The latest season of 90 Day Fiance ended a few months ago and I will admit I have been missing the over the top drama delivered by the show’s cast. Just when you think that nothing can shock you, 90 Day always manages to surprise/amaze/offend/appall you. And leave you wondering, what are these people thinking? And that, in a nutshell, is why we watch reality television-because these folks often don’t think at all before acting!
Fortunately, 90 Day Fiance has a spin off show-90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? -for us to enjoy. Half of the cast for Season 4 was already announced: Russ Mayfield and Paola Mayfield, Chantel Everett and Pedro Jimeno and Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima. All of whom are couples who could throw down enough crazy to fill a show on their own. And now the rest of the cast has been announced-assuring a season guaranteed to be educational television at its finest.
It’s going to be a three-hour extravaganza of CRAZY with an all new 90 Day Fiance tonight, followed immediately by a new 90 Day Live special hosted by the fabulous Michelle Collins. And guess who’s coming along for the live show ride? One of our favorite pink-tanktopped-wonders from Before The 90 Days and Mother Colt!
Yes, it’s true: Angela and Debbie will be gracing our screens for one whole hour answering viewer questions and comparing notes about how it feels to be in a committed relationship with a younger man who thinks of you as his elder. No word on whether there will be air conditioning on set yet.
Sigh. It seems like only yesterday that these mild-to-highly disturbed folks came into our lives, but alas, ‘tis time to say goodbye! Before the six couples of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days float on down the rancid river of their bad decisions forever, we at least get one final rumble on a very tiny couch, complete with Angela popping off on Rachel while two grown men physically restrain her. And really, what more could we ask for?
Last night, Shaun Robinson hosted the 90 Day version of a TLC reunion, known as The Couples Tell All, in which the American fiances come together (plus Jesse, who would attend the opening of an envelope if it meant more screen time) to talk to their Skyped-in lovahs. At each Tell All, we are promised updates on the couples’ plans since we’ve seen them last. But what we actually get at these twisted shindigs is OH SO much more.
Even though each and every cast member of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days could single-handedly bring enough dramatic trash TV to carry an entire season, tonight we’re in for a real treat. Because the Couples Tell All reunion is here!
And you know what that means: The entire cast is about to be crammed on to one tiny couch to claw each other’s eyes out in the name of love and fodderhood. Plus, their partners in crime are all set to Skype in via large screen TV to fight with them through the magic of broadband, with only Shaun Robinson poised betwixt them to control the chaos. Or maybe just gawk at it?
Saturday night, I witnessed Bradley Cooper shine in A Star Is Born, but last night I truly witnessed the best actor in a lead dramatic role when Ricky pretended he was something other than a world class scumbag. Ah, 90 Day Fiance Before The 90 Days, what are we gonna do without ya? Season two has been a rare gift of carefully curated dysfunction, the likes of which we may never see again – until regular 90 Day Fiance (season 6) starts up in two weeks. YAY!
Before we get to Ricky’s hot mess, a hop across the pond is in order. Rachel, Jon, and Lucy are playing “happy family” at their cottage rental as Rachel silently seethes over girlfriends of Jon’s past. It seems she’s moved past her fears (for now) because it’s time to pick out wedding bands. And apparently, it’s also time to tell the unwitting jeweler, “We met on a karaoke app!” It’s also time for Jon to tell Rachel that he doesn’t want to wear a wedding ring! Umm, WHAT?
It’s the end of a long, dramatic journey for the six couples of this season’s 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, and tonight we’ll see just how much dignity can be scraped off of the floor before they decide to walk away and/or commit themselves to one another for
another paycheck life.
TLC’s previews are keeping tonight’s drama on strict lockdown, but we do see glimpses of what may befall our American-foreign lovebirds. As for the 7th(ish) couple, Marta and Daya, their relationship was basically dead on arrival, so let’s just allow them to RIP.
It seems the United States is not lacking for lonely hearts willing to go all in for someone they’ve never met. One can deduce, therefore, that 90 Day Fiance will be airing indefinitely (awesome), and that someone other than Angela will be proposing marriage to Michael.
On Monday, a superfan of 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days named Kimmy sent Michael a DM with the proposition, “Hello Michael, my name is Kim. I just want to tell you that you are such a good man. I am very attracted to you. If for some reason you might [sic] Angela do not get married, I would love to marry you and help you get your green card to come live with me in the US. Please send me a message back and let me know how things are going with you.” A following message included two selfies and the cringe-worthy proclamation, “Here are two pictures of me. I love you Michael just from seeing you on TV. I am so much in love with you. Please write me back so I know you got my message okay. God bless you.”
Hello Darcey. Hello Daughters. It is illusion. Dat I’m da Fodder. So the time’s come. Dat we end this. Now go home and cut your damn steak. On da bias.
Welcome to Camp Crazy! What the actual f**k did we witness on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days last night? What a swirling toilet bowl of drama this show is – and there’s no climbing out now. This week, there was beach-side rapping, a dramatic near death experience in four feet of water (!!), a hateful break up in an Uber, jacked up proposals galore, and – sadly – tragic news for Paul and Karine.