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Recaps

Denise Richards & Aaron Phypers

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills episode Denise Richards got married under the paparazzi while Lisa Vanderpump got divorced from the rest of the cast over the paparazzi. You know, just another day in LA!

Of course, this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is about a dog while having nothing to do with a dog. It’s about so much more than that, obviously, but the prevailing thing is that I can’t rally behind the unraveling of something which attempts to paint Dorit Kemsley (who’s one step away from taking her phony accent and tacky clothes to debtors prison) as the victim. She’s not, no matter how many times Dorit asks, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall: whose the most victimized of them all?” Obviously, the mirror always answers Lucy, but Dorit routinely pretends not to hear things she doesn’t understand or like.

jenelle

On last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2, Kailyn Lowry has buried the hatch with two of three of her baby daddies. Joe Rivera, however, is still on her shit list for filing for child support behind her back. She is finally ready to launch her healthcare line and is going to send a PR package to her entire cast. I’m sure her arch enemy Jenelle isn’t going to let their feud go that easily. In fact, she learns that Jenelle has set it on fire!

Kailyn goes out of town for the weekend and talks to her friend about Jenelle’s viral video of her burning her hair products. Given that her products have increased sales due to the video, maybe she should thank her for her antics. Kailyn feels like her husband has a very negative influence on her and needs a psych evaluation. Well, I can’t disagree with that! David Eason has gotten kicked off  the show and working on Jenelle being next.

Tom Sandoval & Tom Schwartz

Tom Tom finally opened on last night’s Vanderpump Rules and, and it was essentially the wedding between Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz that we’ve all been wanting to see on this show.

For this real wedding of his heart Tom 2 took an actual shower – not a dip in shit creek. Which is the literal metaphor for his marriage to Katie Maloney.

To the opening of TomTom Tom 1 and Tom 2 wore matching white suits with complimentary brown shoes and gloves. Their necklaces read “TomTom.” Their hearts said “TomTom.” Tom 1 planned a big surprise: he bought a vintage white and gold motorcycle with sidecar and had customized motorcycle helmets made. His helmet read “Tom Sandy” and Tom 2’s just said “My True Heart.” Of course, being a man who thinks of everything, Tom 1 also had some made for Katie and Ariana Madix. Katie’s helmet was emblazoned with “Obstacle.” OK, actually, “Bubba.”

girls-shocked-at-party

Last night on Married to Medicine LA, Dr. Imani Walker doubled down on her drug dealer home comments on Jazmin Johnson’s home. Apparently, she knows exactly how they look because she has been in one. Insert side eye, here! Her explanation is that the house was large and opulent and doesn’t have much furniture. I guess by that logic, half of the people on Bravo reality stars are drug dealers.

Shanique Drummond explains that Jazmin Johnson’s husband owns a very successful medical practice. Imani is not trying to hear that excuse because she owns a practice and isn’t living like that. Ummm…. If it walks like a hater and sounds like a hater… IT’S A HATER! Last time I checked several people have the same title and have totally different incomes and levels of success. Imani, instead of hating, maybe you should figure out what he is doing differently than you. This episode is definitely packed with catfights and drama!

Eva Marcille - Real Houewives Of Atlanta

Another day, another Real Housewife with financial problems, living a life she can’t afford. This time Eva Marcille is the one accused of being secretly broke while fronting . The Real Housewives Of Atlanta are working the case of whether or not Eva has money.

I’m not really sure I understand this story but the gist of it seems to be that one of Eva’s bridesmaids, Seannita, got angry with her over the wedding – Why? What happened? Where is the rest of this story? Seannita took things to Mama Joyce‘s streets where she choked Eva’s wedding planner at the actual wedding (!). Then, ran all over town until she turned up on Marlo Hampton‘s doorstep like Postmates delivering tea, piping hot, ready to drink, and with a buy one, get one coupon. The story Seannita told Marlo, and then NeNe Leakes and Tanya Sam was witness protection program crazy!

Ramona Singer - Real Housewives Of New York Clambake

Last week’s Real Housewives Of New York gave us a Mermaid Moonwalk. This week Ramona Singer terrorized a clambake by stuffing whole lobsters in a plastic grocery bag. This is why Real Housewives Of New York is the best!

“I’m not quite sure if I’m invited or not but I’m inviting myself,” shrugs Ramona, arriving at Barbara Kavovit‘s much-anticipated clambake. She believes wine is the salve that soothes all social wounds. So by bringing two bottles of rosé, PLUS a fancy pie, there’s no way she’ll be turned away. Who knew she’d leave with so many party favors. 

Survivor: Edge of Extinction Episode 5 and 6 Recap: Forged In Fire

This season just got great, people! For those that have stuck through the first handful of episodes, we were rewarded tonight with two AMAZING hours of Survivor. Two hours that were filled with strategy, drama, excitement, twists and major blindsides. It’s made the trek thus far worth it, and then some. I, for one, was bubbling with that Survivor-adrenaline tonight, and forget what the naysayers might be telling you: The Edge of Extinction was darned-exciting tonight too! Yes, Survivor was firing on all cylinders tonight. And here’s hoping it has jolted its loyal fan-base into being excited again. I’m feeling reinvigorated!

As I do at the beginning of every recap, please heed the following. Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 5 and 6 of Survivor: Edge of Extinction. If you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap. It is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

luke-with-guys

On the last episode of Married At First Sight, decision day is less than one week away and the couples are still stuck at the second honeymoon from hell with AJ Vollmoeller. Things get tense when Kate Sisk reveals to Luke Cuccurullo, she not only told one expert, but another cast-mate about their secret sex life. Will her fantasy of a happy marriage end tonight or will she continue to be used and hurt?

The men are cooking for the women and there is only one man missing… Will Guess. He is missing all the fun, sleeping away the crazy from the night before. Jasmine McGriff, of course, had to go wake him up because she didn’t want her man to have peace miss the fun. Jasmine confides with the ladies that at times she feels like Will can be cold. Stephanie Sersen shares she doesn’t know if her decision should be based on the future or the past month. We have all seen him go off on her just about every week. If he acts that way in front of the cameras, Steph needs to RUN before the cameras disappear.