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I feel like high stepping, finger snapping, dance-off gang fight is about to happen in Miami a la the Sharks and Jets, and the Sharks are the Kardashian sisters and their fans and the Jets are, well, everyone else.  As you recall, the Kim and Kourtney got the boot from South Beach, but they landed in a very nice gated community in North Miami Beach.  Granted, said gated community is near strip malls and convenience stores (I know, I totes have hives too just typing about it.  Gag.), but those Kardashian girls are nothing without without their keen ability to adapt in any situation with other vapid ridiculously rich for no reason people. 

Oddly enough, it was living near the Kardashians that led potential South Beach neighbors to send the girls packing.  Now that filming has begun for the umpteenth spin-off of their family reality dynasty, the North Miami Beach natives are getting restless…or at least one of them is!  There is apparently a disgruntled realtor on the scene.  Um, he clearly didn't get the memo that it's called Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, not Some Guy Wants Money Thanks to Famewhores.   Some people will always try to make a buck at the expense of innocent reality stars.  Sadly, in this case, I'm not being sarcastic.

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Can we get a slow clap for everyone's favorite momager Kris Jenner?  On the heels of Khloe Kardashian being named an X Factor host alongside Albert Clifford Slater Mario Lopez, we're now learning more about the negotiations–or rather break down in negotiations–that occurred prior to the big announcement.

I, for one, am thrilled to see Khloe separating herself from her sisters in the business world.  She needs her own platform to shine, and that will never happen if Kim is involved.  I mean, didn't Kim make Khloe's infertility issues about herself when she decided to freeze her eggs so that she could breed on down the line with the tiny rapper?  Khloe can't have anything–even a heartbreaking situation–that isn't overshadowed by a certain ego-driven sibling.  Mark my words, Khloe and Mario will be sharing strained banter on the upcoming X Factor season, and Kim will streak across the stage, upstaging the next Susan Boyle (yes, I know she was Britain's Got Talent, but her first foray into reality television is still the most amazing thing I've ever seen.  Tears.) wearing nothing but Kanye West's $5,000 high tops and a smile.  I hate that I can picture it.

Now, we're learning that there is one other person in the family who also needs to reap the headlines when one of her offspring does something right.  That's right.  Kris Jenner needs to go quietly into the background and watch her creations succeed at…well, just being alive…and talking…in a microphone. Of course, we all know Kris' contract won't allow her to do that!

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Another day… American Idol begs for another ratings dollar.

Earlier this week, Nicki Minaj was "miraculously" caught on tape screaming at Mariah Carey during an American Idol audition, and the tape "somehow" ended up in TMZ's possession. Shocker.

On the video, Nicki screamed, “I told them, I’m not f***ing putting up with her f***ing highness over there.” Apparently, Nicki is tired of Mariah's self-involved attitude. TMZ's sources have said, "She [Mariah] keeps bringing up how many records she's sold, name dropping people she's worked with, how many tours she's done, and how many Grammys or awards she's won. Nicki is tired of it."

Also, Nicki has maintained… Mariah isn't innocent. Insiders have backed up Nicki's claim. Reportedly, Nicki walked away from the audition just before the outburst because Mariah was constantly talking down to her. As soon as Nicki returned, Mariah allegedly called her a bitch… cue the "secret" video camera… Nicki lost her temper.

"It was intense," Ryan Seacrest said. Early reports even claimed Nicki made a death threat against Mariah. Putting that rumor to rest, Nigel Lythgoe insisted, "The statement [that Nicki made a death threat] is absolute rubbish.  It's absolutely not true in any way, shape, or form." 

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If you had told me when Real Housewives of Atlanta started that NeNe Leakes would be the breakout star, I would totally have agreed with you.  However, if you had told me she would segue her Bravo gig into a legitimate acting career, I would have pointed you in the direction of the nearest loony bin.  Clearly, I was wrong.

NeNe is now commuting between Atlanta and Los Angeles where she is filming the NBC sitcom The New Normal.  She's no longer screaming in Kim Zolciak's face.  Instead she's trading jokes with The Ellen Barkin.  So, it begs the question…will NeNe be a reality star or an actress?  NeNe seems conflicted herself.

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Bless your heart, American Idol.  Bless it.  In the wake of much more original and exciting talent reality shows, AI is desperately trying to stay remain once again become relevant.  After unveiling the new judges, tabloids immediately began speculating about a giant feud brewing between the original diva Mariah Carey and raspy rapper extraordinaire Nicki Minaj.  Here's what I know to be true:  Starships were meant to fly, Glitter will always be a horrible movie, and such obvious PR stunts can be spotted from a mile away.

I mean, yes, if you told me that Mariah Carey would be totally horrid to work with and she has a need to always be the HBIC (head b*tch in charge, duh), I would totally believe you.  If you also informed me that Nicki Minaj had an ego the size of her booty and annoyed everyone in her path, I certainly wouldn't call you a liar.  However, the whole situation is just too perfect.  The show needs publicity.  Shoving Keith Urban in America's face wasn't enough to create a giant buzz, so let's say these two talented, strong-willed, and notoriously diva-licious ladies can't stand one another.  Nice try.

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There has been quite the change up over at American Idol, but Fox has finally named its new judges.  Here's hoping that a fresh new batch of superstars can breathe some life back into this talent competition.  For the past few seasons, the show has been a revolving door of judges, with only host Ryan Seacrest and voice of reason Randy Jackson remaining constant.

Earlier this year, the show bid farewell to former judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler, while Mariah Carey secured the first spot at the new judges' table.  Since then, there has been so much speculation as to who would join her in finding new singing talent.  There have been multiple musicians thrown in the hat, from Nick Jonas to P. Diddy, but now Mariah's counterparts have been chosen.  I wonder what she thinks of them though…

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Is Sean Lowe the next Bachelor? Well, apparently, he's the only "name" still in the running. 

On August 31st, Arie Luyendyk Jr. announced that he is pulling out of the race to be the next Bachelor. Arie tweeted, "The Bachelorette was an amazing experience but I will not continue with the Bachelor. Ultimately I realized my heart is tied to the race track and my career is my main priority. I'm looking forward to getting back on the track." 

As you can imagine, Arie's fans went crazy. I may have shed a tear myself. Seriously… the good looks… the kisses… the sense of humor… Arie would be an entertaining Bachelor. Did someone just mumble cough <but he's a player>? Eh, their standards haven't too high in recent years anyway. Case in point – Jake Pavelka and Brad Womack Part 2Arie responded to me his fans on Twitter, "Lots of encouraging remarks. Thank you for all the love, the future looks bright and you will see more of me soon enough. #LoveMyFans."

Just a few days later, on September 4th, Ryan Seacrest disclosed that Roberto Martinez will "definitely not" be the seventeenth Bachelor. The dimples are out too?! There's that tear again.

What else does Ryan have to say?

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Ahhh… Real Housewives of New Jersey. Never  a dull moment. And never one where I don't need earplugs. Yesterday Melissa Gorga paid a visit to Ryan Seacrest's radio show where she debuted her new single "I Just Wanna…" Oh, the fetes of autotune and audio editing. Amazing, no? I mean I could probably make a hit and I sound like my bassett hound howling when I sing. 

Anyway, Melissa tells Ryan: “I’m really excited about this one. I love it, it’s my absolute favorite. I think I have a hit here. There’s a male vocal that comes in on it…I’ve been looking for an opportunity to do something where a male vocal would come in."

Melissa collaborated with Santino Noir who sings on the track. And she also shot her first music video. Somehow I imagine a lot of discount Brittney Spears-esque grinding circa 2002? "I just shot an amazing video for it that’s going to be released next week. So, I’m just excited about the whole thing,” Melissa gushes. 

You can hear a clip of I Just Wanna… below. It hits iTunes September 9th! I know what I'm saving my money for… 

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