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Recaps

Alexis Bellino Below Deck Real Housewives Of Orange County

On last night’s Below Deck there was a blast from the past when former Real Housewives of Orange County star Alexis Bellino was the charter guest. Guess who was nowhere to be found? JimBlob Bellino! Because Alexis was in Thailand to celebrate her divorce with new boyfriend Drew. Jesus Barbie take the wheel.

Also Rhylee Gerber did not get sacked! Despite Ashton Pienaar‘s attempted mutiny to have her fired, Captain Lee Rosbach saw through the BS to realize that Ashton needs to do his job as boson and work with his team.

Sadly for Rhylee not all victors get the spoils. Even though she kept her position the entire deck crew is now barely acknowledging her and keeping it at minimum civil. Plus Rhylee knows they all conspired to try and have her fired so even when they try to joke with her later she isn’t sure if it’s a dig or sincere sarcasm. But it has been well-established that all the men on this boat (except for Captain Lee) are complete and utter asses, and last night definitely reinforced it!

Cynthia Bailey Real Housewives Of Atlanta

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta was a trip to the insane asylum rather than carnival. Or maybe they thought they were visiting LeeAnne Locken‘s carnival of crazy? The fighting and attempted snake baiting went so completely off the rails that Kenya Moore‘s elusive SECURITY! appeared out of nowhere to drag Nene Leakes away. Does Kenya summon them by flicking her maxi dress?!

It’s hard to believe the mess all started with Porsha Williams getting re-engaged in a surprise re-proposal. Dennis McKinley showed up Tanya Sam‘s party, and crept through the crowd like a gopher, until he popped up right at Porsha’s feet holding a ring.

All it took was Dennis publicly admitting that he betrayed Porsha’s trust and embarrassed their family for her to immediately re-accept and start calling him “husband,” but something is not right because Porsha was all excited to take Dennis back to the hotel for some peen, yet he had to fly home to his hot dogs instead… Like Kandi Burruss I too have my suspicions. However if I were Kandi I’d be more worried about what Todd Tucker is doing with his time all day with all these unfinished properties he spent her money on! 

90 Day Fiancé Recap: Choose Me

Last night’s episode of 90 Day Fiance, was emotional to say the least. These people are literally driving me to drink. How much sobbing, screaming and selfishness can we be expected to witness in one sitting.   If you are looking for drama, TLC definitely delivered this episode.  I think I need a hug.

Mursel Mistanoglu packs his bags for Turkey. Angela Deem finally arrives in Nigeria. Natalie‘s revelation leaves Mike devastated. Tania Maduro and Syngin Colchester ‘s romantic reunion goes south.  Blake‘s friends confront him about Jasmin. Let’s get straight into the recap!

Lacey Life After Lockup

Life After Lockup continues to get better every single week. On last week’s season premiere, the couples were going THROUGH IT. It’s still unclear why Sarah Simmons or Megan J continue to give Michael Simmons the time of day. He offers them literally nothing. These women could do sooooo much better. Andrea Edwards and Lamar Jackson are still married, but live in separate states. Who can blame him for trying to escape her?

Sooner or later, both of the men that Lacey is playing are going to leave her. Shane and John are only going to allow themselves to be played for so long. Lacey can’t manipulate these two men forever. It won’t happen. Things are going well for Brittany Santiago and Marcelino Santiago. However, usually, this means that something bad is coming around the corner. Good luck guys!

Kary Brittingham D'Andra Simmons Real Housewives Of Dallas

Real Housewives Of Dallas came to an end last night in a dramatic and intense reunion focused on whether or not LeeAnne Locken is racist.

We all knew that the bulk of Part 2 was going to be spent on this subject. So after D’Andra Simmons was given a platform to gush about turning around Hard Night Good Morning and salvaging her relationship with Mama Dee, Andy Cohen got right into the matter of LeeAnne’s behavior in Thailand and the racially charged comments she made about Kary Brittingham.

First of all, Andy is FED. UP! I’ve never seen him so combative or out and out confrontational towards a Real Housewife as he was with LeeAnne last night. Of course, LeeAnne was trying to blame production for everything she did, and if there’s one thing Andy despises it’s a Housewife who tries to blame Bravo for her actions. I’m surprised LeeAnne didn’t accuse editing of dubbing the phrase “chirpy Mexican” into her mouth.

Married At First Sight Recap-Here Comes the Stranger

On the last episode of , the singles informed their friends and family about their pending nuptials. Basically, it went like this…”Surprise, I’m about to marry a complete stranger!” Most took it surprisingly well. Maybe what we saw on camera was not their real initial reaction. My family would have called me desperate on national television. So either I should be questioning their support or be thanking them for always telling me the truth as they see it.  Sigh! I’ll worry about whether I need to go to therapy another day.

The couples will walk down the aisle and take their first leap of faith in their new marriage. While some are excited to celebrate with family and friends others are questioning if they made the right decision. It’s too late to panic now; we the viewers have lives to judge a show to watch. Let’s get straight into the Married At First Sight recap!

Teresa Giudice Real Housewives Of New Jersey

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are the gift that keeps on giving! Last week’s episode was such a RIDE. From Margaret Josephs dumping water on Danielle Staub, to THAT hair pull. These women are violent, and we can’t get enough. That entire final five minutes was so legendary. If you like heart racing edge of your seat drama, you were loving it.

The chaos that these ladies were causing in that store is mind boggling. Everyone was looking on like WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F**K? Where do Margaret and Danielle even go from here? They can’t be friends. There’s no way. Danielle called her trout mouth, and Margaret called Beverly Danielle a prostitute. Those are fighting words in Jersey. The women of Beverly Hills or OC could NEVER. The fallout from this is going to be pure golden entertainment. 

Vanderpump Rules Season 8 Premiere Lisa Vanderpump

Last night was the season 8 premiere of Vanderpump Rules, and honestly EIGHT YEARS. EIGHT YEARS! You’d think these people would’ve grown up some, but alas here they are, still filling squirt guns with tequila and fighting about who’s a bad friend.

For many a’seasons I’ve been saying it’s high time for a cast change; one which acknowledges and reflects that the OGs are, well, missing the natural collagen in their faces and therefore no longer eligible to play the role of struggling bartender straight off the bus from St. Louis. Last night Vanderpump Rules finally paid credence to that, and it almost felt as if we were going into this season with the realization that it would be the last for the original crew. I’ll wear sequins to their funeral, play Solid Gold in downtempo, and drink PumpTinis with the rims salted with dehydrated tears.