Bethenny has a lifetime of experience, after all, so she ushers Sonja out of the room, grabs her face, and performs an exorcism. I also think Bethenny must have hypnotized Sonja with one the 32 diamond rings she’s wearing, because from that moment forward Sonja became obsessed with The B. Back at the table, Sonja is ready to resume partying. Everything’s fine!
Dorinda Medley thought she was making it nice by decorating her house like cheesy haunted house, but the Fish Room is no halloween theme! Those are $15,000 taxidermied sword fish (why? how? so confusing?) and it’s a privilege to pass out drunk before their glassy-eyed stare! Also they are there all. year. round. Come Easter they wear bunny ears, come Christmas twinkly lights, come St. Patty’s day a leprechaun hat, but come Halloween they get to just be their creepy selves. Kinda like the Real Housewiveswhen they enter the Berkshires – all their most idiosyncratic tendencies and behaviors come out in full force and they are their most selves.
Take Luann for instance, throwing a haughty fit after learning she was placed in the Fish Room instead of ‘Hannah’s room’ at the front of the house.
Last night the Real Housewives Of New York headed to the Berkshires and they weren’t there 15 minutes before drama erupted over who has to wake up in the shark room. Ladies – Dorinda Medley made it nice, the least you can do is start out behaving!
Ramona Singer is actually looking forward to the Berkshires this year, because she thinks she’s “good with everyone.” Apparently she’s forgotten that Bethenny Frankel has the memory of an elephant when it comes to other people offending her. And that Luann de Lesseps has an elephantine ego that will not be satisfied with peanuts. Perhaps Ramona’s disaster date gave her a new frame of reference for the people in her lives?
Speaking of dates, Bethenny is headed to Boston to visit the guy she’s dating. I’m confused: at the clambake Bethenny was just considering going on her first post-Dennis date, with a man she’d met before Dennis passed, even though she was engaged to Dennis? Now she’s in a full fledged relationship which has “really heated up” since Dennis died?
If you thought Blue Stone Manor and the annual Real Housewives Of New York trip to the Berkshires (aka The Berzerkshires) was scary when decorated with 300,000 Santas, imagine it on Halloween! That’s right. The Real Housewives Of New York are choosing All Hallows Eve to haunt its already haunted halls. Does a haunting on top of a haunting make a house ghost-free? Like two wrongs make a right?
Whatever – I’m excited. I mean, the preview had Ramona Singer commenting that one of Dorinda Medley‘s growling zombie decorations “looks like Bethenny crying,” so you know this is gonna be amazing.
“I’m not quite sure if I’m invited or not but I’m inviting myself,” shrugs Ramona, arriving at Barbara Kavovit‘s much-anticipated clambake. She believes wine is the salve that soothes all social wounds. So by bringing two bottles of rosé, PLUS a fancy pie, there’s no way she’ll be turned away. Who knew she’d leave with so many party favors.
Sonja arrives at Ramona’s house after being driven by Tinsley Mortimer. After all Tinsley’s whining that she might crash before she even gets into the driver’s seat, she turned out to be a good driver. Which, according to Sonja, also naturally means Tinsley will be a good mother. Because… ?
For some reason Sonja has long extensions – from a photoshoot maybe. They look so ratty I assume she found them in a box in a the Townhouse basement labeled JP – Mother’s Victorian Wigs. Anyway, this inspires Dorinda Medley to whip out the mermaid costumes she brought so they all can do something besides eat, drink, go to restaurants and fight. Dorinda believes their mermaid photos will “go viral.” Which is usually what they’re saying about Sonja’s vagina.
Last night was the season premiere of Real Housewives Of New York and all I have to say is thank goodness these ladies area back! They are quite literally the saviors of the Real Housewives franchise, and LuAnn de Lesseps and Co. definitely took us to church last night.
It’s a topsy-turvy time for all the women, who are dealing with some personal changes and challenges – like deciding to paint their entire apartment hot pink on the recommendation of an emotionally domineering unprofessional designer (aka their invisible teenaged daughter.) Gotta make amends for being a drunk loon on TV and I guess pink walls is the easiest way to do it! Obviously, I’m talking about Sonja T. Morgan and her unseen, unnamed daughter Quincy J. (I swear Quincy is actually just Sonja’s id acting up! #FreudRealTalk)