Carole Radziwill has decided that this season of Real Housewives Of New York she will “be offended by everything!” How that is any different from other seasons I don’t know, but this week’s offender of her sensibilities is Jules Wainstein!
Carole and Jules had a ‘bonding moment’ over being the two skinniest girls in the room at Dorinda Medley’s bra party, but Carole isn’t buying Jules’ claims that she comes by her thinness naturally! Carole is confused about Jules defense being that she gets her period every day.
“Huh?” wonders Carole. “It’s kind of like hearing a friend you suspect drinks too much say, ‘What? I don’t drink too much, I never even black out.’ Ummm, okay.”
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What Carole is saying is that in her approximation Jules is too skinny, and isn’t being honest about how she got that way. Unlike Carole who “has been underweight” her “entire life.”
“We are two skinny girls in a town lousy with skinny girls,” explains Carole. “Big deal.”
“So is skinny really never bad? I’ll have to disagree…it’s fine until it interferes with normal bodily functions. Red flag.”
“This is the first time I’ve heard the period defense, and I know lots of skinny girls–myself included,” critiques Carole. “I’m used to people commenting on my body, even women I have just met. Yes, I’m a carb junkie. No, I don’t workout. God gave me a nice frame, but he gave me a bunch of other issues. It all evens out. So it wasn’t a surprise that Jules directed our conversation to our bodies. I mean, we weren’t at a medical convention, we’re standing in front of a mirror trying on bras for godsakes, what else is there to do? Hahahaaa…I call her toothpick, she calls me elderly. We’re so funny.”
Although Carole has decided that Jules is a skinny girl who acts like a big boob, “the biggest boob” is Ramona.
“She shouldn’t have repeated gossip she’d heard about John. We’ve have all been hurt by women on the cast repeating gossip they hear or simply nonsense that they make up,” gripes Carole. “There is very little accountability on a “she said/she said” show. So you can say anything you want. (Please refer to last week’s blog.)” Last week’s blog being another scathing diatribe against Luann de Lesseps, the woman who owes Carole an eternity of apologies.
Speaking of eternity, Carole is offended that Jules snarked on her age. Deservedly so.
“But if Ramona is the Double-D of boobs, Jules comes in second at Double C,” asserts Carole. “Thing is, Jules is cute and nice and easy to laugh. She had me at hello, but she lost me somewhere between menopause and mom.”
“I wasn’t even going to mention this because really, who cares? But from here on in I’ve decided I want to be offended…by everything,” says Carole, going down the litany of her castmates offenses and winding up with Jules again, who suffers from “age-shaming Tourettes.”
“What is surprising is that other than her hair flipping she doesn’t seem to be that much younger. We’re not talking different generations here,” reminds Carole (Jules is 34 – so about 4 years older than Carole’s boyfriend Adam). “She’s generally cool on other subjects, so why all the slights about women’s age? Is she insecure about her own age? Or aging?”
“I was going to let it go, honestly, I was. But I see a pattern, because later on in the season she insults my age to my unlined-face. At the time, I thought that was an isolated instance, a momentary lack of self-awareness, a brain-fart,” Carole recalls. “We’ve all had them. Me included. But now I think she has a weird age thing.”
I think CAROLE has a weird age thing, along with a weird weight thing, and it takes two to tango. BUT Jules going for the lowest denominator on the insult chart – age – makes her a jerk.
As for Jules‘ comment that the ladies are the same age as her own mother, Carole disagrees with Jules’ math – which is apparently on par with Jules’ English Literature.
“I suppose I could have been a teen mom. My mom had me when she was eighteen. I would have been 17 when I gave birth to Jules,” averages Carole. “Thing is, Jules couldn’t be my daughter. I would never have raised a daughter who made dumb sexist jokes about women. The same misogynistic crap we hear every day from men. The same misogynistic crap we hear from John in this very episode, first to Bethenny’s face, and then behind Ramona’s back.”
“And menopause, last I checked, is a medical condition that affects two billion women in the world. Is it okay to make light of a medical condition but not a mental health condition? In my opinion, neither is good.” So is Carole gonna comment on her friend Bethenny Frankel calling Jules “special needs”.
Carole concludes her Bravo blog by comparing Jules to the high school ‘cool girls’ and praises her for “bringing back the smoking section” because “smoking is the new black.”
Well tonight RHONY returns and brings its coolness factor with it. Oh wait, no it actually brings Bethenny back, trying to pretend she’s cool by dropping out-dated expressions like ‘on fleek’ and over-using the word ‘c-ck’ because she thinks it makes her relevant. It also brings back John, who awkwardly confronts Bethenny at her birthday party under the pretense of an apology but it seems to go horribly awry.
And finally, Carole confronts her biggest fear: the big ol’ Countess and demands yet another apology for Luann under the guise that Carole is never guilty of any impasse. Then Bethenny invites Jules’ Hamptons home over brunch!
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TELL US – IS JULES A BOOB FOR AGE-SHAMING?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV