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Jenelle Evans

 
To be completely honest, I started this article about Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers yesterday afternoon. But when I heard about the school shooting in Newtown, CT, I had to walk away from it. 
 
I couldn't bring myself to poke fun at Jenelle's one-stop courthouse shopping. Or care about the most recent developments in her life, such as her failure to get a prenup before her quickie wedding. I just did. not. care. and I hated her for having a child she (seemingly) does not appreciate. I chose to watch the news coverage on CNN instead.
 
That said, I'm not ashamed to admit that I've always had a soft spot for Jenelle. Her story is truly the ONLY reason I watch Teen Mom 2. I get Jenelle's never-ending desire to feel loved, I think Barbara is (unintentionally) hilarious, and Jace is super cute.
 
Yes, Jenelle is currently a complete mess, but I feel as if she's the only star of Teen Mom 2 who has it in her (albeit way deep down) to change for the better. Before you call me nuts, let me explain. 
 
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Last night's Teen Mom 2 was thankfully less dramatic than normal.  It was a refreshing break from the normal yelling and sobbing.  Of course there were tears (after all Chelsea Houska is still on the show!), but it wasn't the normal Jenelle Evans drama.  Kailyn Lowry ended a relationship while Leah Messer started a new one.  Over all, it was a relatively low-key episode.

Jordan is still distrusting of Kailyn when it comes to her spending time with Jo.  While I can see his point with her, I don't think he needs to worry about Jo…he seems to be well over Kailyn.  The following day at school, Kailyn chats with a friend about their love triangle…and there's that flipping feather in her hair!  Her friend wants her to try being single for a while.  Kailyn hasn't been single since she was fifteen.  She basically admits that she's with Jordan for support.

Jenelle is trying to put her anger towards her mom aside so she can spend time with Jace.  His second birthday is coming up, but she can't plan a party because she's too busy lunching with friends and worrying about her parole violation.  I'm guessing she's probably smoking a bunch of weed as well.  Jenelle has decided that she's going to quit smoking and send her probation officer an apology letter in hopes of avoiding jail time.  Her friend Tori promises to quit smoking as well so Jenelle won't have to be drug-free all alone.  Sweet!

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Jenelle Evans is a human trainwreck of Lohan proportions that I really wish would fade into obscurity until she cleans up her act. And oh her poor son.

In the latest travail to plague the Teen Mom 2 star she married an ex-con in a quickie ceremony and may or may not be in the throes of a serious drug addiction. 

Jenelle married new husband Courtland Rogers the very same day he was charged with a felony for obtaining property by false pretenses. So just what did he do? It's really stupid… 

Courtland is accused of taking a gift card back to a store and attempting cash it in, but according to the store the gift card was never purchased so that raised a red flag,” a source tells RadarOnline. 

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Before I finish writing one story about Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans, 12 more crop up.  It's a never-ending battle to see how many words per minute I can type without spraining a pinky.  Or a middle finger. 

Let's start off first with the events of yesterday morning.  No, I don't mean the release of Ke$ha's new album, y'all!  I'm talking about the day that will now be known as the wedding anniversary of Jenelle Evans' first marriage.  Yesterday when Jenelle and Courtland secretly said their "I Do's", they first had to stop by different court room, where Courtland was charged with a felony! 

A Radar source shared, "Courtland Rogers was charged with a felony in North Carolina on Tuesday for obtaining property by false pretenses. Straight after that court hearing was finished Jenelle and Courtland got married at the magistrate's office."

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Some might say it's the end of an era.  I'd say that.  RIP camo hat.  I guess much like Leah Messer being replaced in Corey Simms' life of wedded bliss, his hat must also be replaced.  In this case, he has replaced both Leah and the hat with a more conservative, less redneck version…although if you look closely at both the new fiance and Leah and camo hat and new hat, they all are pretty interchangeable, right down to the bleached hair, fake nails, and super curved bill. 

Likewise, just how everything in Corey's world will always follow a simpler, flame-emblazoned truck story line, Jenelle Evans also likes to follow a script…and not one from the local pharmacy (that we know of, although I'm sure she wouldn't turn down any Rx painkillers).  It's a Teen Mom 2 post of stuff that won't surprise you in the least!

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Well that was FAST!  After like 12 minutes of dating a 14 day engagement, Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers got married this morning!  Coincidentally, Ke$ha dropped her new album today!  Oh the devotion Jenelle has for Ke$ha knows no bounds.

Jenelle's sister Ashleigh ran to the tabloids the minute she found out the news.  It's apparent that these two are still not on good terms. 

"My sister got married this morning, it was a shotgun courthouse wedding."  Um, not sure if Ashleigh really gets what the term "shotgun" means since Jenelle says she is definitely NOT pregnant.   Jenelle hasn't "confirmed" the wedding, but she did share on Twitter that she's not preggers again.  "NOOO I'm not and Courtland did not say anything about getting me pregnant or having kids anytime soon. Over my dead body if I would be that selfish to have a baby before getting Jace back."

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With each season and every episode, Teen Mom 2 just gets more and more depressing.  I honestly don't think that Leah Messer, Kailyn Lowry, or Chelsea Houska are getting any more mature…their kids are just getting older.  Notice I didn't even mention Jenelle Evans.  Seriously, what's the point anymore with that one? 

Leah is finally getting over the divorce despite the fact that she was once in love with Corey Simms…like the day before this scene was filmed.  If you can get over it in a day and a half, chances are it wasn't true love.  She's ready to focus on getting back into school for nursing. 

Jenelle's friend Tori bails her out of jail, and Jenelle is upset that her mother wouldn't do it.  I'm more upset that Tori does!  I think she begins to regret it when she learns that she'll be responsible for paying $10,000 if Jenelle is a no-show for court.  Given Jenelle's track record, Tori could have a very hefty fine on her hands!  Both girls lament about how horrible Barbara is for taking care of Jace not springing Jenelle from the clink.  Meanwhile, Chelsea is desperate to get out of the house.  She's totally stressed out about not studying for her GED and her relationship woes with Adam.  Now that he's no longer squatting for free at her apartment, he doesn't really want to talk to her.  Not shockingly, her friend isn't that sympathetic, but she does surprise Chelsea with tickets to Deirks Bentley (jealous!) for the night before a practice GED test.  This is what most would call a conundrum…but not Chelsea.  She like so used to totally cry to Deirks' songs when she was pregnant with Aubree and Adam would treat her like crap. 

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Every week I get a little more frustrated with these girls of Teen Mom 2.  MTV is paying them, and they are learning nothing except how to be more whiny and entitled.  I really think the network should incorporate some kind of weekly therapy session for Jenelle Evans, Chelsea Houska, Leah Messer, and Kailyn Lowry to make it a little more relevant and a little less rewarding immaturity and bad behavior.  Anyone agree?

Case in point, we begin with Chelsea trying to tame her peroxide weave while lamenting about taking her GED practice test in the following week.  She really needs to study, but she has way more important things to do…like plan Aubree's birthday party, attend freeloading Adam Lind's motocross race, and devise a plan to keep her dad from finding out that Adam is squatting on his dime.  Priorities, of course.  Of course, Chelsea's third priority didn't work out so well because she forgot her dad has a key to her house and decided to take a peek inside when he came to pick up Aubree.  She tries to act indignant, like what are you doing in my house?  I want him to retort with, um, it's actually my house considering I pay for it, but instead Randy promises her they will discuss the situation later.

Oh wait, Chelsea explains that she pays her own rent, so maybe I would be a tad upset if my dad busted in, but still.  She arrives at the race, and it's so pitiful to watch her try to kiss Adam and hold his hand while he totally brushes her off and then walks away.  Chelsea acts totally oblivious to his behavior. 

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