Love & Hip Hop Recap: Audis, Auntie’s Advice & Aggravated Assault

Last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop was a hodgepodge of car shopping, conversations with Chrissy’s aunt Cookie and cat fights. Chrissy still struggles with the status of her relationship with Jim, while Yandy introduces an interloper with some awesome hair-pulling skills.

Jim Jones is buying me a car at the Audi dealership looking for his first white car (he lost a bet) and mocking Chrissy’s reaction when she finds out about his new purchase. It is a beautiful car, fit for a hustler. Jim’s words, not mine. His friend promises to get the bleeped ready (after much rewinding I am going to definitively type he said he’d get the “puff puff” ready) so they can christen the car on the ride home. That gorgeous car won’t even be off the lot before it reeks of marijuana.


Chrissy and her new bob meet up with Emily and Teairra to discuss her recent powwow with Kimbella. Chrissy describes the outfit she was wearing for the head-to-head as a cute tee, jeans and heels. Please see last week’s recap for a picture of the aforementioned “cute tee.” Emily really wants to like Kimbella, but she believes she totally gives off a slutty vibe. Everything in Kimbella’s life is a product of her sluttiness according to Emily. Teairra thinks that Kimbella has no clue about the shiz she’s stirring and needs some guidance. However, she also promises to go Detroit “three-one-thrizzle” on the poor girl if she doesn’t take Teairra’s advice.

Chrissy is not happy about Jim’s new ride. She can’t believe that he would make such a big decision without consulting her. Slash, he could have spent that money on an engagement ring. Jim compares his car shopping to Chrissy’s shoe shopping. Chrissy finds that comparison absolutely ridiculous and unfounded. I find it absolutely ridiculous that she recently bought a pair of shoes for $6,000. Double You. Tee. Ach. While she’s not on board with the car, Chrissy is all about helping Jim design his outerwear line because she’s a self-proclaimed slave to fashion.

Yandy is dining with newbie Ericas breasts, a former model and video girl, who wants to foray into music. Erica is not a fan of Kimbella, as she feels that Kimbella is one of the girls who depreciated the video girl image. Um. Okay. Yandy is open to managing Erica’s career, but she wants to insure that Erica isn’t just another pretty face and that she has the talent necessary to make it in this business.

Olivia meets Teairra for lunch. Is she a new cast member? Olivia is concerned that Emily is falling back under Fab’s spell. Olivia is worried that the pair is smashing and Emily is giving everything away for free. While Fab’s flowers at the fashion were a nice gesture, Teairra hopes Emily won’t go back down that path. Olivia is hopeful that Teairra will talk some sense into their friend.

Jim is excited (well, as excited as he gets which always seems to be on the verge of a nap) to see the sample coats that are Chrissy’s vision. She is very impressed with herself and the final product. Chrissy wants to negotiate with Jim for a bigger piece of the pie as well as more control over the design process. Jim can’t seem to wrap his head around why Chrissy gets upset when he calls her his “partner by default.” Man, she can be so sensitive! Chrissy looks to her Aunt Cookie and Uncle Ralph for relationship advice (they are a couple whom she respects). Chrissy has done all she can do to let Jim know she wants to spend her life with him. Cookie truly believes that Jim is scared. I truly believe that Cookie is telling Chrissy what she wants to hear.

Rich approaches Yandy about his frustrations with the fact that Olivia doesn’t have a record deal. Yandy is still adamant that Olivia is too closed off with her material, but she knows Rich has put in a lot of effort and she doesn’t want to see him give up only to have someone else to reap the benefits of his hard work. Yandy’s pep talk seems to do the trick to revitalize Rich.

After her therapy session with Aunt Cookie, Chrissy is ready to turn over a new leaf with some healthy eating. She encourages Jim to seek advice from her Uncle Ralph. Jim doesn’t seem to think he is in need of any type of conversation, but if it means so much to Chrissy, he will begrudgingly do it. This should be entertaining!

Olivia’s cousin Jackie joins Olivia for some cocktails to discuss Olivia’s issues with her mother. Her cousin is very emotional that Olivia is struggling so badly with her relationship with her mom. It seems that Olivia’ mother has no idea how much she hurt her daughter, and she acts oblivious to all of the past problems that caused Olivia such pain. Olivia decides to write her mother a song to express her feelings. Somewhere, Rich is smiling for no reason.

Jim pours some sort of vodka concoction for himself and Uncle Ralph as they begin their “talk.” Jim seems to be opening up more than he expected, and Ralph sheds some light on his niece revealing that Cookie also proposed to him. Jim knows that Chrissy is the one constant in his life that will always support him. He really loves her and he’s starting to realize that perhaps the car meant engagement ring in Chrissy’s eyes.

Kimbella invites Teairra and Yandy to come spend some time at a winery. Teairra relays to Kimbella her conversation with Emily and Chrissy about the difference between being sexy and overtly sexy. Yandy brings Erica to the love fest. This should be good! Teairra is trying to get to know Erica, and when Kimbella follows suit, Erica (no way she’s just twenty-four!) says that oh yes, she knows Kimbella from Miami, but they never hung out because they were on different levels. The wonder of italics! Yandy is a bit embarrassed that she brought the hater and Teairra is confused that someone would be so intense and aggressive if there wasn’t a history between the two women.

Erica won’t even take a breath with her insult hurling, while Teairra begs Yandy to intervene. Kimbella is playing pretty coy, being the bigger person by default. Erica doesn’t even realize that while she’s talking smack about Kimbella’s baby daddy, she’s also talking smack about Yandy’s brother. Erica won’t shut up and Kimbella does the only thing left to do, she throws a drink at her. I love that my new fave Teairra goes running for the hills at this point. Who can blame her? I wouldn’t want wine on my cute outfit either. Yandy tries to break up the now brawling ladies, but they have quite tight grips on each others’ weaves. Kimbella needs to rip off Erica’s solid gold jumpsuit! It takes about five VH1 employees to undue Erica’s death grip on Kimbella’s hair.

Erica, horrified that she is bleeding, calls the police — not because she’s scared — but because she wants revenge. Yandy is beyond disgusted with Erica’s behavior, and Teairra reminds Kimbella that they had just been discussing the importance of keeping in classy. Sidebar, Kimbella’s face looks like she was in a boxing match with a litter of kittens. The ladies high tail it out of the vineyard when they hear sirens approaching.

Next week, Yandy tells Erica that she isn’t her friend and Kimbella realizes which relationships are worth salvaging. She couldn’t care less about Erica, but she hopes to continue making amends with Emily. Chrissy needs a break so she organizes a girls’ trip to Miami… a girls’ trip that is promptly crashed by Jim.