Beautiful wilderness and a 5-star ski resort, a private plane, endless champagne, a group of tight-knit friends ready to put their problems behind them… Oh wait, WHOOPS – not that! What can go wrong when you take the Real Housewives Of Dallas to Beaver Creek? Also, this episode was sponsored by the Letter B, the color Blush, and the number 4 – for all the naughty things Kameron Westcott doesn’t do because she’s a square.
All the beaver action began at Brandi Redmond‘s top-secret baby shower for Bruin. After Stephanie Hollman misled Kameron by making her believe they were celebrating Stephanie’s surrogate, here appeared America’s favorite ginger family presenting a mystery baby. Kameron is stupefied. Like where’s the surrogate? Did she give birth upstairs during the party? Is Brandi a stork? Like why wasn’t she told? Like, why isn’t SHE the center of the BS (Brandi/Stephanie) universe?
Cary Deuber left her bikini in the Lone Star State, and Stephanie Hollman is trying to defend her friend without making anymore enemies. The trip looks like a scene straight out of a hybrid of The Shining and Pretty in Pink. Needless to say, I can’t wait!
LeeAnne starts off, “Welcome back to my personal style of TRUTH! Southern Style!” She shares that it was good to find a common ground with Stephanie Hollman, even though it was a painful one. “The best part of celebrating the Lock’s anniversary was the chance to finally connect on a human level with Stephanie Hollman. When she told me about her attempt at suicide, I just wanted to let her know she wasn’t alone! Our mutual struggle with depression gave us a safe place to connect and communicate and relate to each other on a deeper level.” She adds, “Sometimes in the most broken parts of ourselves is where others can find the most beauty! I genuinely look forward to the journey to get to know Stephanie! It’s nice to be zen and hopeful! Especially the part where we make asses of ourselves together! LOL.”
Real Housewives Of Dallas was all over the place last night. There was new life, death, and rebirth of beaten to death dramas (and actual enormous ponytails to add to beat a dead horse analogy courtesy of LeeAnne Locken). There was also Kameron Westcott to scorn us all while wearing a ruffled pinafore reminiscent of a Victorian matron.
D’Andra Simmons is still celebrating the fact that someone not only wanted to marry her but to drag her into bed and ravage her. I suppose that other than money there’s nothing else a girl could want out of marriage, so girl – good on you! Since D’Andra is oh-so-happy, and after 4 years of marriage is an expert, she just wants LeeAnne to experience this same bliss — that is if LeeAnne can coerce Rich down the aisle without him sharting. Something he’d apparently do if it meant getting out of a wedding… Oy.
Not only that, but D’Andra decided to ambush LeeAnne and Rich Emberlin to get married during her own anniversary party. It’s clear that these two just aren’t on the same page like they used to be. There was foreshadowing in that first episode, they aren’t liking each other’s posts on Instagram these days (yes, I checked), and they were screaming in each other’s faces during the Season 3 trailer.
Get out of the way, J.R. and Sue Ellen! My ladies from the Real Housewives of Dallas are back! Like a bottle of Jesus Juice, these gals just get better with age. This week’s season premiere did not disappoint with Brandi Redmond’s precious new baby boy and LeeAnne Locken’s newfound zen. The flashback clip of “They’re JUST HANDS” never gets old, so that must be why it was shown umpteen times throughout the episode.
D’Andre Simmons feud with her frightening mother is going to be highly entertaining, and a fourth anniversary celebration is the perfect place to highlight their dysfunction. Y’all, it’s just going to be so, so good. So good.
The episode begins with the most wonderful news! After trying to get pregnant and suffering a miscarriage Brandi and her husband Bryan have found the needle in the haystack: a red-headed, green-eyed baby up for adoption. Actually, StephanieHollman found him through her friend’s adoption agency. The details of this are fuzzy, like was this baby just sitting around? But essentially Stephanie texted Brandi asking if she wanted to adopt and Brandi’s reply was “Human?”
Bruin is in fact human. And he manages to also humanize Brandi. The second Brandi met him he grasped her finger and wouldn’t let go, and she knew it was meant to be. It does sound absolutely perfect.