Sometimes my reality gets skewed. It's been skewed as of late. I'm bewildered. The light of musicals, Southern belle charm, and quick wit wrapped in a tiny little package has disappointed me. Yet, I still can't blame her. I feel as if she's been brainwashed. I can't think of another logical explanation.
I'll just come right out and say it. I've heard the rumors, and I've read the gossip, but I so didn't want to believe it was true. But we now have confirmation. Sigh. It seems that everyone's favorite multi-talented spitfire little cupcake Kristin Chenoweth is, in fact, dating former Bachelor alum and d-bag pilot Jake Pavelka. When did the world go so awry? I'd hoped that she was his beard, but it doesn't seem like that is the case. I don't know what to believe anymore. Gracious.
This was a good week for our favorite reality shows! It seems that everyone is getting back into the swing of 2013, and with a routine comes our favorite old habits…watching some of the most fantastically trashy television series known to man.
Chris Harrison is on hand, as well, to keep every single most dramatic rose ceremony running smoothly. Not on hand? Emily Maynard. She broke Sean's heart on the Bachelorette and, for the sake of my sanity, needs to stay far away from this season.
Sean has fully recovered from his heartbreak and is ready to try again on the Bachelor. Clearly, he's a fool. He says the idea of possibly meeting his future wife during this journey (drink up, my friends) is kind of exciting and kind of intimidating.
Sean adds, "I want the end result. I want to protect my woman. I want to love my woman. I want to honor her. I want to love her with everything I have, and I want to be the best possible man I can be for her. I want to be rich in love."
Because ABC doesn't completely hate me,Arie Luyendyk, Jr. stops by Sean's pad to help him prepare for what is to come. Mr. Holy Hotness schools Sean on how to properly kiss a woman: Eye contact. Use your hands. Touch her hair. Touch her face. Tease her with your tongue. No lizard tongue. Use your whole body. #coldshower
Curse you, Arie, for not signing up for this train wreck of a show solely for my entertainment.
Sean Lowe's season of The Bachelor will be upon us before we can say "made for TV love never lasts!" ABC has recently released the lovely ladies who will be vying for Sean's affections this season – and now they're releasing the trailer for the upcoming season.
Chris Harrison has promised this is not a "let's get drunk, let's get naked" kind of a season, which kinda defeats the purpose of watching the show. I mean the good parts are all the desperate famewhores working overtime to throw themselves at some dude who will propose to them for his own famehoochie aspirations.
Ashley and J.P. will be following in the footsteps of the original Bachelorette couple Trista and Ryan Sutter. Not only are they getting married, but they're doing so in a two hour televised ABC special. Is that part of their contract? #rhetoricalquestions Also, we have some spoilers, so if you don't want to skip ahead 9+ episode's of Sean's Bachelor season and make your own betting pools, consider yourself forewarned.
Can you believe it? Sean Lowe is already three quarters of the way to the Bachelor's most romantic final rose ceremony ever. ever.
According to Chris Harrison, Sean's journey is going well and it seems as if Emily Maynard is a distant memory."Sean's doing great and his choices and decisions so far have been really good," Chris told US Weekly. "He's looking for a lady: someone who respects herself and her family. It's not a crazy, 'let's get drunk, let's get naked' type of season because that's not Sean."
That said, Chris promised, "He has his shirt off a lot." See photo evidence below.
No one ever likes to admit when they're wrong. It's humbling and very embarrassing…even more so when you're eating crow about the Bachelor franchise. Until I fell for quirky One F Jef Holm on the Bachelorette finale, I was a tried and true Arie Luyendyk Jr. fan. In fact, I loved that Emily Maynard chose Jef because that meant that Arie was still on the market. In addition to reality television, I am also somewhat of a racing fanatic. Weird, I know. Since Carl Edwards is married, I hung all of my hopes on Arie.
Alas, those hopes have been dashed…along with my once Pollyanna-esque views that Arie was a happy-go-lucky, love struck dude who enjoyed awkwardly intense make-out sessions. It turns out my friend (a Sean Lowe fan, go figure) tried to warn me that Arie was just another player, and it seems she was right. Why else would he be caught sucking face with fame harlot Courtney Robertson less than a week after she was able to shake former fiance Ben Flajnik? At least she upgraded in the hair department!