Reality Tea is ranking ALL the Housewives from every season and every city! Our list is broken down into three parts with Housewives ranked from worst to ‘best’ (or best of the worst, if you will). Below is Part 1.
What makes a superior species of Housewives? Is it class? Money? Fabulous plastic surgery and good shoes? Beautiful home? A revolving door of crazy that keeps us on our cheaply-clad toes? Is it a supportive husband? An in-home zoo of fabulous miniature fluff balls clad in their own designer wardrobe? Is it a witty zinger or indispensable advice? Is it their ability to rewrite history without irony? To crack open the egg of their emotional travails in front of cameras? Or is it their ability to deftly control the scenery while cracking a Chanel whip?
In honor of Halloween, last night’s finale of Real Housewives Of New Jersey was like a twisted fairy tale of modern evil, the moral being that sometimes the wrong witch gets pushed into an oven, while the other escapes on foot through the forest hoping the evil doesn’t catch up with her.
Siggy Flicker tried to reunify the group, but lunch didn’t even get served before the ladies were fleeing the coop in various states of undress. Only on Bravo do ‘ladies who lunch’ turn into ladies of the night who run Louboutin-less through a parking lot, stalking like zombies after the brainless one who got away. And over the railroad tracks to Jacqueline Laurita‘s asylum they go!
Last night was the pre-finale for Real Housewives Of New Jersey. Since Jacqueline Laurita had laryngitis, she let Milinia do all the talking for her. Finally because at least Milania’s outbursts make a lot more sense! A silent Jacq is still deadly though… thank be the powers of the smart phone put into dumb hands.
Oh that Milania, I don’t care – I love her. Teresa Giudice acknowledges that Milania is not adjusting well to Juicy being “away.” And why should she? On Juicy’s first day in the slammer, Joe,Melissa Gorga, and the kids come over with sprinkle cookies Chinese food to check in on Teresa and the girls. They find Milania mouthing off all kinds of projecting, and Teresa is in a tailspin.