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Recaps

Texicanas Recap: Unfashionable Behavior

On last night’s episode of  Texicanas, the saga continued between Luz Ortiz and Mayra Farret. I swear it doesn’t matter how old the women are catfights will always exist. To think this drama is all over the word, “anal”. Maybe I am in the minority, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. SMH…But in the spirit of reality tv, take a small argument and drag it out for a season. These women definitely have taken a page out of The Real Housewives handbook!

Several of the women attended a mariachi mass with their families. Karla Ramirez barely crawled down the aisle to find a seat after completing the grueling Spartan race, the day before. I bet she will train beforehand if she ever agrees to do another one. The ladies attend lunch after mass with their families. Although Luz is not there, she and Mayra’s relationship (or lack thereof) becomes a topic of discussion. Mayra seems to be struggling with how they can coexist in one friend group. This will be a problem when the ladies are eventually put in a position to choose a side. If I were Mayra, I wouldn’t allow Luz to alienate me among women I have known longer than her.

Teen Mom 2 Episode Recap: Reunion Part 1

On last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2, we witnessed the first part of the reunion hosted by  Dr. Drew Pinsky and Nessa Diab. These two didn’t waste any time, they jumped right into the drama in the first five minutes of the show. This was the first time many of the cast members saw each other since the drama last reunion.Grab a cocktail or a snack and let’s mind their business for a little while longer!

The show opened up with Leah Messer and Chelsea Houska who are the only two moms who weren’t involved in the drama last year. The rest of the moms refused to be on stage with one another this year. MTV was messy re-showing the video footage of Kailyn Lowry being grabbed after an explosive argument with Briana DeJesus. You would think Kailyn would have learned a lesson and stopped inciting beefs with other people. I think the only lesson she learned was to talk crap behind their back and avoid them at all costs. I guess she doesn’t want to risk having her wig snatched again.

Tom Schwartz Kyle Cooke Summer House

As a Bravo super-fan, the annual Summer House and Vanderpump Rules crossover episode is like my Super Bowl and it’s finally here! Before we see Kyle Cooke tell Stassi Schroeder she looks like Steve Jobs again (one can only hope), Kyle and Amanda Batula are tearfully discussing their future as a couple. They cry, they comfort each other and they go to sleep. I feel like we’ve seen this pattern a lot wit them. Meanwhile, the rest of the house comes back drunk except for Lindsay Hubbard who sleeps out again. Good for her. At the moment, relationships in the Summer House are all over the place!

Lindsay stubbles home, Jordan Verroi likes that girl (Erica) from the bar last week and Paige DeSorbo is talking to someone named Justin. Since Carl Radke brought a random as his date to a wedding, Paige feels free to move ahead with other guys. You go girl. Also, Paige has a full on pre-date routine, including a face mask. I continue to relate to Paige on a spiritual level. Jordan confines in Kyle about his erectile disfunction and Kyle is questioning his story. He thinks Jordan is either gay or a virgin. I never want to label someone but Jordan’s E.D is definitely stemming from a different issue.

Tom Sandoval & Ariana Madix

Whew – we have crossed the finish line with season 7 of Vanderpump Rules and I am here to report that this reunion did not need to be 3 parts. There – recap done!

OK, kidding. I actually felt there were some illuminating moments. Like the glimpse of Katie Maloney‘s hubris. Wowee-wow-WOW. Katie literally always sees herself as the victim. She blames James Kennedy for the internet hating her but the internet rightfully hated Katie long before her antics this season! As Tom 1 never really got a chance to say courtesy of James’ interrupitis – a germ passed from Kristen Doute – Katie has been a rancid bottle of ranch dressing since season 1. Katie’s OWN putrid behavior is the reason the Twitterverse rails on her – it has nothing to do with James or her weight (or her husband’s manhood – how is that not also body shaming?). Let’s just say Katie is giving marriage, ranch dressing, the internet, and humanity a bad name. Oh, and also clothing.

90 Day Fiancé Happily Ever After Recap: A Break May Be Necessary

On last night’s episode of 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After, several couples seemed to be hoping for a break from one another. But all signs point to break up in the future at the rate they are going. Ashley Martson surprised her husband Jay Smith with a girl’s trip to NYC. In her mind, she doesn’t need his approval to go anywhere so letting him know last minute is a courtesy. Wow… last time I checked spouses actually discuss their plans.  Pedro Jimeno was counting down the days to leave his wife, Chantel Everett. When Chantel communicated that she doesn’t want to be alone for too long, he reminded her she will have her cat. Is Pedro ready for an extended vacation or a divorce?

Elizabeth Potthast visited her sister, Jen’s home to vent about the situation she created. Last week, she and her husband were being ungrateful spoiled brats when her dad requested they do more to get on their feet. I find it funny that Elizabeth was down to drag her dad with her husband UNTIL Andrei Castravet demanded they leave their comfy home. He wants to go somewhere, he can afford, which is nowhere, because he doesn’t have a job. Does Andrei not have basic math skills? You moved into the free rental house because you were broke, no free house equals even more broke!

RHOP Michael Darby Real Housewives Of Potomac

Candiace Dillard’s fabulous Real Housewives of Potomac wedding aired last week, but it’s time to move on. There’s plenty of drama on the horizon, and this week is Katie Rost’s return! Katie back in the fold assures viewers they are in for some crazy situations. Also, we get to see the next chapter in the never-ending Gizelle Bryant/Karen Huger frenemy saga.

Michael Darby’s sexual comments toward men will likely play a big part in the episode. His marriage with Ashley Darby is always clouded in mystery. Nobody knows what’s real with the two of them. The upcoming scandal is going to be very telling when it comes to the legitimacy of their relationship. I guess we’ll see!

Real Housewives Of New York

On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, the women traveled upstate – like way upstate – to have another intervention with Luann de Lesseps. This time about how her cabaret has become unmanageable and out of control.

Sonja Morgan rides to Luann’s Catskills home in the equivalent of a private jet on wheels. Basically, a camper van repurposed into a luxury hotel room. It still has more amenities than the townhouse, though, because it features a working toilet!

Southern Charm Recap:

He’s got money, he’s in magazines….the tabloids! Last night, Southern Charm made it’s much anticipated return with one missing piece, one Mr. Thomas Ravenel, who is sitting out this round due to several alleged sexual assault accusations. We do get our OG Charmers–Cameran Eubanks, Kathryn Dennis, Shep Rose, and Craig Conover. To say I cannot wait for this season to unfold would be an understatement!

The format remains the same…we follow the Charmers through their morning routines. The only difference is this group of noon sleepers are all actually early-rising adults. One by one, they recap their thoughts on the allegations against T-Rav and his subsequent arrest. Kathryn talks to Danni Baird and Craig. Shep admits to Austen Kroll that he’s yet to check in on the mother of two. Chelsea Meissner and Naomie Olindo (added to the credits this season, congrats!) joke about whether what’s her name will stay with Thomas if he goes to jail. Cameran is wisely pleading the fifth. She doesn’t want to risk a lawsuit from the Litigious Lothario.