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Recaps

Aimee-gets-arrested

Last night on Floribama Shore, police arrested Aimee Hall. At the bar, she was harassed by a random, now the supposed victim is claiming her nose is broken. Portions of the altercation were blurred out. So, I can’t tell if she threw a drink or actually punched the woman in her face. Do we believe this is a desperate bar patron looking for fifteen minutes of fame? Or is she just a victim who talks too much? I’m leaning towards the former. Get those tabloid interview coins!

The group is in the van coming home when the police stop them. Meanwhile, Codi Butts and Candace Rice are on their way home from their date, totally unaware of the drama. Aimee is placed under arrest for battery and the random at the bar wants to press charges. The police decide not to take her to jail, but give her a court date.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: Orange Theory

So last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey welcomed Teresa Giudice back into the land of tequila with minimal drama (that’s saved for next week!). Margaret Josephs does her best to be relevant, and while I really like her, she’s sinking down to a level she shouldn’t…or maybe she’s required to–this is reality television after all! Thankfully the kids scenes were kept to a minimum. I know several readers didn’t appreciate my snarky request not to snark on the kids, but we can all agree we are here to snark…I just like keeping it to the adults who signed up for this circus! As always, thank you for reading, and now, let’s get to slinging super bronzed snark!

The RHONJ episode opens with the ladies and their families prepping for their day a la Southern Charm’s formula. Teresa is sharing her very tiny wardrobe for the upcoming bodybuilding competition with daughters Audriana, Gabriella, and Gia. Audriana calls it like she sees it. The outfit is gross and is certainly going to go up her mom’s butt. Teresa shares that she was nervous to tell incarcerated husband Joe Guidice that she was participating in such an event due to his jealous tendencies. She’s relieved that he is not only supportive, but he hopes she wins. Realizing she can’t change her mother’s tiny-weeny-bikini choices, Audriana remembers the ol’ “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” mantra and models some seriously killer poses her mom should use on the catwalk.

Below Deck - Drunk Primary Krystal

I don’t even know what to say about tonight’s Below Deck except where do they find these people? A sanitarium? A circus? A casting call for the insanely entitled? A meeting of Delusionals Anonymous? Actually I feel like Tyler Rowland is chairing that meeting. And obviously I’m delusional too if I think that’s all I’m going to say about last night’s epic episode!

So we open the episode with drunk guests falling off a moving jet ski at 10 am. The jet ski definitely would’ve failed a field sobriety test, but Captain Lee Rosbach screaming in the guests’ faces certainly knocked the sobriety into them! 

Kate

On last night’s episode of Married at First Sight, the couples still had a few days left in their honeymoon. Everything has been great with three of the couples. Then, there’s the exception of Luke Cuccurullo and Kate Sisk. She is confused by her husband. He appears to be kind and considerate, but they can’t seem to get over their lack of chemistry. On this episode, we will find out more about why Luke isn’t displaying any affection towards his wife

Keith Dewar surprises Kristine Killingsworth with a bike ride around the hotel. Poor Keith isn’t active at all and is tired after a half mile.  But I love that he wants to show his wife that he is making an effort. I think it’s great she makes him want to try different things.

Lindsay-Lohans-Beach-Club

Last week on Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Clubwe were treated to the despicable human that is Brent Marks and his inability to realize his position within the club.  Last night, the VIP hosts may have something to fear as mouthpiece boss Lindsay Lohan, and Panos Spentzos, threaten their employees with the arrival of a new hire.

Janelle -gets- bad -news -from- producers

On last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2,  Jenelle Evans’ baby daddies are coming out of the woodwork. Nathan Griffith took her to court after child abuse allegations.  Jace’s dad Andrew Lewis, showed up out of the blue.  Is Andrew’s new interest genuine? Or does he just want attention? Jenelle definitely has 99 problems, and ALL of her baby daddies are one!

Leah Messer’s daughter, Addie is going to kindergarten. Her twins are starting third grade. Ali is going to get a new aide at school to help her. Ali had not been eating at times in school because she was worried she would drop her tray. Hearing this, broke my heart, I am glad the school decided to give her assistance again. I think it is sad that this school isn’t prepared to help students with disabilities.

Celebrity Big Brother Premiere Recap: Expect The Unexpected!

As Joey Lawrence would say, “Woah!” The second-ever American version of Celebrity Big Brother kicked off last night with the first half of a two-night premiere. The second half airs tonight. It served mainly as an introductory episode: To the house, to the game and to the 12 “celebrities” that will compete for the $250,000 grand prize. I am ecstatic to be bringing you “recaps” of Celebrity Big Brother this season and I for one feel like we’re off to a very interesting start!

So why were the words “celebrities” and “recaps” put in quotes, you might ask? Well, that’s because it would be hard not to notice that the 12 contestants this season are not exactly…how shall I say…household names. How do you know you’re not a celebrity? Well for one, you find yourself competing on Celebrity Big Brother, for a cash grand prize and not for your favorite charity. In the same vein – and much like my Survivor column for this very same outlet – what I plan to bring you this season isn’t exactly a blow-by-blow “recap” of the show, but rather my thoughts, analysis, and reaction to the episode (or episodes) that we just witnessed. In other words, I’ll assume that you’ve seen the episode(s) each time, so please, please, PLEASE, if you do not want to have the show spoiled, don’t read any further until you’ve seen the episode(s)!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!

Katie Maloney

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules waded into some murky water. None of us were prepared since all we were wearing was castoff Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show robes.

At any rate, the campaign to ostracize and harass James Kennedy is reaching a diabolical and questionably legal point. It’s really pretty pathetic on the part of the show to allow this. I usually find that reality TV bullying accusations are baseless. Yet, here the cast members are actively organizing to get James pushed off the show for no apparent reason. Given how upset Lisa Vanderpump has been over her treatment on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and her repeated cries of being ganged up upon, I’m super surprised and disappointed that she’s allowing this. I’ll get off my soapbox now to recap this. However, I’m not being nice to the Three-Headed SheBeast, like ever again.