Teen Mom 2 Recap: The Suspense Is Killing Me!


I don't know about you, but I wish the producers of Teen Mom 2 would ban their little starlets from any type of social media and ban them from the tabloids…at least during the season.  I'd be a lot more inclined to root for Jenelle Evans if I didn't know what a train wreck she's become.  Also, I'd be more invested in Leah Messer Simms Calvert's love triangle and Kailyn Lowry's attempt to make Jo jealous if I didn't already know the ending.  As for Chelsea Houska, I'm glad to see that beauty school is going so well…but that's the only surprise of the season!

Kailyn is finished with school for the summer, and she's excited to spend more time with Javi and Isaac.  I'll give it to Javi…he's really great with Isaac.  Of course, she's yet to set up any kind of co-parenting counseling with Jo.  Kailyn is ready for Javi to move in since he's spent every night at her place for months.  Let's break it down…she's ready for Javi to stop freeloading and help with the rent and the cleaning.  Kailyn admits she doesn't want to hold against him the fact that she foots the bill should the two argue.  Again, I find it hilarious (and I know I write this every week!) that she wants a live-in boyfriend, yet Jo's girlfriend can't even be on the same premises as Isaac.  Kailyn is just ready to get married.  At twenty, she isn't getting any younger.  MTV needs a swift kick in the pants for glorifying these girls!


In South Dakota, Chelsea is super stressed about having to move, taking care of her child, and going to school and working.  It's a lot y'all.  She's complaining to her mother about having to move out of her place.  Chelsea whines about wanting to leave South Dakota and Adam and go to school somewhere else.  She wants to explore new horizons.  Chelsea without her family's support is not a Chelsea I think can thrive, but maybe I'm being too hard on her.  She did prove me wrong with her GED.

Jenelle has every excuse in the book why she can't see her son, but finally she's found a really important one…she's busy getting ready for her breast implants.  Mother of the Year!  Once upon a time, I truly had high hopes for Jenelle.  I really, really did.  Not only is Jenelle getting new boobies, she's stuck between a rock and a hard place…Kieffer is staying with her, but Gary keeps calling.  What's a gal to do when she's being wooed by two prince charmings?  After her surgery, Jenelle is sore and whiney.  The ever sympathetic Kieffer smokes a cig and plays on his phone while she moans in pain.  Good times!

Leah can't believe she ever thought Corey was serious about a reconciliation.  As if!  It's okay though, because now she realizes that she really loves Jeremy.  He's going to be dumb enough to go back to her after she's been denied by Corey…we all know this, but I still feel badly for him.  Like a consolation prize, she asks for her ring back and says she wants him to move back into her house.  Jeremy is lonely, but Leah assures him that she's gotten closure with Corey.  Jeremy pulls her engagement ring out of his pocket and poof!  They're back together.  Geez.

Javi, Kailyn, and Isaac are enjoying some outdoor time.  Check your editing, MTV…they are wearing the same things they had on in the first scene, so her chat with her friend about Javi paying bills couldn't have happened between then and now.  Javi has been ready to move in for a while, and he's prepared to take on the financial portion.  He plans to bring all of his stuff over Thursday.  I don't know why I find that so hilarious.


Hanging out with her family, Leah shares her good fortune by finding a guy who is stupid enough to keep coming back to her.  She tells her sister that Jeremy is the one she wanted…especially since Corey wasn't ready to make a commitment.  Is her sister listening to her?  Is she listening to herself?  Basically she's hoping she'll find love with Jeremy since Corey didn't work out like she wanted.  Leah cites her absent father as her reasoning for working so hard to be with Corey. 

At beauty school, Chelsea has a major hair test.  First she gets in trouble for talking, and then she loses her head.  Literally.  Her model head falls off the counter.  While Chelsea is concerned she didn't go a good job, her instructor tells her that she's a natural.  Who would have thought, looking at Chelsea's mane, that she'd excel in hairdressing?  More power to you, girlfriend!


Barbara is helping Jenelle out after her surgery because–NEWSFLASH!–Kieffer isn't being very supportive.  Besides recovering from her giant breasts, Jenelle is worried about making sure that Kieffer doesn't find out that Gary has been texting her.  You have to love that Barbara starts off her visit with nagging.  Gary sends flowers, and Barbara questions Jenelle's roommate about Kieffer's intentions.  Barbara also urges her daughter's roommate to keep Jenelle's pain medications hidden from Kieffer.  Barbara and Jenelle whisper like school girls about how sweet Gary is (man, I love to see them getting along!), and Kieffer isn't a fan of being the odd man out of the equation. 

The twins are so excited to see Jeremy, and I can't believe how cute and chatty they have become.  Across town, Corey shares with his dad that he and Leah are over the back-and-forth.  Corey is still unsure about his feelings, but his dad hopes that keep picking at the proverbial scab that is their relationship.  Perhaps Corey's dad (and camo hat) should replace Dr. Drew on the reunion.


While Jo has Isaac, Kailyn meets with a friend and reveals that Javi is going to move in with her.  She isn't planning on telling Jo of her new living arrangement, and if her finds out, there isn't anything he can do about it.  Is she kidding me?  I want to think that Kailyn has good intentions with Javi, but statements like that make me think she's just trying to get under Jo's skin.  Here's a hint…Jo isn't going to care.  Even worse for Kail?  He'll probably be happy that his son has another good male influence in his life. 

Chelsea is once again looking for a new place to live.  A townhome receives rave reviews from Aubree, her mom, and her classmate.  Chelsea doesn't want to make a decision that involves staying in South Dakota.  Her rent is going to be $1200 a month.  What?  Does her dad want to adopt me? 

Jenelle is staying with her mom after getting into a huge fight with Kieffer over Gary.  Kieffer meets with a friend and complains about being Jenelle's rebound.  I wonder if Jenelle is going to complain about being Kieffer's free place to stay.  Barbara questions Jenelle's fight with Kieffer, and she reveals that he was angry that Gary sent her flowers.  Gary is ready to step up to the plate, and Barbara is thrilled that Gary is still in the picture, although she urges her daughter to take things slow…as if Jenelle knows the meaning of that word when it comes to guys!  We're next treated to a mini-clip of a pre-boob job Jenelle introducing Barbara to her tiny pet lizard.  Barbara hopes that the poor creature isn't one of Jenelle's whims that she's going to let die in a week.  Never!  Jenelle claims it's the perfect pet because it doesn't need any attention.

Javi is bringing his two tiny suitcases to move in with Kailyn.  She's hasn't bothered to empty out any drawers for him.  Their first conversation as roommates has to do with what bills Javi will pay.  She offers him groceries and electric…and she quickly jumps into wedding mode.  Gracious.  Didn't they just meet a few episodes ago?  Meanwhile, Leah and Corey are doing the swap with Jeremy in tow.  It's the first time she's seen Corey since they decided to call it quits.  I feel badly for him that she is rubbing Jeremy in his face until I remember that Corey possibly likes Jeremy more than Leah does.  At her mom's house, Leah and Jeremy discuss what they'll do when their lease ends.  Again, didn't they just move into this house?  She wants to buy a house.  Jeremy thinks that purchasing a home together is a big commitment…yeah, buddy, so is a marriage.  Leah can't imagine being with anyone else (this second, at least), and she'd like to get married in a couple months at the latest.  Bless her heart.


Gary arrives to play nurse to JenelleBarbara and Gary clearly share a mutual admiration, and Gary reminds her (much like her mother does) that Kieffer is just using her for all she does for him.  After a quick discussion, the pair decides to take it slow, although Gary is fully prepared to be her Florence Nightingale for the weekend.  An ultra-whiney Chelsea calls her dad to complain that she doesn't like any of her options.  He wants her to finish school before she moves out of South Dakota.  Who wears the pants in this relationship?  Clearly Chelsea does.  She starts crying and wonders why she has to live somewhere she doesn't totally love.  Seriously?  Welcome to life, little lady.

Next week, Jenelle's love of weed once again comes before Jace which leaves her fighting with BarbaraAdam plans to take Chelsea to court, while Leah and Jeremy talk marriage and home ownership.  Playing house doesn't seem to suit Kailyn and Javi


[Photo Credit: MTV]