All the talk of Teresa Giudice getting a spinoff seems to be unnecessary as the entire plot of Real Housewives of New Jersey revolves around her. For once I don’t believe Teresa is delusional – I mean, everybody is always talking about her, amirite?

Teresa‘s latest Bravo blog addresses former friend turned stalker/nemesis Caroline Manzo‘s crazy comments about Teresa’s marriage and the passive aggressive comments she believes Kathy Wakile made about her cookbook. Hang on, you’re in for a loooong RHONJ post!

“You’d think by now I’d be used to everyone on the show talking about me non-stop every single episode, but I’ll admit I was shocked by Caroline’s comment about my marriage,” Teresa begins.

“Not because I don’t expect her to say nasty things about me and to constantly judge of me — that’s what she does. To quote Audriana‘s favorite movie right now, The Little Mermaid: ‘It’s what she lives for.’ (Caroline does remind me of Ursula, come to think of it…) What shocked me is her hypocrisy.”


And just why is Caroline a hypocrite? (Yes, that was a rhetorical question).

“On May 6, Caroline wrote in her Bravo blog that me calling MY OWN brother in PRIVATE to talk about his marriage (like we’ve always done our whole lives) was ‘cruel and thoughtless,’ and that talking about anyone’s marriage is a ‘line that should never be crossed.’ Interesting.”

“She should take her own advice. Maybe that she can’t is why she doesn’t have a talk show or write an advice column anymore… What Caroline said about me and Joe [Giudice] I think tells you all you need to know about who she is… (P.S. Read the rest of the Ursula song lyrics though. It’s too funny: ‘Poor unfortunate souls./In pain, in need./This one longing to be thinner./That one wants to get the girl./And do I help them? Yes, indeed.’)”

Admitting her marriage isn’t perfect, Teresa acknowledges Juicy is a little, shall we say… rough around the edges.

“I wish marriage and relationships were always perfect, but we agreed to show our lives on camera, and we’re showing it all. We don’t change for the camera, pretending to be crazy romantic or super supportive of each other all of sudden when people are watching. We’ve always supported each other and we always will, even if we don’t always say the perfect Hallmark thing.”

And pointing to something Juicy actually did right – he supported her when Joey Gorga was blaming her for all the family unrest.

“You could see he wasn’t thrilled to be at the knitting circle clipping coupons and gossiping with the other husbands that night at Chris [Laurita]‘s house, but he showed up to keep the peace. And I’m so proud of him for defending me.”

“It’s sad he has to defend me from my own family though. I have no idea why they’re so bitter and ugly toward us. It was never this way until they got on the show, and now they seem to be hashing out all this teenage angst or something. The fact is we’ve always supported and helped them and never asked for anything in return. I’m glad you all got to see who gave Joey and Richie [Wakile] their starts in real estate: my Joe did.”

Next on the chopping block is Melissa Gorga.

Melissa’s blog last week was also hilarious. She actually wrote my girls were ‘mocking’ her singing. Are you kidding me? Milania said you ‘stink,’ just like she said Joe was an ‘old troll.’ That’s not mocking your singing. We’ve all been so supportive of you, publicly and privately.”

“She writes that she sings in front of the girls all the time, then that they’ve never heard her sing. Which is it?,” Teresa wants to know. Me too!

“I didn’t see her reading my cookbooks… I’ve only seen my family throw them in the trash actually…”

Finally, Teresa addresses Kathy‘s comments at her book signing.

“I’m trying to figure out what would possess her to come to my book signing and suggest the recipes were her mother’s. You can tell she never read the book at all since she points out pizelle cookies which don’t even have a recipe in the book (I use store bought for a quick kid ice cream sandwich dessert).”

“Then she keeps pointing to pictures and saying ‘my mom’s, my mom’s.’ Who does that? I don’t know why she wants people to think our moms are related and somehow I’m using her mom’s recipes.

“Our mothers aren’t related by blood, they didn’t grow up together, and her mom didn’t even grow up with my dad, her brother. And no, we’ve never baked together.”

“I’m also pretty sure my mom’s not the only Italian grandma with a cookie recipe, but my mom’s is the one I use,” Teresa adds.

And Teresa claims Kathy is passive aggressive and calculating, not rainbows and kittens as the Manzos suggest.

“What makes Kathy keep picking at my cooking success though? Is she insecure because she obviously came on my show to launch a new baking career and she thinks people will think she’s stealing from me, so she puts it out there first? I don’t know. I just know that she’s calculated, she’s passive aggressive, and ‘nice’ is NOT her middle name.”

“I’ve told her I want to work with her, I support her, but all I see her doing is pushing bad rumors about me and letting her husband say evil things about me. I don’t know too many nice girls who do that…” Oh, Teresa… she’s not hubristic at all, is she?

Moving on, our source shares EXCLUSIVE details about the on-going Gorgadice feud and once again reiterates that Melissa‘s desire to be famous is a serious part of the family unrest.

Melissa is completely obsessed with her looks. She is becoming a total narcissist. She is never dressed down in normal clothing… or maybe she is but, she never wants the public to see her like that,” our source dishes.

And Melissa has made the make-up chair her second home! I’m pretty sure she did get some lip injections last year. “She is always getting her hair done, makeup done, shopping, etc. This is consuming her whole life.”

Apparently Melissa has taken her cues from sister-in-law Teresa, who learned early on that the character you play on TV is everything! Melissa and Teresa “play this ‘role’ and don’t know when to stop acting. She and Teresa really have taken this stardom to the max! They don’t even know how to just be normal anymore.”

“Stardom has effected Melissa. Melissa and Joe have an overwhelming desire to be famous and make lots of money. When Melissa said ‘everything has a price’ with her husband she is right. Anyone who knows Joe knows that he loves money.”

And sadly, Teresa AND Joey have let their desire for wealth and fame cloud their judgement and their good intentions. “Teresa and Joe are very money hungry individuals. It is interesting because, their parents are not like that. They are simple people who never wanted or had a lavish life.”

Teresa‘s parents just want peace and to enjoy their family. It is true when they say money is the root of all evil. It’s sad. If they would all let their guard down and stop competing with each other, they could have a normal family life. They are all too far in now to get out. ”

I wonder if next season Carole will realize that Melissa is no different from Teresa – then she can start disparaging her as well. Hey, maybe that is what will bring peace to this family – the Gorgadices could come together to battle the Manzos. Oh the drama never stops!

In other Melissa news, the reality star tweeted that she is shooting her first music video. We will definitely be keeping you updated on that trainwreck!