On this week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann are packing for the the big surgery to be had in Miami. They’re going over their checklist with all the kids and Sweetie Hughes. I have to say the pair of pink pants that Kim is wearing are quite possibly the tightest pants I’ve seen in a LONG time. Ariana and Brielle are reluctantly listening to Kim bark out orders while wearing headbands that are cute but also not cute. I can’t decide.  It’s like trying to make fetch work – and I’m not feeling it.

Anyway, Kim is excited about her new boobs and tummy even thought the girls reassure her she is beautiful regardless of any enhancing that she wants to get done. Kim’s turning her hernia operation in an episode of Extreme Makeover, but hell, I don’t blame her for knocking out the hernia thing and packing new boobs and a tight tummy in the same punch. She’s certainly efficient! 

Poor little KJ can’t stand to see them leave which I’m happy he’s not completely attached to nannies.  Once they arrive to the hotel, Kim and Kroy get settled and the next morning the surgery jitters really set in. Kim’s sooo nervous and she can’t imagine, you know having real surgery for an actual ailment and not get anything out of it. For the record, when people have surgery, say getting their ACL fixed or a thyroid removed – they usually do get something out of it, like, I don’t know – feeling better or even cured. Not everyone needs new boobs at the end of a hospital stay Kim! Total display of Kim’s vanity on a whole other level. 
Flash to the chaos back at the Biermann house with all the kids.  At least Brielle and Ariana obeyed their parents requests and are spending quality time with the boys.  All of a sudden Jekyll/Hyde (aka KJ) comes out and wants to spit and punch people in the face all day.  Brielle chalks it up to KJ being allowed his freedom of speech, you know, the 3rd amendment.  I cringe as she is applying for college next year. Yikes! 
Meanwhile, Kim has a nervous breakdown in the lobby of Dr. Hochstein’s office thinking that maybe this might not be the best idea.  She wipes away the tears and gains strength to go through with it (we are talking about Kim Zolicak folks.  Did we really believe she would forgo looking good over the possibility of death?). She’s literally signing her life away as part of her pre-surgery prep, which she fully acknowledges she has no clue what the paperwork says. I have to agree with Kim on this point. When I went in for my c-section, I was handed like 30 pages to sign in my gown. Was I suppose to call an attorney and review it at that instance? It’s a strange practice to do practically minutes before surgery and I have no idea how that is legal. 
Kroy wheels her back into their hotel room for recovery a few hours later and Kim is a tad bit out of it.  She’d like a pizza and a snickers STAT! Oh wait, that’s the same old Kim for you.  
She has a FaceTime session with Brielle, Ariana and KJ from her hotel bed.  Kim’s telling them how great she’s gonna look once she gets home and KJ asks about her vagina. I can’t even believe he knows what the hell a vagina is at 2!!! They really need to watch their mouth around these kids (theme of the ENTIRE season! I’m aware!).  Luckily, this long trip has done wonders to keep Brielle from even thinking about getting knocked up in the near future. 
Alas, they are home!  The report card on KJ is no bueno as he only obeys his dad.  Apparently, KJ has been able to spend his entire life with Kroy so they have some attachment issues they need to work on with him once training camp starts for Kroy. Oiy, they’re gonna have their hand full with this one.  We end the episode with Kroy being the ever-doting husband taking incredible care of Kim. Sigh – he’s the best!
Next week, Kim wants to throw a party for Kroy’s comeback to the NFL and invites old friends to surprise him – but will she be able to pull it off?
Recap Author: Bonnie K.
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
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