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Not even Hurricane Matthew could drown my sorrows as I watched last night’s Southern Charm Savannah. I’m really trying here, y’all! For the most part, I like the cast (save a couple). Lyle has some great one-liners, and Hannah Pearson and Happy McCullough seem nice enough. I think I’d like drinking wine with them, right? Then why can’t I get invested in this spin-off? Not even a crossover could help!

Last night’s episode resumes with the cast gathered at that heated dinner party. As Daniel Eicholz continues to school Nelson Lewis on his racial slur, Nelson feigns shock and offense. How dare Daniel quote what he said in his own home? Daniel counters that if Nelson ever hears him say something offensive, he has Daniel’s full permission to call him out on it. Nelson wasn’t being genuinely racist, he just meant the term in an allegorical sense. Allegorical? Happy is in tears, and Azam comes to her defense as he tries to educate Nelson on how his words affect others. Louis is rolling his eyes at Nelson’s ignorance, as Happy recounts how it feels to be the victim of racism because of her relationship with Azam. Lyle McKenzie leads the charge to end the dinner party, as Nelson storms out ahead of the crowd. Is he a racist? HELL DAMN NO!

Catherine Cooper follows Nelson out–she knows he meant no harm, but he needs to learn to hold his tongue. Nelson is grateful for her support. She can sympathize with how the independently wealthy are ostracized by the lower class. He can say what he wants as long as he doesn’t intend it to be derogatory. Catherine is quickly realizing Nelson may be a lost cause. Having flipped the switch, Louis Oswald and Lyle are taking Daniel to task on the front porch for saying he related to Azam. Seriously bro? Louis calls him a whiny kitten as Lyle chastises him for comparing Azam’s experiences with Daniel’s exclusion from a local men’s club. It’s not because he’s Jewish…it’s because he annoys the membership committee. You keep telling yourself that, guys!

The following day, the crew is evacuating Savannah before Hurricane Matthew arrives. Ashley Borders sends her husband and son on to Augusta with a promise to follow behind. First, she needs to meet with Catherine in the park to rehash the evening’s rumors. Catherine apologizes for listening to and perpetuating the gossip surrounding Ashley but cites her hurt feelings in the wake of Ashley’s cheating allegations. The girls hug it out before getting on the road (separately). The guys head to Charlotte to drink through the storm while selling some of Louis’ socks on the side. Matthew coincides with Louis’ Charlotte pop-up sock shop (try saying that three times fast!) debut, so this trip was already planned. As the guys begin the mass exodus, they discuss philosophy, politics, and whose girlfriend gives the most Blow-Pops. Classy, gentlemen!

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Hannah is navigating Catherine and another friend to Atlanta, but a quick call from Louis changes the trio’s course. Charlotte it is! Hannah is a bit excited to be crashing Louis’ “business” trip. She’s always wondered if he’s hocking his sock line in bars.

Ashley is Driving Miss Nelson to Augusta, and he is still reeling from the attack on him at the dinner party. He compares himself to being misunderstood like Trump was with the locker room talk. He also tells Ashley that he showed a great deal of restraint by not reminding Daniel that nobody is perfect. Recognizing that Daniel is “of a different faith,” Nelson made sure not to throw in his face that the only perfect person to have ever walked the earth was Jesus Christ. I really, really, really want Ashley to educate Nelson on religion, but she is so shocked by his comments that, for once, she is speechless. Upon arriving at Ashley’s parents home in Augusta, Nelson quickly hops on the family piano for a snappy rendition of Ode to Joy. See guys, he’s not racist. He is all about uplifting those around him.

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In Charlotte, the guys are using a sock pop-up shop as an excuse to take shots and flirt with pretty patrons. Because Andy Cohen had enough foresight to know that this spin-off was going to need some of the original star power, Shep Rose and a few of his cohorts have also sought refuge in the Queen City. Shep and Louis went full Lou at the Masters one year, and Lyle and Shep once howled at the moon during a Caribbean wedding. They are kindred. Hannah isn’t feeling the full Lou, although she’s happy to see him in his sock-selling element.

Back in Augusta, Ashley cries to her mom about her relationship with Dennis. She is lonely. She can’t catch a break. The only opinions she cares about belong to her mom, dad, and God, and the first two briefly kicked her out of the family when she got pregnant at nineteen. Wow! Izzie looks young to be twenty! After a night of antics in North Carolina, the Savannah crowd is evacuated from their hotel after a pulled fire alarm. The forced wake up call is a good excuse to start some day drinking. Across town, Shep tries to snooze through his alarm as his evacuation pal Austen Kroll facetimes with Chelsea. She’s suffering from FOMO, and I am trying to piece together the timeline of this show as it relates to the original. Has Shep already tried to make-out with Chelsea? Why are Shep and Austen so buddy-buddy?

Over pedicures, Catherine and Hannah check in with Happy who fills them in on the massive flooding brought on by Matthew. Catherine’s oldest sister Anne joins them, and Catherine admits that their parents are foaming at the mouth for one of their three daughters to tie the knot. She jokes that neither she nor her sisters are in any hurry to walk down the aisle. While the girls are pampering themselves, Louis, the self proclaimed “Sock King of the South” is touring a sock factory. He’s recently purchased enough pima cotton to fashion 50.000 pair of socks, beating out the self proclaimed “Sock King of the West” Rob Kardashian.

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On night two of the hurricane party, Southern Charm original and 2.0 are hitting the bowling alley. T-Rav is every bit the bowler you would think he’d be. He hits on Catherine and the pair argues about the correct pronunciation of “Cooper.” She then inundates Thomas with her relationship woes. She loves Lyle very much, but she is terrified of settling down while being fearful of disappointing her family. Plus, it is taking her a hot minute to adjust to living in the same town as Lyle. Catherine is pleasantly surprised to find that Thomas doles out decent advice. Unfortunately, the fun grinds to a halt when the group realizes just how serious Matthew’s wrath is on their city. Louis admits that he wasn’t taking the storm seriously, but everyone now seems to be recognizing the gravity of the situation. Upon returning to Savannah, the friends are faced with downed trees and power outages.

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID YOU LIKE SEEING THE CASTS INTERMINGLING?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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