The long holiday weekend is over. Shall we celebrate by dissecting some entitled young people screaming at each other? I say yes! Let’s dig into this week’s Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant recap, followed by Teen Mom 2 highlights from last night’s episode.
Kayla Sessler: Kayla is excited to start college. She has a new love interest ‘she be textin’. Why do I think perhaps she’ll be taking remedial English as one of her first classes?
Brianna Jaramillo: Brianna has all kinds of time to hang out with friends now that Danae is out of the picture. Who has the baby? All kinds of time with a little baby at home, don’t you have to take care of him? Also, does Victoria Secret have a sponsorship with these girls? And did she cut the shoulder out of that sweatshirt or do you now pay $60 for one that is cut up? Sorry about that, my grandmother’s voice somehow traveled 400 miles to take over my mind for a second there.
Jade Cline: It is 3 weeks since Sean was kicked out of the apartment. He takes the baby for the night. The next day they meet up and decide to live together without being together. Semantics matter.
Lexi Tatman: Lexi is going out with friends. One of these girls’ names is Kiersha? She shoves her promise ring into Lexi’s face. The other girl, who I didn’t even see a name for, also presents a ring and rubs a little more salt into Lexi’s wounds. Here’s the thing, I’ve never known someone with a promise ring to actually end up marrying the guy who gave it to her. These girls think they have life all figured out though and they are rather enjoying being ‘superior’ to Lexi. They are not superior to her. Also, I hated promise rings before this and they did nothing to redeem them.
Ashley Jones: Bar’s brother is in jail. Shen is going to come as the whole family is anxious for his trial date and to find out his fate. Ashley is going to try to deal with Shen and let her see the baby.
Brianna: Brianna also has a new love interest. She flirts with him. He seems barely awake.
Kayla: Stephan reached out for the first time since losing his sanity on her mother. She has him over again without her mom home. WHAT?! Stephan is a trainwreck of a person but Kayla is just a spoiled brat. They fight again. The way he reacts must indicate the substance he is abusing. I don’t know enough about such things to have an educated guess, but I bet an addictions counselor could peg it from the footage. And Miss Kayla knows what she is doing. She taunts him with her social media to get reactions and then plays all shocked when he yells. We all know he’s unstable, so this whole thing is gross, borderline abusive, and they need to be putting the baby above this relationship.
Jade: Sean is back on the couch. They are going to try counseling.
Ashley: Ashley meets her mom. She got a job. Her mom has reservations about Bar. Her mom also has reservations about Shen and meddles with Ashley’s mindset to be an adult and give her a chance.
Lexi: Lexi bugs Kyler about being together. AGAIN?! Really? He finally says yes.
Kayla: Kayla tells her mom about her classes and Stephan. News flash, she and Stephan are still mad at each other. Um, I’m still mad at both of you too.
Brianna: Brianna is sitting on the couch making a bottle with very unwashed hair. Her mom comes in lugging a box of diapers. Mom teases her about having a hickey on her neck but advises she take it slow and not get too serious with anyone new.
Jade: Jade and Sean head off to counseling. Sean cries. He does seem to have a big heart and to really truly care about her. Jade seems really over the relationship though, and I give her some credit for trying knowing he is her partner for parenting but they can’t salvage a romantic relationship.
Lexi: Lexi tells her mom she and Kyler are back together. She pumps in the car. It’s a mom rite of passage so good for her.
Ashley: Ashley is going to work. She is having second thoughts about Shen coming to their house. They get in the car and that car seat is moving way too much, it can’t be properly installed. She tells Bar at the last minute she doesn’t want his mom at their house.
Teen Mom 2
Again, the recap starts with Young and Pregnant but I know everyone is also so invested in these TM2 girls we can’t ignore them right?
In TM2 land we (finally) made it out of the hallway. We also appear to be done with the reunion episodes. What a relief.
Kailyn Lowry: Kail is over Javi and apparently unbothered by anyone he dates -especially Bri. Ok? Were the last two episodes just a fever dream then? She also claims to have kept herself together for this reunion and Jo jokes they might have to change the name to Adult Mom. Haha, slow your roll buddy, and wait for the footage.
Leah Messer: Leah and Jeremy are going trick or treating together. She tells her friend (who I don’t think we’ve ever seen before) that the reunion was a mess so she hung out with her hairstylist. Way to avoid that hallway of horrors!
Briana DeJesus: Javi apparently asks about Briana’s kids more than their fathers. Great, just great.
Chelsea Houska: Chelsea announces to the world that she is off birth control and has an app and ovulation tests. Honestly, she is just a little too open with her film crew and knowing this is going out to all of us. And I guess since she’s telling everyone else it’s no big deal that Aubree is right there in the room hearing all of this too.
Jenelle Evans: Jenelle is still mad at Barb and Nathan but she did get those dreadful little braids out of her hair. She met with Jace’s therapist and everything is Barb’s fault. During a call with David, Jenelle mentions all kinds of upcoming therapy. We also learn that David apparently reassures Jace by saying ‘you know I would never hurt you’, um what pray-tell prompts that phrasing? His temper? The raging way he storms around? Punching holes in walls and doors? I could go on but I won’t…
Briana: Javi is hanging out with Briana and her girls. They play happy family and for a minute Bri can see a future – not just a ploy to get them both a storyline and more camera time.
Kailyn: Jo’s family is trying to use their ‘fame’ for some good to raise money for Puerto Rico. Which is great. Someone should. But we also get our first introduction to ‘Daddy Dom’ -I’m with Jo, I just don’t think I can get used to that.
Leah: Leah is prepping the girls for Halloween. The twins fight over a book, which leads to Ali falling and Leah freaking out and yelling at Gracie. She threatens to call her dad, and actually does while Grace has a temper tantrum. Here’s the thing, Aleeah treats Ali like an equal. She wasn’t gentle but this one was a true mistake. I get why Leah reacted that way but I think she is really hard on Aleeah and could have just said you need to be gentle and they could have de-escalated the situation rather than having a big meltdown.
Jenelle: Jenelle calls 911 to say her mom is hitting Jace. The police go to check. Jenelle is concerned and plans to take her mom back to court. I don’t want to be negative here but poor Jace just doesn’t stand a chance. He knows what to say to rile the other one up and he pits Jenelle and Barb against each other because he’s smart. But he’s the child. They are the adults who fall for this all the time.
Chelsea: Chelsea is going back to see a lawyer. Ugh, I should have been a child custody lawyer, whoever has these girls as clients must enjoy their second house and boat.
Now that You’re Really Paying Attention
Kailyn: In Kail-land they are prepping for the fundraiser. 2.5 lesbians and Jo and Vee. Baby Lux has no father on his birth certificate so they all have to chip in.
Briana: Briana continues playing happy family with Javi. She pawns of caring for her children on him. As she is getting ready for their date her sister comes in and yells at him. Then her mom questions his intentions.
Leah: Leah goes trick or treating with the girls and Jeremy. If Leah ever took time with her life to think through decisions she’d be far happier. She clearly still likes Jeremy and it’s just too bad they’ve been married and divorced already.
Chelsea: Adam is also spending time with lawyers as he is taking Chelsea back to court to reduce child support.
Jenelle: Barb, of course, has a different account of the events prompting the 911 call. Jace sounds out of control already. The whole thing makes me really stressed.
Briana: Briana and Javi go out on their date. She flirts by chewing with her mouth open.
Kailyn: Kail and Dom head back home from the fundraiser. Kail clearly likes Dom and she flirts but we aren’t certain if the relationship is confirmed to whoever texted.
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S TEEN MOM EPISODES?
Recap Author: Jeannie S.
Photo Credit: MTV