Let’s be honest: Vanderpump Rules is the gift that keeps on giving. Don’t get me wrong, I love (almost) every single show on Bravo, but I don’t “like” them all equally. Some of them have been slacking with the recent seasons.
Vanderpump Rules has more going on in one episode than most Real Housewivesshows do in an entire season. I’m looking at you, Beverly Hills Housewives. The story lines just keep on coming. So of course, Tom Sandoval was asked about 98484838737 different topics during his appearance on Watch What Happens Livelast night. There was just so much to address from this season alone.
Here’s what I was doing instead of writing a Vanderpump Rules recap: researching Captain Picard cookie cutters on the internet. But honestly, that might not be so far off-base. Any Star Trek TNG fans out there? Well, you should be – it would be super great if Captain Picard could beam down and save this mess from itself, because NO ONE interesting this season. Except James Kennedy, but that’s beside the point.
I’m supposed to be all bent out of shape and emotionally invested because Jax Taylor finally manned up enough to dump Brittany Cartwright. She reacted by storming out of their apartment amid a stream of twang-laced obscenities (which sounds like what happens when you mix Tang with beer from an aluminum can) and Jax reacted by stress-eating himself a piece of greasy leftover pizza then strolling down the hall to Tom and Katie’s.
As a self-proclaimed reality TV connoisseur, I can’t help thinking that there are few thing more frustrating than a pivotal moment occurring away from the cameras. This means that we will (most likely) never have proof of what actually happened.
All it took for Jax to reach this inevitable conclusion was cheating with a friend, several screaming fights, a threatened moved to Florida for a fake job, a meltdown that nearly got him fired, meddling friends, a fake first date with a fake crush, the return to an abandoned identity, and one reiki instructor who fled to Africa! I mean would you stick around for the fall-out of that mess?
Here’s the thing though: everyone in this cast loves Brittany– who Jax cheated on with Faith Stowers– so it’s tough for the rest of the cast members to have sympathy for him given the bigger scandals in their relationship.