Kyle Dixon

A charter guest complains about Matt's cooking

On last night’s Below Deck, we lost one crew member and gained another. Well, I use the word “gain” loosely, Jen Howell and Kate Chastain needed an HR rep to review sexual harassment policies. Support each other, ladies – no slutshaming aboard the 5-star Valor! And Nico Scholly made a miraculous recovery.

Poor Nico is in his bunk, all by himself, flexing his hand while tapping on his iPhone just waiting for Brianna Adekeye to check his temperature. Instead Jen and Bri are in hula gear at 1am, faced with a mountain of dishes that gives Jen delirium and psychosis. She’s talking more gibberish than usual, and she’s pretty sure that butter knife turned into a talking seahorse. What was IN that dinner Matt Burns made? It sure wasn’t happy juice!

Kyle Dixon arrested

Legal troubles continue to haunt the cast of Below Deck, with sources reporting that season four deckhand Kyle Dixon was arrested last week for robbing a UK bar. Oh, dear. First, they got Kate Chastain – and now Kyle? There must be something in the water!

After allegedly stealing 8,000 Euro from a pub last year, Kyle was finally arrested after arriving at Gatwick Airport on a flight from L.A. last week. Kyle says he was “marched off the plane in handcuffs” upon landing, then released on bail until further investigation is completed.

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Ben-Robinson-Kate-Chastain-Captain-Lee-Fundraiser-Below-Deck

Since we were royally shafted out of a Below Deck reunion this year, Bravo is throwing us a (very tiny) bone by way of a catch-up blog, highlighting what the crew has been up to since cameras stopped rolling and regrets they have from their days aboard Valor.

A few juicy details are revealed, but maddeningly, Kyle Dixon spills absolutely no beans about his shady shenanigans of late. Thus, we must continue to stalk him on social media for answers. Sigh. #TheTruthIsOutThere

Kate Chastain left the season on a low note with former friend and sometime-lover, Ben Robinson. Since then, though, she admits that she’s seen Ben from time to time – and that he’s had more than one lady friend by his side over the past months! What? Bemily is OVER? Say it ain’t so!

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Below Deck First Impressions

Season four of Below Deck sailed into the sunset this week; thus we are left with Captain Lee Rosbach’s final searing blog in its wake. Though a fair amount of drama happened throughout filming, Lee reflects that his crew didn’t seem to learn a whole lot from it. But he sure did.

“From a captain’s point of view, I learned a lot,” writes Lee. “For instance, I found out that no matter how well you feel you know your crew and how they will behave in a given set of circumstances, you really don’t know them as well as you thought you did. People I thought were loyal weren’t and some who I thought weren’t turned out to surprise me. I’m not going to get into names or specifics here, but I really was not all that pleased with our overall performance this season. And for that I must bear responsibility.”

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Kate-ChastainEmily-Warburton-Adam-Sierra-Storm-Ben-Robinson-Uniforms-Below-Deck

It’s time to bid a fond farewell to Below Deck, season four. Goodbye, Captain Lee Rosbach’s epic blogs! Adios, Kate Chastain’s Resting B*tch Face! See ya later, Kyle Dixon’s massively confusing backstory! Ciao, Bemily! Thanks for the forever scarring memories of late night snot snacking, Trevor Walker! Tragically, we won’t get to see the aftermath of this season’s drama play out on the couches, as there will be no reunion this year. To which I say: Pfffffffffft. Not okay, Andy Cohen! Why do you have to be so uncool to us, bro?

Last night, Kate continued laying into her crew, who seem to be using their last charter as a chance to slack off. After a pep talk from Kate, Emily Warburton Adam seems on board with ending the season strong. But Sierra Storm is not about to let this annoying stuff called “work” ruin her frightening permasmile. She chooses to passive-aggressively snark “sure” to Kate’s instructions. Maybe she just needs a hug? Emily obliges by giving her one.

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Kyle-Dixon-Ashley-Girlfriend-Walking-Below-Deck

When Kyle Dixon first came on Below Deck, I found it difficult to understand him and I mean that in the most literal sense since his dialogue was often accompanied by subtitles for clarification, which made things feel even more awkward when he tried to woo his coworker Sierra Storm. Well, that didn’t go well and then Kyle revealed that he actually had a girlfriend named Ashley, who happens to be transgender. And for some insane reason Sierra thought it was a good idea to make derogatory comments about that in front of reality TV cameras.

Damn. That was stupid. Pretty much everyone forgot about Kyle trying to woo Sierra when he already had a boo at home because Sierra’s comments ended up taking center stage. Obviously, this didn’t sit well with Kyle. AT ALL.

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below-deck-recap

Last night’s Below Deck was all about frustration. Kate Chastain resurrects the Resting B*tch Face to combat her frustration over the shoddy work – and attitude – she’s perceiving from Sierra Storm and Emily Warburton-Adam. Meanwhile, Kelley Johnson does his best to quiet his ego as he adjusts to life with Nico Scholly’s new senior deckhand status. As opposed to Nico’s freshman deckhand behavior lately – which now includes blaming Kate for all of his self-inflicted problems aboard Valor! Lauren Burchnell is, of course, all too happy to blame Kate too. She’s #TeamNico, whether it makes sense or not. Sigh. I had such high hopes for Lauren early in the season. What happened to this girl in six short weeks?

We begin with Kate and Kelley bemoaning their separate fates. But Ben Robinson and Emily are celebrating theirs! After preserving Emily’s funeral bouquet for as long as humanly possible, Ben finally scored an adult sleepover ashore. From which he emerged giddier than ever. Kyle Dixon is also breathing a sigh of relief after his girlfriend Ashley took his sketchy Sierra news pretty well. Kyle better get it together for that patient girl because she is standing by his excuse-making arse even though he doesn’t deserve it. #TeamAshley

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Captain Lee

Though his blog this week isn’t quite as vitriolic as the past two, Captain Lee Rosbach is still less than pleased with the motley crew he’s saddled with for this season of Below Deck. Disappointed in Kelley Johnson, disgusted with Lauren Burchnell, and amused/confused by Ben Robinson, Lee hopes his crew can just hold it together for ONE last charter.

Lee begins, “I am not sure that I have had this many crew members so unfocused this late in the season. We seem to be shooting ourselves in the foot time and time again for no apparent reason. It is abundantly clear to me that some of this crew do not have their heads in the game, and this our most important guest to date, Mr. Dean Slover.” Ugh. No props to Slover, please!

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