Below Deck Mediterranean Season 9, Premiere Recap: Do You Know the Way to Find Rosé?

Photo Credit: Fred Jagueneau/Bravo via Getty Images

Welcome to the Below Deck Mediterranean Season 9 premiere! In this week’s episode, called “My Big Fat Greek Yacht Emergency,” a brand new crew led by Captain Sandy has less than a day to whip the messy Mustique into shape before the first charter guests arrive. A “massive provisioning f*ckup” means no wine, prosecco, or champagne is delivered. And when the guests want a late-night snack, Elena decides to wake the chef to cook for them. Here are some of the highlights from Below Deck Mediterranean Season 9, Episode 1.

A prosecco problem

Photo Credit: Fred Jagueneau/Bravo

Once the crew has settled in, it’s right to work. The first charter guests are due in less than 24 hours, and the boat’s a freaking mess. Sadly, Aesha’s interior crew is one person short because one of the crew cabins has a leak. Until that leak is fixed, there’s nowhere for another stew to sleep. Sandy hopes to get it fixed sometime during the season, but for now, Aesha will just have to do her best with two stews.

After provisions are delivered, Aesha realizes she didn’t get any wine, prosecco, or champagne. “Where the f*ck is my rosé?”

She calls the provisioner, who says it will be delivered tomorrow. It had better be early, cause there’s a charter boarding at noon.

The next morning, Aesha texts and asks when she can expect the rest of her supplies. The provisioner messages back, “Sorry about the delay. We ran into some issues. Hoping to have your order there by 11:45.” Yikes! That’s cutting it close.

Luckily, Aesha located one bottle of champagne in the crew mess, but that won’t last long. What a sh*t show!

When the guests arrive, they get one glass of champagne apiece. But then Aesha explains, “Full Disclosure. We have had a massive provisioning f*ckup. So that’s the last of the champagne ’cause none arrived.”

“Stop!” says one unbelieving guest. These people paid a ton of cash for their two-day trip. I’d be unhappy, too.

“Is there rosé?” asks another guest hopefully.

“No, it didn’t arrive,” Aesha apologizes. “I can make cocktails. I’ve been on the phone to them all morning. It’s coming as soon as possible.”

Sandy steps in

Photo Credit: Bravo Media

Out of desperation, Aesha goes to Sandy for help. The captain texts the provisioner, “This is Sandy from the Mustique. We’re missing wine from our order? Can we get this delivered immediately?!”

She gets a response back, “We will send some alcohol immediately as a small order. The rest will arrive with the larger provision order coming later.”

Eventually, a truck arrives with some champagne but not much else. “No rosé, no red wine,” Aesha laments.

At the same time, Sandy gets a text, “We unfortunately were not able to source rosé/wine on short notice, but we were able to send champagne, and more will come later.”

Sandy texts back, “This is unacceptable.”

Seriously? A yacht provisioner who doesn’t have a stock of rosé and red wine on hand? That’s crazy. According to mythology, the Greek god Dionysus is the one who invented wine. You would think they’d be able to lay their hands on some red wine in Greece.

Finally, the provisioner calls and says he can bring the wine to them around 7:30 via water taxi, as they should be at anchor by then. At least that should be in time for dinner.

The provisioner procrastinates

Photo Credit: Fred Jagueneau/Bravo

As the guests prepare for dinner, Aesha makes another call to the provisioner. It’s 8:00 pm, and their supplies still haven’t been delivered.

“Unfortunately, your items were delivered to the wrong water taxi,” he tells her. “But I have everything now, and it’s coming to you in an hour.” Wow. Who are these guys? So unprofessional!

“Who’s been in charge of this?” Aesha asks in frustration. “Tell them that they f*cking suck!”

But then she adds, “I appreciate you trying to rectify it for me.” I don’t know if I could be so nice under the same circumstances.

In the kitchen, Chef Jono gets the message that provisions won’t be arriving until 9:00. His dinner is scheduled for 9:00 pm, and the guests are expecting surf and turf, but he doesn’t have any lobster. He flips through his recipe notebook and decides he can do crab.

Just as the guests are asking if the other wines have arrived, Sandy gets a text from the provisioner: “A water taxi is inbound with your provisions. They will arrive in under 10 minutes.” Hooray!

At the table, the guests love the ceviche Jono prepared. “Half of the provisions didn’t arrive,” says one, “but it’s exactly what we wanted.” They all agree that the chef is good.

When the supplies finally arrive, Sandy realizes, “There’s no red wine. Oh, hell no!”

“Considering how badly this provision company messed up,” Sandy continues, “we’re gonna have to make some changes after this charter.”

Even though they’re annoyed at having no wine to go with dinner, the guests are impressed with Chef Jono. “You’ve got yourself a good chef,” they say.

“He’s so calm!” Aesha says in a confessional. “I’m crying in the dining room, and he’s just, like, ‘Namaste.’”

Bri’s the new Barbie

Photo Credit: Fred Jagueneau/Bravo

Bri says she always had a maid growing up. Now working in housekeeping, she realizes she “definitely didn’t respect her as I should have.” She’s having a hard time figuring out how to steam the guests’ clothes. Is Bri the BDM Barbie Pasqual?

She spends all afternoon fussing with the iron, but when they’re ready to dress for dinner, only one guest seems to have any clothes. They’re really nice about it, even though they’re rightfully annoyed. Aesha jumps in to help her.

Bri’s also struggling in the cabins. She spent all afternoon steaming clothes in the laundry room and then was sloppy with the guest cabins. Elena tells her not to worry. It’s the first day, and they’ll do some training together.

“Bri says that she’s worked on boats before,” Elena interviews. “Questionable. Sorry, you can’t have dead weight ’cause we’re already giving 110% as it is.” Didn’t Bri say in a confessional that she’s never finished a season on a boat? That might explain it.

A cheesy situation

Photo Credit: Fred Jagueneau/Bravo

After sending Bri off to bed, Aesha texts the provisioner one more time. “My red wine was not delivered,” she says. “I need it to come in the morning. This is not acceptable.”

As she’s helping Elena at the bar, the provisioner responds, “Apologies. Looks like we forgot the wine and reposado. Will get it to you by 11:00 am.” I’m not gonna hold my breath.

Aesha leaves Elena at 11:35 to go to bed since she has to be up early for breakfast. When Elena carries up a pitcher of margaritas, someone else asks for a mojito. Also, they want late-night munchies: grilled cheese, mac and cheese, and nachos. It’s 12:30, and she’s all alone in service. This is where she should have drawn the line and said, “I’ll bring you some chips.”

Elena’s overwhelmed and decides to wake Cheffie, who just went to bed. When she tiptoes into his cabin and whispers that the guests want food, he says, “I don’t think so.”

The guests wonder where the food and mojitos are. Elena finally explains that she’s the only one up and doing the best she can. After running around in circles, she decides to try to wake the chef again.

“Jono’s selfish behavior is making me look me look bad,” she says.

Again, she tries to get Chef to come make grilled cheese, but he responds, “I’m not doing anything. I haven’t slept enough.”

In an interview, he says, “Bitch, are you stupid? This is not going to be good for you.” Oh honey no, this isn’t going to be good for you.

Below Deck Mediterranean airs Mondays at 9/8c on Bravo.