The crew of Below Deck Season 7 was a disharmonious bunch by the end of it all. The bickering within the deck crew caused strife on every single night out. Seriously, have we ever seen a season where the cast splits down gender lines to the point where boat-mances fizzle out and no one is trying to hook up? Everyone except Tanner Sterbeck, of course. He’s just so oblivious to the mood on board, he’ll keep approaching Chief Stew Kate Chastain for a sex date.
Miraculously, the toxic environment did not affect the quality of work on board too much. Though Kate was often at odds with Chef Kevin Dobson, and Bosun Ashton Pienaar, they maintained their professionalism and their departments rather well considering. Valor was not completely void of people who couldn’t push the drama aside during charter.
We have finally docked on this toxic season of Below Deck, and they could fill an ocean with champagne and it still wouldn’t be enough to celebrate coming to the end of this mess.
There’s really not much left to say about the stupidity, except that the guys have learned nothing. As Courtney Skippon so eloquently explained (how on earth did casting miss that she was smart and go on to hire her?) about misogyny it’s not simply hating women, it’s putting women down for behaving in ways you think are reserved for men. This manifested in Brian de Saint Pern deciding Courtney had no right to share her opinions and should stay out of ‘mens bidnezz.’ Or Ashton Pienaar deciding he could shove his tongue down Kate Chastain‘s throat, because all she’s worth is an item to satisfy him, not his equal rank in running an entity of a super yacht.
After all the drama of this season’s Below Deck I expected the reunion to be somewhere on the crazy-level of your average Real Housewives reunion, but it was clear that everyone came with a plan to redeem themselves by being on their best behavior. Sure, there were disagreements, but polite and quiet ones. Even Kevin Dobson apologized and managed to find nice things to say about Kate Chastain. Not that we forgive him.
Andy Cohen was pretty direct this reunion. Possibly even skewing towards combative. He directly questioned Kate and Captain Lee, and even argued against some of Captain Lee’s points. Basically, Andy seems tired of Captain Lee blindly defending Kate at all costs possible. To err is human and last I checked Kate is a human, not the saint of the sea.
Without a doubt the unofficial theme of this season’s Below Deck was dicks. Being one, not being one, swinging one around, serving one on a platter, eating one, flashing one… And in the case of Kevin Dobson ALL OF THE ABOVE. Good for you Chef, way to make an impression!
Staying on theme it all started with a big ol’ cock, made of cake, that went over like failed viagra on a Tinder hook-up. As Kevin walked his penile accomplishment out to a room full of women talking about the subtleties of aging and the various phases of life, he reminded me of a toddler who peed in the potty for the first time, but announced it to the check-out lady at Target. Needless to say no one was impressed, and he’d probably have gotten the same reception from his future in-laws as he did from the charter guests and Captain Lee Rosbach.
Below Deck Season 7 will conclude tonight… with its last regular episode. They taped a reunion episode for next week and Below Deck Sailing Yacht premieres tonight. Basically, there’s a lot of drama on deck for the fans (pun intended).
Tonight’s episode begins where last week left off: Kevin Dobson made a penis cake for a primary charter guest who went to bed early after turning up quite a bit. Kate Chastain knew that the primary was out for the count, but purposely didn’t tell Kevin and the whole penis cake presentation, with Captain Lee Rosbach sitting there no less, was just so vicariously awkward to watch.
Last night’s Below Deck was certainly stiff with drama, wasn’t it!? Former ESPN host Jemele Hill came on board with a group of her girlfriends to celebrate her bachelorette party. They wanted smiling stewardesses, nonstop drinks, and a penis cake. Well they got everything, but the smiling stewardesses!
But first … le drama! With mere hours left before the new – famous! – charter guest arrives, Captain Lee Rosbach has to put all the naughty slumber-partying kids to bed with the threat of punishment. No dessert for a week! He storms to the aft deck like an enraged mommy woken from her slumber. The only thing he needed was curlers in his hair to complete the look, (pecs are the new curlers).
Kate Chastain slinks to her bed then bursts into sobs. Kate is beyond fed up with being taken advantage of by the men on this boat so good thing she only has 3 days left to go! The next morning the mood is tense and testy as Captain Lee calls the entire crew in for a meeting.
Do male scorpions sting? Or is it females? Or both? On Below Deck everyone is feeling stung, which is maybe why they’re also lashing out.
Rhylee Gerber was doing fairly well after her pep talk from Captain Lee Rosbach saved her from getting fired, but a few crispy scorpions (and dickish deckhands) proved to be her undoing. Poor Rhylee – this is the worst case of gaslighting ever!
But first — sexyThaitimes! Alexis Bellino is still dry-humping her way to heaven. The former Real Housewives Of Orange County star is on board to celebrate her divorce from Jim by begging her new boyfriend to propose. Remember when Jesus Barbie aspired to be nothing more than the perfect Christian wife, toting a blinged-out bible to prayer practice (which obviously took place while simultaneously spinning)? Well Alexis abandoned that in a Coto Mansion. New Alexis is more Eve who ate the apple right off Drew Bohn‘s tree. Sadly we had to witness the whole thing.
Kate Chastain has to be cringing watching these recent Below Deck episodes. During the last episode, she tried to get Tanner Sterback to sleep over in her room after the crew got back from a night out. Then, she drunkenly went into his room and tried to wake him to hook up, but he wasn’t budging.
But, will these two ever get further than that kiss they shared in the van. Last week, Tanner was all over that charter guest, who happened to be a chef, at the club. Before that, he puke and rallied before hooking up with second stew Simone Mashile, who happens to hate Kate.