The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Paris Hilton Taught Me That…

More drama this week on the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The episode starts off with Caroline Manzo auditioning two of her sisters to be Dina’s replacement. No, just kidding! But oddly enough, the two sisters look more like Dina than Caroline. Albie’s law school dilemma is brought up and Caroline shares she is at a crossroads in her life, as her kids are now getting older and getting ready to move out of the house. It seems Caroline, who has devoted her entire life to her kids and family, is now starting to realize it’s time to start stepping back on the mama bear role.

Teresa and Jacqueline meet up for lunch with Kim D. who does her best Kelly Bensimon impression when she utters a “Hiiiiii” as she walks in late. And did you know Kim D. and Kim G. are sister in laws? Yep I just found that out today. Definitely puts things into perspective. Teresa brings up a good point when she asks Kim D. if she can be trusted since she talks about Danielle behind her back, only to turn around and hang out with her. Kim D. invites the ladies to her fashion show and informs them Danielle will be in attendance. Jacqueline is hesitant to be in the same room with Dirty D (excellent nickname given to Danielle via our awesome commenters), while Teresa seems on-board.

Next up is New Jersey’s equivalent of Kelly Bensimon, except Danielle, even at her worst, still seems very sane in comparison to Kelly. Danielle shares she’s received text messages from 16 ex-cons people informing her that Kim D. has invited her enemies to the fashion show. Dirty D then storms into the Posche boutique and demands to see Kim D. Danielle immediately decides the front desk lady, Donna, isn’t bowing down to her, thus causing her to storm out of the store. Danielle proceeds to once again involve her young daughter in her adult issues via a phone call. Danielle then decides to head back into the store and commands Donna to have Kim D. give her a call. Donna has the best reply as Danielle storms out again: “Didn’t catch your name.” The only thing missing from this scene was Danielle screaming out a ‘Don’t you know who I am!’

Kim D. returns to the store and calls Danielle, who accuses Donna of being rude to her and putting up her finger at her. I went back to watch the footage and at no point did I see Donna raise a finger at Danielle. Dirty D then proceeds to return to the store to stir up some more drama. When Kim D. doesn’t bow down to her, she threatens to stop shopping at Kim D’s store because it would “ruin” their friendship. Perhaps someone should inform Danielle the only reason Kim considers her a friend is because of her wallet. Kim D. realizes she no longer has to pretend to be Danielle’s friend, you know since Danielle is no longer a paying customer, and politely kicks her out of the store.


Danielle, who’s one on one interviews always seem overly dramatic and all around insane, then decides to verbally unleash on Kim D. saying, “believe me she will miss my money,” in regards to her vow to no longer shop at Kim’s tiny little boutique. Isn’t this the same woman who has spent the past two seasons whining and crying about being broke??? Perhaps Kim D. accepts monopoly money.

Caroline and her hubby Al Manzo have an interesting conversation during which Caroline urges Al to retire because she doesn’t like “being alone.” Caroline is 50-years-old so I’m guessing Al is around the same age, which leaves me puzzled as to why she would be pressuring him to retire from a job he seems to love. Asking Al to scale back seems more than fair, but asking him to retire all together seems way over the top. It’s funny enough I discussed Caroline making her entire life about her kids and family last week. Now I do think Caroline’s a good mother, but it doesn’t seem healthy for anyone to have their entire life revolve solely around their kids. Hopefully Caroline can discover herself once again and learn to start living life as Caroline and not as Albie, Chris, and Lauren’s mother.

Kim D. decides to call Danielle and issue a sorta maybe apology. Danielle accepts and decides she will be in attendance for the fashion show. Danielle gives us the second best quote of the night (the best is yet to come) when she states: “Kim D. has no idea what kind of crazies she invited to her fashion show.” This for some reason reminded me of Kelly Bensimon telling the other ladies at the NYC reunion show that they are “dangerous and unpredictable.” Something tells me Danielle and Kelly would make excellent friends!

Next up is the obligatory scene in each episode during which the “others” gather around to talk about Danielle. Caroline informs the ladies she will not be in attendance at the fashion show and Jacqueline feels she should go to support daughter Ashley, who will be modeling in the show. The ladies seem to contradict themselves by now saying the will not allow Danielle to dictate what events they can and cannot attend, when they’ve pretty much spent the entire season proclaiming they want to avoid Danielle at all costs.

We then see Dirty D and her BFF Kim G. as they prepare for the Posche fashion show. In her one on one interview, Jacqueline pretty much sums up Danielle with the following words, “Danielle’s a piece of work. She wants everyone to see her like she’s this victim…”

Danielle walks into the fashion show with a new bodyguard in tow. Apparently Danny the ex-con got fired after for yelling out gay slurs during his last gig. Upon seeing Jacqueline and Teresa at Kim D’s table, Dirty D decides this is an attempt by the women to get at her. On a different side of town, Caroline and hubby Al go on their date night and Caroline sensibly asks Al to try to take more time off work. Al finds this a reasonable demand and promises to do so.

We’re now back to the fashion show and Danielle has decided a psychological FU is needed for what she deems to be the ultimate diss by Kim D. Danielle decides it’s time for her revenge and she begins pouting, ignoring the fashion show, and pretending to be on the phone.

Danielle then gives us the best quote of the season night when the says, “Paris Hilton taught me that, just pretend you’re on the phone.” Aaaah, it all makes sense now! You can never go wrong in life when you consider Paris to be a role model. Ashley takes the runway, and we hear Danielle mutter the words “coke whore” under her breath. Was Danielle referring to Ashley or Kim D? Interesting comment.

As the fashion show moves along, the ladies continue to do the high school stare down. Teresa deems her clique the “cool girls” and Danielle’s clique the “mean girls.” And then out of the blue, Teresa decides she wants to say hi to Danielle. This took me by surprise and I wondered if it was genuine at all. For certain reasons, I will go with genuine for now. Teresa however seemed more confrontational than wanting to make amends during her conversation with Danielle. Thing take a turn for the worst during the very awkward conversation. Curse words are exchanged and the dramatic aftermath will be continued next week.

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS – Not much to say about last night’s show. The guests were Caroline Manzo and her son Albie. Andy Cohen was a bit more obnoxious than usual and Atlanta Housewife Kim Zolciak skyped in to give her expert opinion on Danielle’s singing. Kim said Danielle sounded great and wished her the best. Kim also informed us she is once again off with the still married Big Poppa, while also claiming to have a new person in her life. The hotness known as Albie Manzo received a few questions regarding his hotness and Caroline also denied Danielle’s claims that Dina left the show for other reasons.