Mike Shouhed Compares Himself To A Unicorn And Says He’d Rather $#*! MJ Javid Than GG Gharachedaghi

Shahs of Sunset Mike Shouhed

It’s Mike Shouhed‘s turn in the hot seat on the Shahs of Sunset after show. The topic of conversation is the reconciliation dinner that Mike arranged – and Jessica Parido ruined – on Shahs of Sunset. Reza Farahan and Asa Soltan Rahmati shared their thoughts on the dinner, as well, and bashed Jessica.

First, Mike bragged about how much gets hit on now that he’s married.

When asked if he and Jessica went into the reconciliation dinner with the same goal, Mike shared, “No. Jessica wanted to be heard and make her point of how they all did wrong to her and me. I wanted us to all come together and sing Kum Ba Yah and be like, ‘It’s fine. I love you. I get it. It happened. How can we fix it?'”


Mike went on to say Jessica “scolded” him when he suggested they “make peace” at dinner. “I allowed Jessica to steer the ship,” he added. “I told her, ‘I’m going to let you be the captain but you better make sure that we get to the f–king destination of success and love and happiness and everything else that we want in life.'”

When asked about the lie detector test Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi took in an attempt to prove Mike tried to sleep with her last year in Turkey, he said, “How many?” Two. “And the first one was?” Inconclusive. “And the second?” She passed. “If the first one comes back negative and the second one comes back positive, doesn’t that wipe each other out?”

Mike continued, “If you don’t have a job and all you do all day is sit around in your onsies and play on the f–king phone and you have half a brain in your head and you know how to use Google, you think you could figure out ways to cheat a lie detector test?”

Does Mike think GG set him up? “I don’t know who did. I’m not making any accusations. I’m upset about it because I was a pawn in someone’s scheme to try to hurt me.”

When asked if he thinks GG has a crush on him, Mike boasted, “I mean, can you blame her? I’m a f–king unicorn. Persian guys look like aliens, usually, like Toucan Sam noses and fat and bald. It’s either you’re f–king stunning as a Persian woman or a Persian man or you’re an alien.”

Mike argued that his past indiscretions shouldn’t be held against him. “I was a dog at one point in my life, but, dude, give me a chance.”

Then, this “mature” and “respectful” Mike added, “If I was going to f–k anyone in Turkey, it’d be MJ. Because I knew it’d be a sure thing, she’s a freak, she’s got tits and ass. Golnesa is like <points to a table>. I’m not into boys or guys or girls that look like boys. None of it makes sense to me.”

Back to the dinner, Mike admitted he regrets giving Jessica control, “I think I should of taken the reigns and kind of controlled the evening, the dinner, and told Jessica to let me handle it because I’m less abrasive.”

Last, Mike addressed Reza‘s claim that Mike flashed a bigger, more expensive ring on Shahs of Sunset than Jessica actually wears today.

“Let me tell you about Reza,” snarked Mike. “Reza drives a E-350. I swear to you, my housekeeper drives the same car. He spends all his money on clothes. I spend my money on real estate and investing and making money.”

Mike continued, “I’ve never been a pretentious guy. I knew what I was going to buy Jessica. I put away for a ring fund and bought the best money could buy in my budget. I would never front like that. Never. Come on, man. If you’re going to make up something at least make up something that’s real.” Huh?

Wow. What a catch. Jessica is a lucky girl. #SoMuchSarcasm


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