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Below Deck Mediterranean

Below Deck Mediterranean - Chef Mila Kolomeitseva

On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean Chef Mila Kolomeitseva continued to be like a nuke in the ocean. And no one likes nukes for dinner — or anywhere else for that matter!

Here in the beautiful, balmy waters of the French Rivera it’s just your typical family dinner: throw a few TV dinners in the microwave and chow down while watching the sunset on the main deck. At least according to Mila. After first making barf nachos that look like they came from a gas station, Mila mistimed the cooking of the main course steak and figures why not nuke them for a minute or two.

Being a Russian Mila is immune to radiation poisoning, so she puts her face right up to the doors to watch them cook second by second, before dumping them on a plate and ordering Anastasia Surmava to “Go” deliver them. Hannah Ferrier is appalled, alarmed, in a right strop – a full spectrum of emotions over what she just witnessed. Actually of that is an understatement. Hannah was actually shocked into silence carrying these plates of radiation ribeye.

Mila

If Mila Kolomeitseva didn’t make a terrible first impression on last week’s episode of Below Deck Mediterranean, tonight’s episode will not be any better. Yes, it does get worse than licking guests’ steaks and putting them in the microwave.

Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier criticizes Mila’s cooking prowess, which isn’t at-all-surprising, but very much warranted. This is especially true since Mila can’t even slice ham (for some reason) during tonight’s episode. Instead, Captain Sandy Yawn comes to her rescue. However, Mila is even worse outside of the kitchen. Yes, that’s possible.

Below Deck Mediterranean’s Brooke Laughten Denies She Cheated on Joao Franco

Did she, or didn’t she? Below Deck Mediterranean premiered this week and everyone’s favorite Zimbabwean João Franco is already playing the woe -is- me card.

According to João his lady love Kasey Cohen Brooke Laughton broke his heart by cheating on him.  Or, is that just what he wants us to believe?

Captain Sandy Yawn Shares Her Thoughts On Chef Mila Kolomeitseva’s Homophobic Comments

How great is it to finally have Below Deck Mediterranean back for Season 4? The wait between seasons is too long! As many of last season’s crew is back–Captain Sandy Yawn, chief stewardess Hannah Ferrier, newly promoted bosun Joao Franco and everyone’s favorite deckhand, Colin Macy-O’Toole, this week’s premiere episode was like catching up with old friends. Or enemies, depending on how you felt about Season 3! Except for Colin-who doesn’t love Colin?

Most of the drama of the first episode centered around the culinary skills–or the lack of said skills–of new cast member, chef Mila Kolomeitseva. Who can’t even seem to make a simple taco correctly! Although Mila is not off to a great culinary start, an on-camera homophobic comment she made as seen in the show’s previews might be more controversial than her questionable cooking skills. And as you can imagine, Captain Sandy has some thoughts about Mila’s judgmental declaration.

Josiah

Josiah Carter might be the perfect man. Trained butler, check. British accent, check. Loves his mama, check. The Below Deck yachtie also made quite an impression on our High Priestess of Snark, Kate Chastain as well. And that’s no easy challenge, right Caroline Bedol? During his season, fans watched as Josiah navigated through horrible drunken guests. We saw him rise above petty crew members. Josiah also confronted bullying issues he had during his youth. And then there was… the Gold Speedo. Shhhh, I think I hear angels singing behind me.

Anygoldendaddy, after he toured Tahiti under silver fox, Captain Lee Rosbach, Josiah found himself watching, Below Deck Mediterranean. Josiah discovered something to like in Captain Sandy Yawn and the rest of the cast. Sounds like my favorite the second stew might want to continue his journey, but with different scenery this time.

Below Deck Mediterranean Season 4 - Captain Sandy Yawn

The casting team went overboard for season 4 of Below Deck Mediterranean. They combed the globe hoping to find the most incomprehensible accents and ridiculous people possible. I say, they succeeded, because last night the craziest, most outrageous, most shocking thing ever happened when it came to what new chef Mila Kolomeitseva served for dinner!

This season is taking place in the south of France, which is the place both Captain Sandy Yawn and Hannah Ferrier consider the birth of their yachting career. Something tells me the French government only allowed them in with exit visas already issued… Helping Sandy and Hannah terrorize the cobalt blue waters of a country known for its class and culinary sophistication is Joao Franco, newly returned from relationship rehab (I kid) and promoted to boson.

Below Deck Mediterranean Returns For Season 4 Tonight

Finally! Below Deck Mediterranean is back for a new season. It all begins tonight! OG cast member Hannah Ferrier is back as Chief Stew, of course. Will she be super focused on getting her tasks done? She never has been, but she’s always made for some good TV. There’s no doubt she will continue to provide polarizing entertainment in Season 4.

At the helm is Captain Sandy Yawn of course. After his Season 3 love triangle, Joao Franco is back hoping for his shot at a redemption season. And after getting virtually no screen time last year, Colin Macy-O’Toole returns. Maybe we will get to know more about him this time around.

Captain Sandy Yawn Leah Shafer

Fans have watched Captain Sandy Yawn navigate through the rough seas of boat flings with her crew on Below Deck Mediterranean. It was not the epitome of courtship when Hannah Ferrier whined about cigs to Conrad Empson. The same applies to Malia White and her non-Harlequin romance with onion lover Chef Adam Glick and/or the deck crew. Being crammed together like sardines on a yacht often leads to the occasional dalliance, but is rarely a long-lasting event.

But what about the Captain? Extensive traveling and time away from her home base has proven to be a challenge in Sandy’s own personal life.  She has previously discussed the difficulty of maintaining a relationship whilst being in a career where you aren’t just in separate time zones, you can be clear across the world. Well, you can start humming The Love Boat theme song along with me, because things have changed.