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calum

We start this recap with an apology.  I have soooooo fallen out with Celebrity Big Brother.  I’m not saying its ruined my life, or even my week, but my night took a definite turn for the worst.  But I have a job to do, and will try to do it.  #takingonefortheteam

We open the show with the promise of an eviction, then 3 brand new housemates, and then another eviction.  If that wasn’t enough, we then have a vote to put a selection of housemates in the house from hell.  Busy night then….

We join the house as Calum Best wakes up to find Jasmine Waltz next to him in bed.  To be fair, he was asleep when she climbed in, and he is not a happy bunny.  He tells Coleen Nolan, who in turn tells Austin Armacost and Angie Best, and overheard by Jasmine.  Who then goes straight to Calum to ask, and he denies everything.  Just like an awkward game of telephone.  To prove a point, Calum and Jamie O’Hara have an open ogle over Bianca Gasoigne.  Has no one heard of sexual harassment?

Jedward are in the bedroom playing Let’s Pretend.  Today they are pretending to be models.  Now these boys are 25.  They should try to pretend that they’re mature adults and get a job.  And a filter.  I don’t know which is scarier, the fact grown men are doing that, or the fact Nicola McLean is happy to admit that she got pregnant after 3 months of meeting her now husband, by just not taking birth control without actually telling him.  She is so proud of this fact.  Words genuinely fail me.  Just what every relationship is built on.  That ‘non-trust’ a couple can have….

Big Brother arranges a game for nominated housemates, where they are allowed to send 2 letters each to remaining housemates; one containing a reward, and one, a punishment.  They are dished as follows:

Stacy Francis sends Jamie the reward (entertainment from Jedward???  Are we sure???) and punishment goes to Jasmine (3 negative tweets).

speidi

Speidi also sent Jamie their reward (dinner with Jedward- someone’s having a laugh) and Calum a punishment (must wear sandwich board with negative tweets.

Angie sends Bianca the reward (3 nice tweets read to her) and James J the punishment (Jail time).

Austin sent his reward to James J (singing lessons from Stacy) and Jedward the punishment (must eat slop).

Everyone takes their ‘gift’ in good spirit apart from Jasmine, who becomes upset and then annoyed that’s she let people see ‘that she cares what folk think of her’.  I just smell drama.  She blames Big Brother for ruining and playing with her reputation…..erm is that not you that’s done that, going on a TV show and acting a biatch?  Get over it or deal with the consequences

Austin is telling Nicola about a party he attended with Marc Jacobs that marked his first argument with Speidi.  Or that’s what he says.  Spencer Pratt says it didn’t happen.  Austin said it did.  I said, whatever, no one cares.  Anyway….

Everyone is getting their rewards/punishments.  Some both at the same time.  Some it’s hard to tell which is which.  James J is in jail getting his singing lesson.  It’s enough to push anyone over the edge.  Jamie has dinner with Jedward (theirs is slop of course) and then they ‘sing’ at it him.   He must wonder how his life came to this.

Housemates are getting ready for bed.  Stacy finally gets Calum in hers.  Her journey in the house is complete.  Jasmine, Jamie, Nicola and Austin are left up and Jasmine is throwing a diva fit with Big Brother over the tweets.  Well, she blames not having the right alcohol in from Big Brother, but she’s ultimately sulking like a 2 year old.  This culminates in her throwing her mic in a frying pan and putting it on the heat.  Another one that needs to grow up.

angie

Next up, its eviction time…..who’s to go…..Angie is, that’s who.  It’s all very dignified and Angie doesn’t seem too bothered.  Neither does Calum.  Good result all round.  Good eviction interview with no real shockers and Angie wanders off to meditate the memories away.

new housemates

Then we have a bit of a twist.  Housemates are put in the ‘House from Hell’ and are stood behind podiums which is never a good thing.  Emma enters the house with the news that they are being joined by 3 new housemates.  The newbies enter dressed in day of the dead outfits and masks and are revealed to be (self-confessed Queen of Clean) Kim Woodburn, Jessica Cunningham from The Apprentice and Chloe Ferry from Geordie Shore.  I lose my eardrums but a housemate will soon lose more than that.  It’s explained that they must nominate who they consider the dullest housemate.  No consequences are told and I think the housemates believe the fact that its face to face is the worst bit, as the boys see it as an excuse for a bit of banter, not thinking that anything would come of it.   They vote as follows:

Austin votes Stacy

Bianca votes James C

Calum votes James J (as a joke)

Coleen votes Bianca

Speidi votes ‘Ass-tin’

James C votes Jedward

James J votes Calum

Jamie votes Calum (at this point I’m screaming at the TV that they don’t realise what’s going on)

Jasmine votes James C

Jedward votes Austin

Nicola votes Jedward

Stacy delivers the killer nomination of………………………………..Austin.

His face says he’s guessed.  The rest of the housemates…..nothing.  Emma then delivers the news that there are hellish consequences and it’s time to ‘cull the dull’.  She tells Austin that it’s time to leave, and no one quite takes it in.  Calum then shouts that he’ll be going in the side room and it’s not real.  I’m not sure if people just believe Calum or just don’t care, but they all start greeting the newbies and chattering away and no one seems to notice Austin actually leaving.

austin

It’s so Sad!!!!  He is literally turning round to wave and no one pays attention.  It doesn’t get better…..as it’s a surprise eviction, his interview has no best bits, and there is no one waiting for him…..

Absolutely gutted, Austin seems to have become a little more of his old self, and the new housemates are literally nobodies.  Or rather nobody that I want to watch (Ray J, please can we have some money back, I think BB Blew their budget).

We finish the show with the housemates being informed who has been voted to stay in the house of hell.  The 6 housemates chosen to fight for their survival are Coleen, Speidi, James J, Jasmine, Jedward and Stacy.  They are told one housemate will never return to the main house.

Now I’m not sure that the backlash from Austin’s eviction might mean that they re-open the second house and start putting people in there.  A lot of people voted to keep Austin in the house for the first eviction (which costs money) and the fact Big Brother’s tagline is ‘Who goes, you decide’, well, people didn’t.  For now, I may have to throw a Jasmine and sulk.  Or eat cake.  Lots of it……could be a long weekend.

Author: Nicki M.

Photo Credit: Channel 5

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