Real Housewives of OC Reunion Recap: Reactions, Rage and Revelations

Finally. Part one of the Real Housewives of the Orange County reunion is upon us. I am almost embarrassed to admit how much I have been looking forward to this reunion. Not only does it signal the end of a (very long) season, but with these ladies (and I use that term loosely), there is sure to be some juicy drama. Right off the bat, there are two separate sofas, one for each clique. The legs are shinier and the fake hair is rampant, with each housewife looking more plastic than the next.

Host Andy Cohen starts things off with a tame round of questions. Am I the only one who doesn’t care how Alexis pronounces “Am Ex” or who doesn’t feel the need to watch her awkwardly define “couture” YET AGAIN? Vicki reveals that she and Brianna hate the word “vagina” and prefer to call them pink parts. Oh yes. That is much better. Get to the good stuff, please.

Andy plays a montage of Tamra and Eddie’s make-out moments, culminating with the infamous bathtub sex scene. Some of Tamra’s drama with Simon is highlighted, and she tells Andy that they are weeks away from having their divorce finalized. Alexis passive aggressively makes a dig about how well Tamra’s children will know Eddie once they see that scene. Not one to shy away from confrontation, Tamra admits that a court order keeps her children from watching Bravo, so “what are you getting at, Alexis?” Alexis tries to hold her own by saying that her four-year-old knows how to use a remote control so it’s possible for Tamra’s kids to see it without her knowledge. I half expected Peggy to jump in to say that her daughter learned how to work a remote control at age two. Still on the attack, Tamra reminds Alexis about how her kids fell into a pool while strapped into their stroller while mommy and daddy were taking shots. So, is she saying they are both up for Mother of the Year? And so it begins…


Vicki and Peggy think that the bathtub scene was a beautiful expression of love (No, no, no. And gag.). When Gretchen tries to add her two cents, Tamra politely reminds her of all the pictures of her spread legs that are available for viewing on the internet, so there’s that whole pot-kettle situation. By politely, I mean the word the ever-classy Tamra uses to refer to Gretchen’s “pink parts” was bleeped out by Bravo. An equal opportunity instigator, Tamra says her feelings were hurt by Alexis and Jim’s relationship with Simon once the Barneys had separated. Alexis counters that she truly believed Tamra was her friend only to watch the season to see Tamra bad-mouthing her at every turn.

Putting Vicki in the hotseat, she gets upset watching her footage from the season. Tamra and Peggy console her while Alexis and Gretchen sit stone-faced. Vicki admits that she wasn’t as passionate about her marriage as she was about her career and that her children, Brianna and Michael, are having a harder time with the divorce than she’d expected. She further reveals that she is dating Brooks Ayers, a Southern father of four, who stays with Eddie when in town visiting. Brianna has apparently “turned on” Vicki and is disrespectful to her mother, especially in regard to her new suitor. Andy then announces that Brooks is coming out to join the ladies on the sofa, and Vicki looks like she’s about to vomit. Hahaha! Lolz! Andy is totally kidding…Brooks isn’t here, only a video interview with Donn. I’m guessing Brooks may have been a more pleasing option for Vicki.

Donn is pretty straightforward and honest in the interview. He says he had no clue about the divorce until he was served with the papers at work, but after watching the season, he can see Vicki pushing him out of her life from the start. Donn brings up Tamra and Eddie and still holds them in high regard, but he questions whether Vicki saw Tamra bouncing back with a fresh, new relationship and wanted the same. Maybe he won’t miss Eddie so much when he learns that he is sometimes housing Donn’s replacement. Tamra gets emotional because she loves and misses Donn too, and Vicki doesn’t deny shutting Donn out of her life. She does inadvertantly answer a math problem I’ve had in my head…how has she gone two years without sex when just last year the couple renewed their vows? She says the night of their renewal vows, they went up to their romantic room where Donn put on his pjs and went to sleep while Vicki cried silently. Fear not though, as finally her love tank is full.

Alexis defends her traditional marriage and her comments about women running for president. She has an entire analogy about her marriage as a rose garden that both she and her husband water so as to grow the most beautiful roses. Um, okay. That still doesn’t explain her subservience or even refer to more traditional marriage…it’s an analogy for any strong relationship in general. Alexis also attempts to set women back a few decades by declaring she would feel less safe and less comfortable with a female President. Gretchen disagrees with her friend, but says it’s a point not worth arguing. The housewives discuss similarities between Simon and Jim. Alexis calls out Peggy for acting surprised that Jim didn’t attend the Tanous’ dinner party, and Peggy admits that Alexis had told her in advance that he wasn’t coming and why. Plus, he had tickets to a Journey concert, and who would miss that?

Andy questions a very defensive Alexis about her finances. She tells him that she and Jim suffered in the bad economy and had to quickly sell their house (I believe the term you’re looking for, Love, is “short sale”). Alexis lets everyone know that everything is fine, and the couple plan on buying their new house with cash. This tidbit has everyone talking, and Tamra reveals Jim’s very shady dealings to transfer the home into a company name and have the company declare bankruptcy so their personal assests would be safe during the foreclosure process. Alexis is notably silent and does not dispute nor correct Tamra’s accusations. On a much needed lighter note, Gretchen briefly discusses her new song “It’s My Revelation” while all the housewives give her props on the tune.

Gretchen gets teary talking about Slade and how proud she is of him admitting to his hard times. She says she is unsure if she even believes in marriage, and Andy pointedly reminds her she was a believer when engaged to the very wealthy Jeff. Gretchen dodges questions about whether she’d marry Slade if he were rich. Moving on to another of Gretchen’s relationships, Andy brings up her on-and-off friendship with Tamra. Gretchen and Tamra hurl insults at one another, with the ladies on their respective sofas backing up everything they say. Tamra claims to have not bad-mouthed Gretchen this season (maybe Tamra and I didn’t watch the same show), while saying that Gretchen’s blog obsesses over her. The girls rant about discuss Gretchen’s evil-eye hat “joke” and Tamra’s retalitory mace “joke” and how each woman believes her own joke was funny while the other’s was hurtful and rude and poorly timed and inappropriate…and ridiculous, if I could add to their conversation.

Part one of the reunion ends with what else? Tamra’s allegations about Gretchen cheating on dying Jeff, of course! Jiminy Cricket, they are never going to let this go…and by they, I kind of mean Bravo. Peggy tries to be the voice of reason, stating that the girls will never agree, never come to resolution regarding this issue, and should not waste their time continuing to argue about it.

On tonight’s conclusion of the reunion, Peggy and Alexis fight over what ended their friendship, as well as Peggy’s prior relationship with Jim, Jeana appears (yet again), and Slade the sixth housewife gets into it with Tamra, causing her to storm off the set. I can’t wait!

Jeff Lewis and Jenni Pulos join Andy in the WWHL clubhouse to promote their fifth season of Flipping Out. Jenni points out that Melissa Gorga should have said “wretch like me” instead of “wench like me” while singing “Amazing Grace” on the evening’s New Jersey Housewives episode. Hilarious. Jeff is definitely not an Ashley fan, nor is he a fan of Teresa’s over the top bathroom. Andy shows a montage of his favorite Jersey castmates…the children, complete with G to the Ia’s runway walk. Jeff reveals that on the new season of Flipping Out, his boyfriend will be introduced and the couple is discussing the possibility of adoption.

A sneak peek of Flipping Out is shown, along with preview clips of Bravo’s fun summer line-up. Returning are old favorites, the Rachel Zoe Project and Millionaire Matchmaker, while new shows are premiering. Mad Fashion follows Project Runway alum (and Sonja Morgan pal) Chris March and his design team. The clip shows the crew doing a full-on reenactment of Jersey’s “prostitution whore” last supper scene, and if that peek is indicative of the season, it’s going to be fab! A cooking competition, Rocco’s Dinner Party, a dating show, Most Eligible: Dallas, and Fashion Hunter’s high-end consignment are all joining the schedule. The night’s game is “Summer Schooled” with Jenni and Jeff answering questions based on the clips. Jeff wins and Jenni ends the show with a Bravowood rap. It seems it’s going to be a very Bravo summer!

Part II of the reunion airs tonight at 9/8c.