It's Dr. Drewtime… I hope you stretched your eyeballs because they're about to be doing a lot of rolling. And if you're wearing false eyelashes because you want to look just like your favorite Teen Mom 2 star, I suggest you take them off for fear of injury during this reunion.
The set this year is really something – don't you love the giant TM2 letters with glittering lights. Things begin with all four girls on stage. Jenelle Evans has been taking hair tips from Chelsea Houska (but Megan is her terrible hairsome clone!) – same color red, same teased style, other than that she looks very pretty and natural. Dr. Drew asks Jenelle how Jace is. She answers, "Ummmm… who? Oh yeah… ummm… oh he hasn't been paying rent so yeah!"
Chelsea's eyelashes are a travesty. Mind you, this is her profession… Lord help South Dakota.
Last night was the season finale of Teen Mom 2. Aaaahhh… Jenelle Evans oh my, my, my. Man every single season this girl does something to make me think less of her. I mean just when I think she can't top getting arrested for heroin after marrying someone she barely knows, she goes and makes a baby with another lunatic she barely knows not 3 months after having an abortion.
For all of that, I felt a little bad for Jenelle last night – if only because it became more than abundantly clear that she is not right. Nathan Griffithis a sociopath. Something is seriously wrong with him. We will be seeing him as the subject of a Dateline NBC mystery where he has done something truly heinous.
And also, this recap is sponsored (kidding, not really) by the maternity lingerie photo of Kailyn Lowry and topless Javi Marroquin that is framed above their bed. At least Snuffy was smiling and that may be the only smiling photo of her I've ever seen!
So Mr. Perfect got his orange a$$ handed to him! Somewhere Barbara Evans is doing a victory dance.
Nathan Griffith landed himself a THIRD DUI last September and luckily for us Teen Mom 2 cameras recorded the entire thing. The grainy footage featured Nathan resisting arrest, getting tackled to the ground, and being tasered. Nathan was arrested and released on bond paid for by devoted girlfriend Jenelle Evans.
Yesterday morning Nathan was sentenced to 30 – 60 days incarceration by the Horry County Sheriff's Department for charges related to his DUI arrest.
The Sheriff's department lists Nathan's sentencing charges as: Resisting Arrest; Interference with Official in the Performance of Duty; Threatening an Official in Performance of Duty; Giving False Name and Address. DRIVING UNDER SUSPENSION, LICENSE SUSPENDED FOR DUI – 2ND OFFENSE DRIVING ON WRONG SIDE OF ROAD.
Last night on Teen Mom 2 MTV let us down massively with only grainy footage of Nathan Griffith's DUI. Nathan (and Jenelle Evans) claim that since he refused a breathalyzer Nathan wasn't actually drunk, or something.
Before we get into all of that, Chelsea Houska is trying to be more mature with Adam Lind. Chelsea has come a long way, and the only strides Adam has made is ditching that recedehawk, because he's still a COMPLETE jerk! At Aubree's pre-school pageant he drags new baby Paislee along and is snappish to Chelsea while they do crafts with Aubree.
Later in the car with Taylor (new baby mama with double-ee named spawn of Adam) he complains that Chelsea isn't going to get be in control of his relationship with Aubree much longer. Um… really, Dumee? Is this before or after you get in a felony car crash or ditch your daughter at your parents because you don't get your way.
On last night's episode of Teen Mom 2relationships changed, promises were made and marriages may have broken.
Jenelle Evans is on the pregnancy wagon again. After 16 seconds of dating, 14 seconds of them spent trying to get pregnant, she has finally conceived the spawn of Nathan Griffith: Instagram underwear model, timeshare hawker, and DUI accomplisher and now BIBLE reader. Nathan is dressed like Ned Flanders and staring listlessly at the Bible when Jenelle shoves a positive pregnancy test in his face. He labors over the screen for some time trying to figure out what it says before it dawns on him – he's gonna be a daddy. Again.
"Are you happy?" Jenelle monotones, expressionless. Nathan is overjoyed – he just has to get through the next nine months and 18 years of paychecks are his! He picks Jenelle up (barely) and spins her around, dollar signs flash in his eyes. To celebrate he dyes his hair platinum blonde.
As we previously reported, an arrest warrant was issued for Courtland after he stole jewelry from Katie McMillan in February. Then he pawned it using his ID. The law caught up with Courtland over the weekend.
Last night onTeen Mom 2, some girls celebrated happily wedded bliss (again) and other girls headed towards happily unwedded unbliss (again) and some girls cried all the way home from jail (again).
Let's start and end with a positive! To start, Chelsea Houska finally accomplished something other than dumpingAdam Lind. Which speaking of positives: he was NOT presents on last night's episode. Go, MTV! Anyway, Chelsea graduated with her 600 hour aesthetics certificate and is on her way to getting her very first job. "I know I had Aubree young, but I've still accomplished what I wanted," Chelsea says. Good for her.
Jenelle Evans has found true love, y'all, and she'll confront anyone who wants to try to rain on her parade with new beau Nathan Griffith. As you know, the Teen Mom 2 star is pregnant with a boy, and Nathan is the father…but he's not to be confused with Courtland Rogers, her husband who just got out of (or sent back to? I can't keep up!) jail. Healthy, healthy, healthy!
Apparently, Jenelle's army of Twitter followers tend to rile her up from time to time, most recently alleging that Nathan has been less than faithful during the reality star's pregnancy. I'll never believe it. He's the world's best boyfriend and father! You know who agrees with me? Jenelle. You know who is hilariously bringing back Jenelle's attorney Dustin Sullivan courtesy of her Instagram? Rihanna. It may not make sense in the context of this post, but it's the funniest thing I've seen in a while.