We’re 3 seconds in and I need to call in Kim Zolciak for a wig intervention on Brooke Burke. That was the most unnatural hair piece ever shown on national television. And that includes The Donald.
Right away we find out that Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd are safe and moving on to the semi-finals. Those Packer fans are not to be underestimated, thankfully.
Since we’re down to just a handful of couples, they find even more fillers for this week. They create a “Dance Center” segment that just fell flat, unless you enjoyed that bit with Len, jogging shirtless and oiling himself up. I may need therapy. And in another “ABC family show moment”, we’re shown a montage of Katherine Jenkins talking about her naughty bits and an edited clip of her shaking boobs over and over and over and..you get the idea.
Last week we said buh-bye to Jaleel White on Dancing with the Stars, leaving us with just six couples. Last night, the couples danced twice. First, they danced one-on-one and then later, as a threesome.
First up, Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd danced a sassy tango that Len absolutely loved. Bruno said he thought he’d have to call a marriage counselor because they were so convincing in their aggression.
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It was Classical Night on this week’s Dancing with the Stars and it brought with it a strange mix of performances.
Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas chose the rumba. I think Mark doing the dance shirtless just felt a little tacky. It didn’t fit with the theme of the night, nor their music piece. Bruno’s goes a little over-the-top with his innuendos, as always. Carrie Ann Inaba says Katherine’s dance had beautiful lines but not enough chemistry and heat.
Melissa Gilbert and Maksim Chmerkovskiy danced the Argentine tango. Maks is powering through with a foot issue, while his brother Val is on standby just in case he can’t make it. Maks does make it to performance night, but the judges aren’t very impressed with this week’s attempt. Bruno said they looked like they were riding the Cyclone at Coney Island. Carrie Ann says it was like Cirque du Soleil went horribly wrong. They wind up with the lowest score of the night – 21.
After performances by Natasha Bedingfield and the Macy’s Stars of Dance, we have Boys II Men on the stage. Sometimes I’m a little confused about the purpose of these results shows. They just don’t have much to do with the DWTS, in my humble opinion. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the extra dances and musical guests, maybe I just don’t have the patience for it when I’m waiting for them to get on with the eliminations?
The “Bottom Two” couples become Gladys and Tristan vs. Roshon and Chelsie, who must dance in front of the judges in a dance duel. The couples dance the jive for this one and they both did a great job, but the judges have to pick only one. Carrie Ann and Len praised them both for their efforts. Len tells Gladys again that she dances with her heart, just like she sings. Bruno tells her it’s been an honor to have her on the show.
When it’s all over, Bruno and Len choose to save Roshon and Chelsie, which means Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus are eliminated. Gladys has had low numbers all along, but I was secretly hoping she’d turn it around and stay longer.
TELL US – ARE YOU SAD TO SEE GLADYS GO? DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PAIR YET?
This week on Dancing with the Stars, the couples dance to songs performed by The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, and Martha Reeves for Motown week.
Fittingly, Gladys Knight kicks off Motown week. Gladys invites her brother, Bubba, to rehearsals to school Tristan in Motown moves. Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus dance the rhumba. Gladys is beaming and looks right at home on the dance floor. Carrie Ann thinks there were too many forgettable moments while Len wishes he could judge her with his heart. The judges give them a 21.
Maria Menounousand Derek Hough dance the foxtrot. Despite a mishap on the stairs, which left Maria disharmonious, the judges give her favorable reviews and a score of 26. Looking flawless, Roshon Fegan and Chelsie Hightower’s rhumba did not sit well with the judges. Carrie Ann also calls them on a lift. The judges give them a 23. The judging continues to be consistently inconsistent.
Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas are next, dancing the Samba. Katherine and Mark look stunning and creepy in their golden outfits, respectively. Katherine certainly found the bounce she was looking for in rehearsals. Their samba is lively, fun, and well-choreographed. The crowd and judges love their routine. Len refers to Katherine as a midwife, because she delivers week after week, and Bruno felt it was exhilarating. The judges give them a 29.
Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd dance a very solid foxtrot; however, Donald will have to wait at least one more week for that much-anticipated perfect ten from Len. Each judge gives them a nine for a total of 27.
Melissa Gilbert and Maks Chmerkovskiy, the bad boy we all love to hate, dance the Viennese waltz. Maks is very hard on Melissa in rehearsals this week. He’s pushing and pushing and she’s left feeling a little bit crazy. Maks tells her it could be worse. “You could have an ugly partner,” he says. The Viennese Waltz is undeniably Melissa’s best dance. She looks lovely in this slower, lyrical dance. The judges give them a 24.
The Jaleel that impressed in week one is back. Jaleel White and Kym Johnson tear up the dance floor with the cha cha. The judges declare a comeback and award them with a score of 29. The final dance of the night comes from William Levy and Cheryl Burke, dancing the rumba. Following their dance, Bruno says they’re wired for sex. Their dance was mostly vertical sex and groping, which earns them a 27 from the judges. Will Cheryl ever choreograph more technically rich dances for William or simply convince him to dance shirtless again? Does it matter?
Finally, all eight couples are on the dance floor for the dance marathon. Dancing the cha cha, the judges eliminate one couple at a time until there is one duo declared the winner. They’ll add three to ten points to their scores, depending on when they are asked to leave the floor.
Gladys and Tristan are eliminated first, adding only three points to their score. Maria and Derek, Roshon and Chelsie, and Melissa and Maks are the next three couples asked to leave the marathon. Donald and Peta are eliminated fifth, adding seven points to their score. With eight extra points, Jaleel and Kym are the next to be eliminated. The final two couples are William and Cheryl and Katherine and Mark. William’s knee sliding on repeat fails to impress in the end. William and Cheryl will add nine points to their score, but Katherine and Mark are ultimately declared the winners, adding ten points to their already near-perfect score.
The final scores for Motown week:
Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas – 39
Jaleel White and Kym Johnson – 37
William Levy and Cheryl Burke – 36
Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd – 34
Melissa Gilbert and Maks Chmerkovskiy – 30
Maria Menounous and Derek Hough – 30
Roshon Fegan and Chelsie Hightower – 28
Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus – 24
TELL US – WHO DO YOU THINK IS ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK THIS WEEK?
Week five on Dancing with the Starswas Latin Week. The contestants stepped up their game this week. Some teams hit it out of the park, while others fall flat.
Jaleel White and Kym Johnson are up first, dancing the samba. Jaleel’s abs alone deserve some sort of trophy. Len is overjoyed at their rhythm. Up next is Melissa Gilbert and Maks doing the salsa. It’s still not clear exactly how severe Melissa’s injuries were last week. During their dance, they’re doing several moves that look rough on her head and neck. Maks hints that the injuries were exaggerated last week. To me, Melissa seems as awkward as Jack Wagner was on the dance floor. Bruno tells her to go with it, but reminds her again that she needs to show more control. Carrie Ann gives her credit for her increased confidence from week one. The judges give them a 21.
Maria Menounos and Derek Hough bring the heat again this week with their salsa. In rehearsal, Maria face plants during a move where she’s coming through Derek’s legs. She freezes there and is upset because she’s expecting that she’s a bloody mess, but there’s nary a scratch on her. After their dance, Carrie Ann declares that their kiss was too much. It should be about what you don’t show. And Len isn’t impressed with Derek taking his shirt off. It felt forced.
Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas dance a hot Argentine tango. Len says it had beauty and it was bittersweet. Bruno loved the choreography. They award them the highest score of the night so far: a 29.
Karina Smirnoff and Gavin DeGraw pick the samba. Len dubs it a ‘Shamba’. Ouch. They’re given the lowest score of the night: 19. Unless the voters light up the phone lines, I think these two are doomed tomorrow night.
William Levy and Cheryl Burke do the tango and it’s hot and perfect. Carrie Ann needs a bucket of ice after their dance, calling William the Latin dancing James Bond. They tie Katherine and Mark’s score of 29.
Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus do a sweet samba and the judges praise her stage presence.
Roshon Fegan and Chelsie Hightower knock it out of the park, as do Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd with their Argentine tango. Donald says he analyzes each dance like a football play. Len praises them for their lifts and Bruno gushes about the sexy build up of their dance.
The Dancing with the Stars contestants got their rock ‘n roll on tonight. It was a sea of black satin, big hair, and lame fauxhawks. And no season of DWTS is ever complete without at least a half a dozen injuries or so. Oh, and pretend “groupies” gyrating on the judges table.
Brooke Burke really got into the spirit of the night with some huge ’80’s hair that would make Dee Snider jealous.
Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus tried their hardest to dance to a difficult song, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, which the judges gave them credit for attempting, but they weren’t impressed. Carrie Ann didn’t think it came together well and their posture wasn’t strong enough. I gave them an extra point for Gladys’ costume!
Cheryl Burke and William Levy received stern words about their goofs, which included a fumble or two that threw off their rhythm and caused them to go on too long. Carrie Ann told them they needed to stay focused.
Chelsea Hightower and Roshon Fegan gave it their all and the judges were thrilled. Carrie Ann gushed that she thinks Roshon is the best dancer among this season’s men.
Maria Menounos and Derek Hough danced an incredible tango to “School’s Out”, despite Maria’s foot injury. Maria was a trooper and never let us see how much pain she is in, but all Len could muster for her was a “just pretty good”. Carrie Ann was blown away by their chemistry. Derek did his best to get a few sympathy votes by carrying Maria upstairs for their score reveal.
Gavin DeGraw and Karina Smirnoff drew criticism for the form/posture, dancing to ‘Paint it Black’.
The top scorers of the evening, Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd kicked up the heat in a paso doble to Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze”. The judges were blown away, with Carrie Ann Inaba dubbing it “psychedelic, bizarre, sexy, raunchy, hot. One of the most memorable moments.”
Melissa Gilbert and Maksim Chmerkovskiy disappeared after their performance because Melissa needed to be seen for an injury and it couldn’t wait. From updates shared this morning, Melissa was suffering from whiplash and a concussion.
I don’t know about you, but this season is just a little ho-hum for me. It needs a shake up. Get some Housewives on there. An entire contestant lineup of just Housewives.
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