Alright so this is a cold day in hell because last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills had me feeling sorry for Kyle Richards. I was also Lisa Rinna bellowing across a bar “What happened?!” cause seriously I’d like to know how we got to the hot mess express and threw Kyle under?! Also, I am warning you: I have nothing nice to say about Dorit Kemsley.
The ladies are in NYC for Fashion Week and because Dorit has achieved the meteoric accomplishment of landing the cover of a magazine no one would’ve heard about were it not for Lisa Vanderpump previously landing a cover there. If you recall when LVP had her Bella Magazine party it ignited apology-gate with Eileen Davidson, and after Kyle and Dorit’s disastrous issues last night, it appears to me that Bella Magazine is bad luck for Real Housewives. It is better to be cover-less than covered in bad friendships!
Thanks to Valentine’s Day, there were a lot of reality TV stars posting on social media this week. From the couples photos, to the proud single ladies, to the mother/daughter valentines, there were a lot of sweet photos to choose from for this week’s edition of Instagram Roundup.
As a faithful viewer of both Vanderpump Rules and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I just cannot decide how I feel about Lisa Vanderpump. Watching Vanderpump Rules, I want to start bartending so Lisa can adopt me and take me under her wing with a restaurant named in my honor. When Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is on the next night, I’m scared of falling victim to secondhand manipulation while I sit on my couch at home. It is essentially a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation.
To add to my confusion, the woman who stormed out of a lunch because she felt ignored while Dorit Kemsley comforted Kyle Richards while she was crying is the same person who is an avid philanthropist and LGBT advocate. It’s just so tough to reconcile my thoughts when it comes to Lisa Vanderpump, yet I will never turn away from any of her shows and I have seen every single episode. Multiple times.
The women took issue with Erika after she picked a room to sleep in at the beach house, but didn’t end up staying over. It was Erika’s time of the month and she wanted to deal with that privately. When she returned in the morning, the women accused Erika of having this all planned out and Kyle Richards referred to her behavior as “weird” multiple times.
‘Money Can’t Buy You Class’ – that’s certainly the case with Erika Girardi and Dorit Kemsley. There are some Real Housewives friendships I relish and delight in, and there are others, like these two, that fill you with a certain disingenuous dread (think Gretchen and Tamra). On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, Dorit crossed one friend to try and secure another. And the worst part – despite copious warnings, she seemed oblivious! Like when the signs read: “Don’t swim! Shark invested waters” yet you you dive right in.
Actually the worst part is that after all the bickering between herself, Lisa Vanderpump, and Kyle Richards they all managed to have a rip-roaring, super wedgie-tastic, twerking good time getting drunk and silly at Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave‘s beach house. It was the perfect way to bond these girls and put all the bad blood behind them, then DORIT ruined it all! Dorit and her mouth. Can someone stuff a designer sock in it? PeeeeeeeKaaaaaay?
Last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills led to yet another issue between Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump about defining the boundaries of their friendship. I see both sides of this argument. I’d also like to remind them that in the middle of their bickering is a little follicle-ly unstable blonde woman named Dorit Kemsley, who cannot and will not stop talking shit about everyone she calls a friend.
Actually last night everyone (*except Dorit*) was more human. I credit Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave‘s influence. She’s chill, relaxed, absent of pretense, and despite being publicly scolded and denigrated over inappropriate stemware application, she STILL invited everyone to her ‘beach cottage’ for a potluck. Something about casseroles and dips puts everyone in a ‘let’s get real’ mood. Huddled around Teddi’s kitchen island, surrounded by pita chips served from Pottery Barn dishes, the women all showed their vulnerable and softer roots as opposed to their usual Febreezed exterior.
Everyone and everything on this season’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is getting on my last nerve except for Kyle Richards…which has me wondering if I’m suffering from some horrible disorder. When ol’ Splits McGee is the lady I’m vying to befriend, you know it’s bad! I’m enjoying Erika Girardi and am glad to see she’s burying the hatchet with Dorit Kemsley. However, Dorit (and her accent) is condescending and painful, so there’s that. The verdict is still out as to my opinion on Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, but Dorit’s treatment of this woman at every turn has me at least sympathetic. Also, am I the only one who loves Vanderpump RulesLisa but is indifferent towards RHOBH Lisa V? What is my problem this season? Do I need Bravo to bring back Taylor Armstrong?
Maybe it’s simply the lack of genuine drama that is disappointing. Are we still talking about late-gate and shaming bartenders over wine glasses champagne flutes? If your biggest worry is whether your driver will be able to navigate rush hour traffic to make it to the helipad so you can surprise your husband with a chopper ride and floating casino for his fiftieth birthday, there likely isn’t much to scream about. At least Teddi seems to have the ability to take the pettiness with a grain of salt…at the moment.
Ugh – it’s official, Dorit Kemsley is the one with multiple personalities, not Erika. It’s like Dorit’s evil doppelgänger does all these bad behaviors on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, then Dorit swoops in with a new hair style and a new accent to pretend she has “absolutely no idea” what anyone is talking about because she, a woman of impeccable etiquette, would never EVER call someone a C-word during dinner, or throw a fit over the wrong wine glass at a party, or be one hour late to a drinks meeting then lie about it.
No, she will throw Casino Royale parties where arrives via helicopter in designer gowns, waving to her people and smiling graciously. Dorit’s idealized self is not communicating with her actual self and we’re having problems here. Big time!