We start with a debriefing session about the burlesque show Jordanna James put on that included Jazmin Lang as a first-time performer and Dawn as a repeat-hosebag. Dawn, Jazmin’s sister in law, voiced her disgust with the show, making Jazmin cry and Jordanna enraged. Now, Lila, Misty Irwin, Jordanna, Kristin Zettlemoyer, and Jason Perez are gathered to talk about the previous night’s antics. Jordanna still thinks Dawn is just trying to keep little people in a box. Kristin reminds the group that Dawn has a thick skull and never listens to anyone’s perspective. She also claims Dawn a lot of issues being a little person herself, so she projects her bitterness and insecurities onto everyone else. The group proposes a Mardi Gras party to loosen the stick lodged up Dawn’s derriere. Lila reveals to the group that she has a date with an average size guy she met online. She didn’t reveal in her online profile that she’s a little person, but she claims if he has eyes, he’ll be able to figure that mystery out when he meets her.
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Across town, Dawn is Skyping with her boyfriend of 5 years, Keith, who she met at a bar. He works on private yachts (Below Deck crossover story!?) so they only see each other every few months, but Dawn claims the relationship is “effortless.” Keith’s parents don’t accept Dawn because she’s a little person, so she hasn’t seen them in 2 years. Keith says he hopes they get over it “someday.” Dawn wonders how many more issues they’d have if they decide to get married and have children.
Jazmin is at home ironing and preparing to tell her hubby David what a total butt munch his sister is. Jazmin reluctantly brings up the issue of Dawn attacking her after the burlesque show. Dawn said the show was a “joke” and Jazmin says she can’t even face her or look at her now. David gets angry and says he’s going to take care of it because Dawn needs to know that she can’t disrespect his wife. And that’s that.
Kristin and Misty are Mardi Gras shopping. They pick out masks for everyone and some penis beads for Lila. Because if you’re sober and can’t drink, what says Mardi Gras better than a floor-length string of penis beads? Meanwhile, Lila’s getting ready for the first date she’s had since getting sober, which has been about a year. Jazmin comes over to help Lila get ready. Since she doesn’t have her penis beads yet, she settles on a cute little turquoise number. Lila says she’ll have more discretion on this date because she’s not drinking and making bad choices with men anymore. Like good sir Joe Gnoffo, of the full length fur coats.
David visits Dawn to confront her about the issue between her and Jazmin. What’s the drama? He asks. Dawn thinks Jazmin did the burlesque show “out of defiance” to her. Wow! Have a big ego, Dawn? David says it’s unacceptable that Dawn made his wife cry in public over something so ridiculous and this horsesh*t needs to stop. He was so mad, he had to hit the pause button before even confronting Dawn, and now that he’s here Dawn seems to sorta/kinda hear his words. But she has a stupid smirk on her face that says, “Sure…I’ll talk to her” in a mildly frightening way. David says, “Switch to decaf. Do whatever you gotta do. Just calm down!” Gotta love a good sibling smackdown. But from the look on Dawn’s face, I don’t think there’s going to be much calming down going on anytime soon.
Since Jason’s “big reveal” to his parents…that he was moving out (we all know what we thought that big reveal would be about? AmIRight? When is that gonna happen!?), Jason’s taking Dawn apartment hunting. He’s hoping she can bring her pit-bull attitude to the job. When he finds out the the 850-square foot apartment is nearly 3K a month, not to mention the deposit, pay stubs, tax returns, and first born child he’d need to cough up before getting approved, he thinks back to mom’s free homemade cooking and reassesses his options. “I didn’t make my parents cry just to stay home,” he says.
Lila meets her online date, Dan, to paint pottery. He doesn’t freak out that she’s a little person, but she sort of freaks out that he’s only 26 while she’s 36. He’s not a big drinker. Plus 1. He takes her on a pottery painting date though. Minus 1. Lila asks if Dan’s dated a little person before and when he answers “no,” she’s relieved. She’s glad he’s not out there collecting little people “like beanie babies.” Plus 1. Then Dan tells her he’s a busker on the subway, which is basically a street performer. Minus 1. She’s not ready to support his busking ass, so she finishes up her pottery and keeps it movin.
Jordanna’s invites Dawn to lunch to ask who pissed in her Cheerios. Jordanna feels like Dawn shat on Jazmin’s parade, but Dawn reiterates – for the umpteenth time – that little people performers aren’t legit, period. Jordanna asks what Dawn’s deeper issue is here and Dawn cops to the fact that Keith’s family is stressing her out because they won’t accept her. Apparently, Keith’s father wrote him a 5-page email back in the day telling Keith that Dawn comes from a disabled family and would just be a burden on him the rest of his life. Well, that is just stone cold awfulness. Dawn’s parents had brittle bone disease, as does she, but she doesn’t want to let it stop her from having a family. She questions how much longer she can hang in there with Keith despite his parents’ slow drip of haterade. Jordanna says her boyfriend Anthony’s parents weren’t okay with her at first either, but she’s found a way to build a relationship with his mom. Dawn feels hopeful hearing this and the girls hug it out.
It’s the night of the Mardi Gras party! Misty’s secured a private restaurant patio so they can whoop it up without people gawking at them. Lila is presented with her very, very special penis beads. She waves them around in celebration, then proceeds to do things with her mouth and the penis charms that, once we’ve seen, we can never un-see. Eww. Next Misty’s Mardi Gras agenda: Project Get Dawn Wasted. I’m in! The shots are flowin, and Lila’s feeling like an old penis-bead-wearin grandma chaperoning a bunch of wasted kids. Project GDW is going smoothly, as Dawn jumps up on the bar to dance with Jordanna. Lila need not worry about being the resident grandma after witnessing Dawn’s incredible dance moves. Betty White has more current moves. Dawn takes Jazmin aside to let her know that she’s family and will always support her. Jazmin thanks her for the apology, but Dawn makes it clear that she’s not apologizing. So, this is going well! Dawn doesn’t feel like she was negative toward her, nor did she do anything wrong. She says she’ll support Jazmin in what she wants to do and, sweetie that she is, Jazmin makes like Elsa and lets it GO.
The ladies toast while Lila feels more alone & miserable by the moment. She wants a good guy to share her life with and tells Jordanna she’s got a long way to go. Jordanna thinks little people have trouble finding love because they struggle loving themselves. But love it out there! She asks Lila if she loves herself and Lila says nobody hates her more than she hates herself. She ceremoniously rips off the penis necklace, saying she doesn’t want to be the joke of the party anymore. She’s ready for real life. Previews reveal Lila may not be all that ready for sober life though, as Little Women: LA’s Christy McGinity visits to intervene in what looks like an upcoming relapse for Lila.
TELL US: DOES DAWN DESERVE JAZMIN’S FORGIVENESS? IS LILA HEADED FOR A RELAPSE?
Photo Credit: Lifetime