The Vanderpump Rules Season 8 reunion kicks off tonight. Andy Cohen meets with the many Vanderpump Rules cast members via video chat to dish on the most interesting moments of the season and to drop some truth bombs about some tea none of us knew about.
Of course, we will see Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval’s feud play out, for the 100th time. And, most likely, they’ll be “best friends” again next season. However, I’m sure they’re gonna revisit the “pre-bachelor party” drama and the dueling pool parties.
During last week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Beau Clark proposed to Stassi Schroeder in a graveyard. This week, they’re still living it up in their engagement, but most likely, that will included continued bitching about Kristen Doute, the one (main) cast member excluded fromtheir celebration.
Scheana Marie asks Brett Caprioni to be her love interest in her music video. Most likely, she did this to bother Dayna Kathan, who has been seeing Brett. That’s probably going tot backfire on Scheana. The girl is having a rough season when it comes to her issues with Dayna.
After over a month of Vanderpump Rules episodes leading up to this moment, Beau Clark finally proposes to Stassi Schroeder tonight. The big moment is actually the most Stassi proposal ever, in a graveyard, and filmed by a camera crew, of course.
Most of the cast is invited to celebrate the engagement at Lisa Vanderpump’s house. However, Kristen Doute did not make the cut, yet there’s an empty chair there, for everyone to awkwardly feel her presence. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright try to comfort Kristen for feeling left out, but something tells me she’s still going to be upset regardless.
Most of the Vanderpump Rules cast members head to Las Vegas tonight for Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s wedding redo. It’s not all wedding bliss though. Schwartz finds a bra in his bag and it’s not Katie’s. Is something scandalous going on? Probably not, but there’s bound to be drama anyway.
Of course, Kristen Doute is flipping out back in West Hollywood because she was excluded. Again. Even Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd make the trip. Naturally, Lisa also uses the trip as an opportunity to publicize the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden.
Oh sheesh, after serial dating everyone else on the cast to see who sticks (aka who will even pretend to put up with them), Dayna Kathan and Brett Caprioni are finally getting their moment on Vanderpump Rules.
And then there is Stassi Schroeder literally begging Beau Clark for a ring. Isn’t this a pattern for her to demand these men want to commit on her terms? Just like it’s a pattern for Scheana Marie to fake BFF every guy under 30 who she meets at SUR, writing his initials in puffy paint circled by a heart on all her most favorite sweatshirts. Doodling SM + ANYONE WHO WILL LOVE ME AND MY PRACTICALLY BARREN GERIATRIC WOMB. Anyway, where is Lala Kent to point out Stassi’s flaws? Good thing we’re here to do that instead.
Seriously Scheana may not be able to land a date, but she’s certainly able to launch the would-be careers of previously no-name SURvers. Maybe she should finally give up waitressing to go work with Beau in central casting? (Not kidding!)
Things are happening on Vanderpump Rules. Dramatic things! Jax Taylor turned 40. We do not need to celebrate any more milestones for him though. Raquel Leviss is suddenly finding herself included in things. I can’t tell if that’s because Kristen Doute is finally finding herself EXcluded for not making Carter her official ex, or if it’s because Lala Kent wants to eviscerate Raquel in public. Or because James Kennedy has finally sobered up and everyone wants to experience the potential shit-show that is Sober James?
Lisa Vanderpump meets Ariana Madix for a little horseplay. Lisa has taught her horse to talk, likes to make-out with him, and can conjure his wiener on demand. Lisa is one step away from Carole Baskin, and Ken better watch out before he finds himself fed to a pen full of tiny ponies. You know Lisa’s next wedding will feature a slavish weirdo wearing a pink tasseled horse saddle while she holds him by the literal reigns.
(Please watch Tiger King. I will be recapping a couple episodes, and we need to discuss.)