If you’re still watching Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky, the train wreck of a spin off that gave us six episodes to tide us over until Vanderpump Rules starts again, then you probably saw the escalation of Jax Taylor’s bad behavior from a mile away. This week, Jax takes that bad behavior to a whole new level of douchy-ness, resulting in him blatantly disrespecting girlfriend Brittany Cartwright, her family, AND her friends. No one is safe when Jax has had a few tequila shots and feeling homesick for L.A.
We start the episode with Jax actually claiming to be enjoying his farm chores as he gets up early with Mamaw to feed the chickens and the cows. Mamaw is so impressed that this “city boy” is enjoying throwing some chicken feed into a pen and heaps a chicken’s turd worth of praise on him about what a man this makes him. I guess Mamaw is hurting for company since her standards are so low but either way, Jax seems to do no wrong in her eyes.
The Vanderpump Rules spin off series with Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright has been tough on their relationship. With a show that’s centered around the couple, it’s inevitable that every single argument and offhand comment is going to make it into the episodes. Plus, they don’t have the 343 Vanderpump Rules cast members to hide behind.
Not only that, but there’s just no way that Jax insisting that Brittany has “lost her spark” so many times is not going to be featured. Jax had to answer a lot of tough questions from Andy Cohen when he appeared on Watch What Happens Live. Well, they weren’t exactly challenging questions to answer, but Andy definitely didn’t go easy on Jax.
Last night on Vanderpump Rules Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky, the show tries to answer the question that has plagued VPR since its conception: will Jax Taylorever grow up? That would be a big and resounding NO. Because you can’t fix a 37 year old man who has been slinging his own self-absorbed ego around L.A. since he arrived four nose jobs ago. Just like my title suggests, if you put lipstick on a pig it’s still a pig, even if said pig is Mamaw’s adorable new piglet, Bacon Bit. Just like you can’t make Jax do farm chores and expect him to suddenly be all wholesome.
Case in point: after many fishbowls of alcohol, Jax gets belligerent drunk at the bar with Brittany Cartwright and it causes a huge blowup between them. Not only does he try and start a fight with some locals and yells white trash at them, but he also repeately tells his own girlfriend to eff off and antagonizes her best friend. Thankfully, there was no chunky sweater to abandon in a parking lot while challenging someone else to a fist fight this time but clearly, Jax has not come very far since that moment years ago.
If you’re still watching with me, congrats! We just barely made it through another episode of Vanderpump Rules Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky. Tonight, we watched Jax Taylor sweat like a literal whore in church and fail at hunting coyotes with the good ole boys thanks to a probation requirement about not handling a firearm. Unfortunately, we still don’t know if poor Brittany Cartwright and her missing spark will ever be reunited and no matter how much she protests that it’s not missing to begin with, Jax is sticking with his story.
In an effort to make something, anything even remotely entertaining happen with this show, Brittany is taking Jax to church. As much as she doesn’t want to pressure him with religion, if they get married and have kids, she needs them to attend a Christian church. How’s that for pressure! Jax is wary about the whole thing but agrees to attend. He did grow up Catholic and attend youth groups and church camps, which we can all see obviously had a profound effect on his life. HA! Brittany is wasting her time but let’s just humor her for now.
On the latest installment of Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky, Jax Taylor is doing one hell of a tap dance to convince the family that he really does intend on moving forward in his relationship with Brittany Cartwright. Only one tiny little problem with that: no one’s buying it. Winchester might not have cell service or wifi, but they do have cable and looks like they have been watching Vanderpump Rules.
We resume with Don getting nowhere fast by talking to Jax about his intentions with Brittany. Jax is pushing the narrative that the “Brittany Spark” is gone, which he thinks is a little bit of a depression. She is sleeping late, eating a lot, dating a complete loser that’s not good for her, you know, the usual signs of losing your spark/mild depression. But Don isn’t impressed with this theory and when he accuses Jax of trying to get out of moving forward with his daughter, Jax couldn’t be more obvious about being caught in a lie. His eyes get big, he turns red, and he stumbles over his own reassurances that he has every intention of being with Brittany but darn it, he is a perfectionist and he guesses that holds him back sometimes.
Unfortunately, fans still have to wait a while for new episodes of Vanderpump Rules. Sure there’s the Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright spin-off to tide us over, but that’s not the same. Nothing beats having the whole crew together, turning up, offending each other, and still (somehow) remaining friends.
In the mean time, Tom Schwartz opened up a little bit about what to expect when the show returns. The restaurant with Lisa Vanderpump and Tom Sandoval is happening – slowly, but surely. He and Katie Maloney seem to be doing well in their first year of marriage and Tom is publicly discussing the possibility of expanding their family.
If you watched last week’s premiere of Vanderpump Rules Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky, you probably already have a good idea of what every episode is going to be about: humiliating City Boy Jax Taylor while simultaneously pressuring him to marry Southern Belle Brittany Cartwright. If this sort of combination falls flat for you, you’re definitely not alone. I’m not really sure where this mini-show is going, but like every other Vanderpump junkie, I’m along for the ride, even though I’m watching a show about two people who are rumored to have already broken up. What can I say, I live for a good reality TV are-they-aren’t-they-still-together-for-the-sake-of-PR love story!
We rejoin our couple at the Welcome Home Bonfire on Mamaw’s farm. Jax is desperately trying to get everyone off his tail about whether or not he’s going to make an honest woman out of Brittany, so he does what Jax does best: create a diversion through lying! He pulls Sherri and Mamaw aside to show them the ring he is having designed for Brittany and says it’s “in the works” then they will pop out some kids. Despite supposedly having watched Vanderpump Rules and knowing what kind of a lying opportunist Jax can be, Sherri is about clearly more gullible than a turkey being invited to Thanksgiving dinner because she falls for it hook, line, and sinker.
For those of you Vanderpumpers who are having withdrawal until the next season, Bravo has the perfect fix in Vanderpump Rules Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky. Try saying that after a few shots of bourbon. But between all the ATV riding, cow poop shoveling, and being sprayed with deer piss, Jax Taylor has a lot more to contend with than just Brittany Cartwright‘s frog leg –eating family grilling him about his marriage plans.
We start at SUR, hipster music blaring and lights dimmed, watching Brittany serve tables and Jax mix up some Pumptinis. I would be lying if I didn’t say that this was making me miss Vanderpump Rules even more. Lisa Vanderpump swans in, leather jacket clad and questioning if Jax and Brittany have their shifts covered for their vacation. OK, but can we not pretend they actually have to get their shifts covered for a whole Bravo production of their spin off? Like what would happen if Katie Maloney had a Pucker and Pout party or Tom Sandoval had garage band practice and no one could cover for them? I’m assuming we would still have a show. Anyway, I digress.When Brittany walks away, Lisa slyly asks Jax how he is going to manage to pull the wool over the family’s eyes for two whole weeks then makes a cock joke about chickens and we are off and running, folks!