Even though this is only the third season of Real Housewives of Potomac, the viewers should expect Gizelle Bryant to take issue with the newest Housewife every single year. It happened with Ashley Darby Season 1, Monique Samuels during Season 2, and now Candiace Dillard is caught in the crossfire during Season 3.
Gizelle wasn’t the only one coming for Candiace though. Charrisse Jackson-Jordan– who isn’t even a full-time cast member this season- asked Candiace if her mother paid for her engagement ring during the last episode. Obviously she was trying to stir shit up and she knew exactly what she was doing, but she wouldn’t own it, and Candiace unleashed on her for what Candiace described as a “shady bitch” comment.
Candiace reflected on Charrisse’s shadiness in her Bravo blog post. She confirmed, “My thoughts aligned completely with what came out of my mouth. It was a shady bitch moment — I said what I said! I try not to be quick to anger (operative word: try), so it wasn’t necessary to pop off on Charrisse in that moment. She knew she was reaching when she fixed her mouth to ask about my ring.” Of course she knew. She had to do what she could to earn that Friend of the Housewives paycheck.
Candiace continued, “As a matter of fact, the ONLY thing Chris [Bassett] has ever asked my parents for is my hand in marriage. He was financially comfortable before he met me, and he will continue to provide for us without a handout from anyone.”
And then Candiace shaded Gizelle: “The bottom line is, anyone with a pulse and decent fashion sense (read: everyone but Gizelle) knows that what Charrisse said at cryotherapy was shady as hell: a moment in history that could only be categorized as a moment of the shady bitch variety. True tea. Facts.”
Candiace threatened to unleash Hurricane Candiace, but she insists that we haven’t actually seen that yet. She admitted, “If I’m being honest, what you all saw was closer to Tropical Storm Candiace than Hurricane Candiace. I was laughing at her soggy attempts to be in her feelings and claw at some semblance of relevance.” Charrisse is messy as hell and she still isn’t a full-time cast member this season.
Candiace continued, “I don’t owe these rusty broads anything but a middle finger and the blackest part of my behind. Gizelle and her fair-weather friendships. In five minutes, she’ll be talking cash money sh– about Charrisse, and all be right with the world again.”
And then she really went in on Gizelle: “But since we’re out here requesting apologies all willy nilly and such, allow me to commission a few apologies from Gizelle for her most grossly offensive indiscretions. I am requesting apologies for:
-disrespecting us with a perpetually unblended wig
-the rolls around her neck
-her constant need to subject us to the perils of her Forever 21 fashions
-the unrelenting visual that is her Milk Dud of a sugar daddy, Sherman, holding on for dear life in her “walls”
-the unrelenting visual of said Milk Dud eating that damn strawberry
-for being the tacky, tactless, and just generally the unpleasant person that is Gizelle Bryant. See the full list of infractions in the forward of her science fiction novel due out in 2067 — I’ve already put in my application to ghost read.”
Candiace took a shot at other shot at her costars: “It completely baffles me that women who exist squarely on the dime of their estranged husbands would take issue with, find humor in, or place judgment on my financial favor. Girl, you can’t wipe your ass without your WAS-band’s cheques. You sat back and allowed yourselves to become crippled and incapacitated, thinking you were set for life, but life went ahead and put you on notice that you’ve been set up!” Who could she be referring to? A few names come to mind…
She continued, “So now, instead of being able to provide for yourself, your exes do. Wading through the cesspool of eligible, old bachelor meat, hoping the next ashy milk dud of a man will want to take care of you and your dwindling edges. The gag is, NONE OF THIS IS MY STORY.” Candiace. Does. Not. Play.
She concluded: “Didn’t marry for money — he has his, and I have mine (CHECK). Didn’t have to marry a fugly, loose-scrotum sugar daddy to live in the lap of luxury (CHECK). WELP. Looks like some of you need to spend more time working on your next victim and less time judging me and my coins. We good over here.” Damn. The new Housewife is not taking any time to get acclimated. She is already comfortable and ready to slay.
TELL US- IS CANDIACE A GOOD ADDITION TO REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC? WAS CHARRISSE BEING SHADY WHEN SHE ASKED IF CANDIACE’S MOM PAID FOR THE ENGAGEMENT RING?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]