new teammate Arsenio Hall.
But, back to the first task. Debbie Gibson was the sacrificed celebrity during the first task. Teresa’s one conflict as project manager was with Debbie, who rightly asked for direction on the women’s kiosk. At the boardroom, Teresa and Debbie got into it, with Teresa defending herself by saying that at this point, the team should know what to do with minimal direction. She has a point, but it did really seem like Teresa forgot they needed to design a kiosk to sell the guidebooks.
On the men’s team, it was sad to see Arsenio try to fund raise, but get ignored by his former celebrity friends. His friend and NBC pet Jay Leno promises to FedEx Arsenio a check. Both teams actually make it rain pretty hard with their fund-raising, Teresa has Juicy Joe come by the kiosk with donations from their friends. Does anyone think Melissa Gorga donated to Teresa’s efforts?
Anyway, in the boardroom, Debbie is fired and she’s visibly pissed off. The world’s most famous elevator attendant even smirks as Debbie storms off after she’s fired. The fact that Debbie was fired and Aubrey (who fundraised the least amount of money) was kept, feels really producer-driven to me. If the task was about who made the most money, then clearly Aubrey should have left, based purely on numbers. But, she and Dayana live to see another day.
Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was sponsored by Crystal Light, a drink I’m pretty sure is only purchased by dieting women. In fact, the first true reaction anyone had to the announcement of this week’s sponsor, was by Aubrey O’Day ,who gushed that the low-calorie drink helped her lose weight.
Apparently, Crystal Light is attempting to cash in on Bethenny Frankel’s lady drinker gravy train and has created a line of drinks inspired by cocktails. This week’s assignment for our celebrities was to each throw a fabulous launch party for two of the drinks: Peach Bellini and Pomtini. Immediately, I thought that Teresa Giudice was a natural choice for project manager. Not only has she thrown several huge parties on Real Housewives of New Jersey, but she actually has a line of (alcoholic) Bellini’s on the market.
Instead, Aubrey took the job for Forte. No one mentioned it on the show, but I really feel disappointed that Teresa didn’t step up on this task. Is her strategy simply just to coast? Clay Aiken talking heads that Aubrey is a natural for this task, because “Aubrey popped right out of her momma’s chotch and started grabbing on to the stripper pole.” Clay Aiken: hilarious! Who knew?
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This season of Celebrity Apprentice has been a letdown so far for fans of Teresa Giudice‘s particular flavor of rage. She was ostensibly cast for her inability to let things go and start fights, but on the last few episodes, she has been downright quiet. On last week’s episode Donald and Ivanka Trump both questioned Teresa about how different she was from her reputation, with Teresa insisting that this toned down her is the “real” version.
On a recent press call, Donald Trump praised Teresa, using his favorite compliment and saying “She’s a very quality person,” but expressed his surprise: “I mean, she’s more reserved if anything else, and I think it’s a lot different than when you see her on the other show.”
Ever the businessman, Donald went so far to say that she came on the show as an exercise in “rebranding.” This wouldn’t be entirely off the mark; Teresa has several irons on the fire for her lifestyle brand with multiple books and a new alcohol line. Being on a network show like Celebrity Apprentice is a way to introduce her many wares to folks who have never seen her, or her table flipping, before.
Donald revealed that “She’s a little bit of a surprise… I don’t mean a negative surprise, but it’s surprising to me that she’s not more volatile.” Since Danielle Staub or Melissa Gorga are nowhere near the board room, Teresa doesn’t have her usual triggers to provoke her into acting like a lunatic. The most interesting theory behind her personality change is that “she is a little bit intimidated by some of the other people,” Donald suggests.
One person Teresa is most definitely not intimidated by is fellow contestant and ’80s pop queen, Debbie Gibson, who told her last week she was not “owning it” at boardroom. On Teresa’s personal blog, she warns: “I just want you to know the history of me and Debbie because it’s not over yet. Stay tuned!”
The background behind Teresa and Debbie’s argument is juicy and was a real mistake to edit out of the show. Teresa writes:
“During the Ivanka window display task last week, they didn’t show it but it was my idea to use Ivanka’s sketches in the window to tell the story, and I think that was a pretty big contribution to us winning. They also didn’t show that Debbie and I had a huge fight about it when I heard she was trying to take credit for it.”
Okay, who fell asleep at the wheel and left this out? Show us more of this and less of Lou Ferrigno‘s whining. So, you can see why Teresa was especially upset to have Debbie accuse her of holding back and not contributing when this had already happened. The real question is: Why not bring it up at the boardroom in front of Donald? Teresa continues:
“So when you see us in the Boardroom this week, you know why I was mad at her already. As soon as she’s project manager, she wants to call me out for not giving as much? Is she serious? Do you see how much Mr. Trump talks about me? You know why? Because Donald Trump Jr. and Ivanka were there with us on all the tasks and saw who worked hard and reported it back to him. You’re not getting to see a lot of my input (yet…) but Mr. Trump knew. I just want you to know the history of me and Debbie because it’s not over yet. Stay tuned! (I might have to just change my name to Tiffany…)”
A new episode of Celebrity Apprentice airs tonight at 9 ET on NBC. A preview clip is below!
TELL US: DO YOU THINK TERESA IS FAKING HER PERSONALITY? IS SHE REBRANDING? DO YOU LIKE DEBBIE GIBSON?
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The two hours of product placement given to Ivanka Trump by Celebrity Apprentice last night totally worked because I actually googled Ivanka’s line. It’s basically a line of cute conservative clothes for career girls, “reasonably” priced or downright cheap if you have Ivanka’s budget, but not exactly accessible to those of us who have to shop the sale rack at Forever 21.
I can’t go any further on this recap without mentioning the most memorable thing that happened during the broadcast, which, unfortunately was not even on the show itself, but was the insanely long commercial for Cartier that aired during the first commercial break. If you haven’t seen it, watch it so you’ll have something to talk about at lunch with your co-workers, because judging from Twitter’s reaction, that’s all anyone remembers.
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