A lot happened last night on Southern Charm. Beers were brewed, confrontations were had, splints were worn, and T-Rav is still looking at Kathryn Dennis in a way he’ll never look at what’s-her-name. However, none of that matters. The only thing I picked up from last night’s episode was that Kathryn and Shep Rose have had a pattern of hooking up since Kensie’s birth. WHAT?? I thought this was a manufactured storyline, but hearing their admission, I’m here for it. Sure, there is no potential for anything long-term, but girl, you do you.
As always, the episode begins as the charmers are prepping for their day. Austen Kroll is picked up by Craig Conover who has a bionic hand thanks to his butter knife situation from a few weeks ago. The duo heads to Greenville (my hometown, sorry, but I love this stuff!) to get ready for the tasting of Austen’s new beer. Austen shares with Craig that Victoria isn’t ready to party with Chelsea Meissner after Naomie Olindo’s Hilton Head Island Instagram story. Yes, we’re still talking about it, and yes, I’m confused as to why so much breath has been wasted on it. Victoria still feels threatened…by her friend…who introduced her to Austen….when said friend was dating him first. Weird how that works, right?
Meanwhile, Naomie and Chelsea are walking their dogs on the beach with Naomie sporting a Glad bag on her ankle boot. They joke about Naomie’s Insta stories…but not the one that divided Austen and Victoria. Apparently, Naomie worked overtime to snap pics of a very happy Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn at Saint’s birthday party in hopes that T-Rav’s side piece would take offense. I’m not going to lie, I’m here for the shade! Naomie reveals that Kathryn is keeping it together after Kensie accidentally called her mother “Ashley.” Chelsea hopes that the crew won’t have to deal with Ashley much longer. Discussing Chelsea’s rift with Austen, Chelsea admits that it is hard to spend time with him knowing he’s with Victoria. If she could just find a perfectly hot mate, it may be easier.
Austen and Craig arrive at Thomas Creek in Greenville to taste test Austen’s masterpiece. It’s grapefruit forward on the nose. Craig could drink it like Coors Light, so it’s a best seller. Yellow fruit trumps orange fruit, in beer and in politics. Craig is hoping his college beer palette will finally to cower to craft brews. It’s not working, but by goodness, he’s making every effort! Austen is excited to take his baby hops back to the Lowcountry to share with his friends. In Charleston, Cameran Eubanks is back in the fray after giving birth to baby Palmer. She’s navigating the neighbors’ dog Elvis while hoping that Palmer stays asleep. Her sweet mother, an etiquette/modeling teacher arrives, spilling overs with trinkets from the Eubanks ancestors of yore. Maybe her mom should save these items for Cam’s second child…except Cameran is one and done in the baby category. Cameran lives for these restful moments. She confides in her mother that she is producing far too much milk for her daughter. Boobs are leaking, and it’s cramping her ability to leave the home. Her mother jokes that Palmer will inherit husband Jason’s sunshine personality, but if she takes after Cameran payback will be a bitch–and Cameran’s mom is here for that!
Kathryn meets Craig at Vintage Coffee on Coleman Boulevard, and they giggle about Craig’s bionic arm. Kathryn has settled into work at Gwynn’s and she is crushing it. She shares that T-Rav is texting poems to her that infer that Kathryn is thriving while another lady in his life is flailing. Kathryn and Craig are impressed with Thomas’ grasp of early-century literature, and they can both deduce the symbolism in his message. Craig is shocked Ashley is still around.
Aren’t we all? Over caffeine, the pair rehashes Ashley’s motives. Kathryn understands why Ashley moved across the country, but she also cites T-Rav as a frugal m-effer which won’t bode well for a gold digger. At some point, Thomas is going to get bored, and Ashley will realize her meal ticket is dwindling. Craig concurs. He figures Ashley must be a special kind of crazy to have stuck around this long.
Speaking of, while Ashley is visiting her family in California, Thomas is struggling with all facets of his relationship. Is Ashley just intimidated? Why can’t she be cool with him forging a co-parenting relationship with the mother of his children? How can he make amends? Let’s go jewelry shopping and bring along Whitney Sudler-Smith! He’s sure to help his friend by giving sincere, sage advice that doesn’t contain even trace amounts of sarcasm. This could be the greatest reality television decision ever made. Whitney is concerned when Thomas suggests buying matching Ravenel crest rings to his new flavor. It’s obvious that T-Rav is trying to everything in his power to side-step a proposal, but Whitney is skeptical and cuts to the chase. Either T-Rav proposes or he cuts bait. It’s that simple. No promise ring required.
Craig loves fabric and sewing and making things awkward, so he heads to a local swatch factory to indulge in his inability to design a pillow for Patricia Altschul’s home decor line. The fabric lady is not impressed. Sure, his idea is great for Myrtle Beach, but this is Charleston. He needs to step up his game. Craig cries foul about his robotic arm, but his excuses won’t recuse him from actually doing something great. His ideas are less than couture, but his sewing mentor finally caves. Pooches and pineapples is going to be a thing–Craig’s thing. She is on board because she has no other choice. Craig’s pillow is IKEA when it needs to be Chanel.
After Shep’s knee surgery, he’s trying his hand at bowling with Kathryn. A knee brace and two pitchers of beer is all he needs. Again, the producers are treating us to a faux Shep/Kathryn love story. They are good enough friends that the loyal viewers are insulted by this creation. They have good sex. They are good-looking. Neither thinks those two items are enough to do anything more than be pals. Between strikes, Kathryn divulges that she has a dream about Shep. It wasn’t a sex dream, so all is good. They can order cheese sticks and keep on bowling. Not even Andy Cohen can convince us that this pair will eventually get together, but holy shiz I was shocked to learn they’d hooked up after Kensie was born. What a slap in the face to T-Rav, who certainly deserves it!
Austen welcomes one of his most platonic girlfriends from college. They reminisce over cheap champagne and orange juice while she lords over his flannel shirt collection. His friend can’t wait to meet
judge Chelsea. Austen fills his pal in on the drama between Chelsea and Victoria. His only true love at this point is his new IPA. Across town, Ashley is back in Charleston and is sparring with T-Rav more than before her family vacay. Thomas hopes they can work through this, but his patience is as thin as his hairline. At the bar, Austen is planning for his brew introduction. He’s very stressed, but he’s got chalk, so… With the weird vibe circling Chelsea and Austen, Chelsea is nervous about the night ahead. She’s fine with Austen and Victoria, but she’s also not above breaking down at the thought her of former love with her former bestie. It’s telling that Chelsea hasn’t spoken to Victoria in months yet Victoria was such a proponent of girl code.
It’s the evening of Austen’s beer launch party, and all of his family and friends are in attendance, each with their own bit of advice for his professional and romantic life. He’s actually relieved when Danni Baird, Naomie, and
Boss Hogg J.D. Madison arrive so he can mingle like a college student. He’s overwhelmed by Chelsea’s arrival, complete with a side-kiss-and-straddle. If Victoria is already at this fete, she’s going to be a bit disappointed by the welcome Chelsea receives from Austen’s family. They love her…maybe more than they love him. Is it that hard though? Chelsea provides Austen the seal of approval on his new beer as T-Rav arrives with Ashley. Automatically, sides are drawn. Ashley is having a hard time fitting in with the charmers given her recent behavior.
When Kathryn arrives, Ashley is shooting daggers with her eyes…I shouldn’t know that given the dark nature of her sunglasses, but her hatred permeates. Thomas is also staring at his former flame, but it is with pure adoration. Kathryn and her girlfriends avoid Ashley at all costs while Austen works the crowd. Craig questions whether Ashley and Kathryn have made amends since Hilton Head, and Ashley deadpans, “Who is Kathryn?” to him before coddling T-Rav for effect. Thomas prods Ashley to play nice with Kathryn, and Ashley confides in Craig that her relationship with T-Rav has been rocky of late. He asserts that he’s not surprised. It sounds like T-Rav’s M.O. Ashley is willing to do whatever to make things right with her beau. Sew that admission on a pillow!
The charmers converge on Austen’s event, and everyone is on the fence as to whether it’s a decent beer. Whitney spits it out, but he’s totally joking…maybe. Shep overindulges when discussing his bowling night-out with Kathryn. While his chatter is all in good fun, Kathryn can’t help but search the crowd for T-Rav and his banshee. J.D., Thomas, and Ashley share an awkward exchange about Ashley’s upcoming 33rd birthday. She concedes that she might be too old for her sugar daddy. Shep consoles Kathryn, stating that she should be happy Ashley is steering clear of manufacturing drama. I’m not all in for a Shep-Kathryn romance, but I’m totally here for him being completely supportive of his friend. It’s honest and heartfelt, and it’s why I love Shep despite his faults…even if he is trying to get into her pants. He’s not. It’s just good television. They are friends. Hahaha!
Austen toasts his beer baby, and immediately Victoria is on the defensive. Her friends are leaving, and Victoria doesn’t want to be left alone with Austen’s brethren. As Victoria tries to mingle with Kathryn and Naomie (unsuccessfully, I might add), Chelsea takes it upon herself to approach her former BFF to dispel any negativity between them. Wait, what? If they were ever as good of friends as Victoria has claimed, this ridiculous conversation would be moot. Chelsea approaches Victoria to opine the “I’m happy you’re happy, and if I’m crossing friendship boundaries (in your mind), I’ll stop” conversation. Victoria and her fedora are not receptive. Victoria accuses her friend of distancing herself from her but not from her boyfriend. Chelsea is honest in the fact that her friendship with Austen may be uncomfortable for Victoria. Victoria is all about calling out the boundaries that Chelsea has crossed. Chelsea just wants to move past Victoria for another sip of Austen’s beer.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? IS VICTORIA OVERREACTING? SHOULD SHEP AND KATHRYN BE MORE THAN FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]