Poor Jacqueline, er, I mean Joyce Giraud certainly learned what it means to plan a girls' trip in the land of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Either someone ends up drunk in a suitcase or someone ends up wasted at the dinner table, but regardless, intoxication only fuels the drama and bad behavior with this group. Joyce especially took issue with Brandi Glanville's behavior (Who didn't? That comment about Joyce's inability to swim crossed so many lines, I'd be worried if she wasn't offended!). She didn't take too kindly to be shushed by Yolanda Foster either. At least Kyle Richards had her back. Good ol' Splits!
In her Bravo blog, Joyce breaks down the entire episode, but she doesn't shy away from calling out Brandi and YoFo. I hate to break it to her, but all the hair flipping and taking the high road isn't going to make it to far with this crowd. Kyle has already cornered the market on the hair, and none of these ladies seem to know the meaning of being the bigger person…unless by "big", you mean "fat." In that case, Joyce may be alright considering she's already got the name of a big ol' fat lady.
Adding feud to the indomitable friendship breakdown were some recent comments Yolanda's husband David Foster made concerning her participation in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Y'all lemon-lovers are not gonna like what you're about to read!
In an interview with the Canadian Press, Oscar-seeker David revealed this wife has always had ulterior motives for joining RHOBH and that she really doesn't pay the show much mind.
"She's doing it for a specific reason, and her reason is that she wants to have a … lifestyle and fitness show," David revealed. "She's very good at it and she's very good at giving advice." David says Yolanda previously hosted such a show in her native Netherlands.
It was the first Real Housewives of Beverly Hills vacation last night and true to form it was like a game of Clue with whodunit and why, with what, where and WTF?
Last night's metaphorical Housewives slayer was none other than Brandi Glanville who could hold neither her alcohol or her tongue. Although she did start out by telling us all the things she likes to do with her tongue or have a tongue to do her when she conducted a little market research for her new book. Yep, sex, wine, and Brandi again… *yawn*
Over at Joyce Giraud's house she's preparing for Palm Springs with a fashion show. Joyce's closet is beautiful. And it houses the entire GoldenGirls wardrobe department archives, including several pair of reproduction hibiscus print culottes.
While they hung out by the pool in Palm Springs, Joyce revealed that she can't swim, which prompted Brandi to fire off with "you're a black person". Brandi then tried to jokingly explain that her black friends would've laughed at that because they, too, won't get in the water, fearing getting their weaves wet. Brandi's castmates were shocked by her generalizations and fans reacted, calling her a racist.
Andy Cohen said to Brandi, "As you can imagine I got a buttload of Tweets for you, wanting to know what you were thinking. Kenya Moore, Atlanta Housewife Tweeted 'not all black women wear hair weaves, half the women on Beverly Hills Housewives are wearing some fake hair. Brandi could not be more ignorant.' "
Kyle Richards is going to be dining out on this cheating story a long time! But she will certainly not be dining out at SUR or Villa Blanca.
In this episode Kyle and husband Mauricio Umansky once again dismissed the rumors as ridiculous, but meanwhile across town, Kyle's former friend Lisa Vanderpump wasn't 100% certain Kyle's hubby – or any one else's – didn't cheat!
"After last week, I really was at a loss as to how I could move forward with Lisa and Brandi [Glanville]. Then after seeing this week's episode it makes it even more difficult," Kyle begins. "Lisa brings up the tabloids once again and so clearly wants to cast doubt on my marriage and Mauricio's integrity while pretending to be supportive. You aren't being supportive if you're saying 'Well, I don't know for sure' and putting that out there."
"I am very appreciative of Kenspeaking up to Lisa and saying he knows it's not true because he knows Mauricio and considers him a friend," Kyle adds.
If ever there was a reality star that probably should have her own wine it's longtime bar and restaurant owner Lisa Vanderpump!
There were whispers some time ago that the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star was working on a Villa Blanca rosé, which never appeared on the market. However last week Lisa was in Miami for The Pride White Party and she was also promoting something surprising: a sangria!
Huh? Where did that come from?! Lisa and daughter Pandora Todd promoted LVP Sangria at the party which as of course pretty in pink and probably tastes delicious. According to the website it's coming soon.
Monday's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had the Richards sisters celebrating graduation, Yolanda Foster celebrating her husband's star on the Walk of Fame, and, what was that again? Yes, yes. Brandi making out with Carlton. While she mentions all of it in her Bravo blog, I've just chosen to highlight her new infatuation with Splits and her sibling sidekick. Brandi feels sorry for Kyle, y'all. Join me, won't you, as we return to bitch mountain…