The virtual reunion is going well on Real Housewives of Atlanta. It will be interesting to see how things play out on Vanderpump Rules since there are 17,830 cast members, some of which are couples. So now there are a dozen little squares. Some of them have two people in them because of the couples on this show. Oh, boy. This sounds like such a logistical nightmare to film. Let’s just hope it’s enjoyable to watch.
In the trailer, Scheana Marie asks “Who’s gonna be the first one to cry?” Most likely, that’s Scheana herself. However, we do see Brittany Cartwright wailing, “This is one of the hardest times I had to go through in my f*cking life.” What is she even talking about? Is she talking about her wedding and pre-wedding events that took over the season? Aren’t those events supposed to be happy? If she’s shouting over her wedding, I swear…..
Kristen Doute also yells “My life is none of your business.” That is most likely about her ex [Brian] Carter. Especially since right after that we see Stassi Schroeder say, “You’re a liar,” which is a sentiment she’s shared about Kristen many times over.
For Vanderpump Rules fans it was the slap heard round the world. Let’s turn back the clock to the Season 2 finale of Pump Rules when Kristen Doute finally admitted to Stassi Schroeder that she slept with Jax Taylor. Jax at this time was trying desperately to win Stassi back after cheating on her in Vegas. Kristen was trying desperately to prove that her then-boyfriend Tom Sandoval was cheating with Ariana Madix. But in the midst of all the messiness, another cheating scandal was bubbling under the radar. In the finale, viewers witnessed Kristen finally take accountability for sleeping with Jax. In return, she got slapped – hard – by the self-proclaimed Queen Stassi.
I don’t condone the physical violence – but that season of Pump Rules was epic. This Kristen/Jax/Stassi/Tom “storyline” came out of nowhere – that you have to believe it’s actually real. The secret built the whole season and we got to watch the mess unfold to this slapping crescendo. No matter whose side you were on, everyone could at least agree that this cast was living their messiest lives on camera – and we loved them for it. As they’ve grown in subsequent seasons the series has lost this messy magic. One thing however has remained messy, and that is Stassi and Kristen’s rollercoaster friendship. Today, these women are seemingly on the outs, and Kristen is taking this moment to spill the tea about the infamous cheating scandal.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules finale truly felt like it was the end of an era. And I’m ready to send Jax Taylor off into the abyss, where surely he will go after yelling in Lisa Vanderpump‘s face that this is ‘his show’. Lisa has already endured that type of malarky with Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills so she’ll certainly not put up with it from underling upstarts living in Valley Village (ahem.. Brandi!)
Tom 1 and Tom 2, by compression, are now well on their way to being restaurant moguls after signing onto the expansion of Tom Tom. They are moving into adulthood (finally!), while Jax, don’t bother blessing his cold dead heart, isn’t moving at all. He’s trapped in a fishbowl of his own drool, constantly regurgitating his own nonsense.
Jax can pretend all he wants that he’s tired of Tom 1, but what Jax is really tired of is Tom 1 being successful. Tom and Jax came up together as bartenders at SUR. For most of Vanderpump Rules Jax’s drama has driven things; yet it is Tom who was given the nudge by Lisa.
Only one more week to go until the season finale of Vanderpump Rules! I don’t know about you all, but this season seemed to drag on forever. Thanks in part to Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s never ending
publicity stunt wedding. But all things must come to an end. Of the two, you would think Brittany would have had the hardest time letting go of all the attention. She literally spent two seasons screaming she’s engaged and that she’s a princess. Gag.
Well, the one who actually took it the hardest was Jax. During his wedding, he wanted everyone to respect his “one day.” Which also included multiple bachelor parties. And after the wedding, every day became his one day. And those that didn’t fall in line with him got yelled at. Jax feuded with Max Boyens about scheduling a beach clean up because it was an inconvenient drive for him. He also made Kristen Doute’s pop up event about himself when he randomly went off on her about a sex tape. But most of his vitriol was saved for his favorite punching bags, Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz.
Well, hell hath surely frozen over and the next thing we’ll be celebrating on Vanderpump Rules is an ice skating party because I actually liked Katie Maloney this episode. Hold me – I am fainting from the vapors!
At least I’m reassured that the constant is my complete and utter disgust of Jax Taylor! Accidentally taking a bite of that moldy lasagna found in the back of your fridge during a dunk binge eat is more desirable!
After Jax went on a rage-text tirade and uninvited everyone from his pool party (like anyone wanted to go to begin with) Tom Sandoval decided to host his own party for the rejects. Unfortunately the list of rejects grew and grew until it was revenge of the rejects with Tom and Ariana Madix winding up with an amazing party while Jax and Brittany Cartwright had one of the sad little get-togethers you see at the end of an HGTV House Hunters episode when the couple claims they “LOVE” to entertain.
During the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules, Jax Taylor randomly brought up that Kristen Doute had a sex tape during an event that Kristen was hosting to promote her t-shirt line James Mae. What was up with that timing, man?
Kristen insisted that the video was from four years ago. Jax insisted that it was more recent. And, ultimately, Kristen admitted she lied during her confessional interview.
This season seems to be a reckoning on Vanderpump Rules. A washing the slate clean to prepare for the new and fresh, and the people getting hit the hardest are Jax Taylor and Scheana Marie. I welcome this.
For some bizarro reason Max Boyens hosts a beach clean-up at a public beach that gets regularly cleaned by the city. Then, because this makes total logical sense, everyone who shows up is swilling wine out of plastic solo cups. Erm. Look – I get it, they need to give Max something to DO besides women, but how about we get a little more filler about his backstory? Like who is this guy other than the person who’s presumably replacing Jax as the Number 3 guy in the TomSquared concoction.
Speaking of Jax, he does not attend because he it’s ridiculous to have to drive “4 hours,” polluting the environment to clean up a beach. He’s not wrong, but of course Brittany Cartwright is there. They could’ve taken the car pool lane, y’all!
It looks like 2020 is the year of the virtual reunion. Well, pretty much the virtual everything at this point. Real Housewives of Atlanta filmed a reunion via Zoom. The Tinger King cast filmed their reunion virtually as well. Now, it’s the Vanderpump Rules cast’s turn at the virtual reunion.
Just because the sit-down was filmed via webcam while the cast members quarantined safely at home, it doesn’t mean that they toned down the glam. They may have done their own hair and makeup, but you really can’t tell. They really went all out. All 392,252,155 of the cast members.