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Kate Chastain Below Deck

Do male scorpions sting? Or is it females? Or both? On Below Deck everyone is feeling stung, which is maybe why they’re also lashing out.

Rhylee Gerber was doing fairly well after her pep talk from Captain Lee Rosbach saved her from getting fired, but a few crispy scorpions (and dickish deckhands) proved to be her undoing. Poor Rhylee – this is the worst case of gaslighting ever!

But first — sexyThaitimes! Alexis Bellino is still dry-humping her way to heaven. The former Real Housewives Of Orange County star is on board to celebrate her divorce from Jim by begging her new boyfriend to propose. Remember when Jesus Barbie aspired to be nothing more than the perfect Christian wife, toting a blinged-out bible to prayer practice (which obviously took place while simultaneously spinning)? Well Alexis abandoned that in a Coto Mansion. New Alexis is more Eve who ate the apple right off Drew Bohn‘s tree. Sadly we had to witness the whole thing.

Simone Mashile Below Deck

Kate Chastain has to be cringing watching these recent Below Deck episodes. During the last episode, she tried to get Tanner Sterback to sleep over in her room after the crew got back from a night out. Then, she drunkenly went into his room and tried to wake him to hook up, but he wasn’t budging.

But, will these two ever get further than that kiss they shared in the van. Last week, Tanner was all over that charter guest, who happened to be a chef, at the club. Before that, he puke and rallied before hooking up with second stew Simone Mashile, who happens to hate Kate.

Captain Lee

The Below Deck feud between Rhylee Gerber and her bosun Ashton Pienaar has been quelled for now.  Of course, the only man who could possibly undertake such a feat is our favorite Stud of the Sea Captain Lee Rosbach.  He basically shut down Ashton’s attempt to rid himself of Rhylee.  A move meant to save face at his inability to manage her.
After weeks of Rhylee and Ashton butting heads, Ashton was ready to finish out the season a man down.  Chief Stew Kate Chastain rightly suggested that the real solution is Ashton bettering his management skills.  Captain Lee agreed and, in a surprise move, told him to make it work with his team.

Alexis Bellino Below Deck Real Housewives Of Orange County

On last night’s Below Deck there was a blast from the past when former Real Housewives of Orange County star Alexis Bellino was the charter guest. Guess who was nowhere to be found? JimBlob Bellino! Because Alexis was in Thailand to celebrate her divorce with new boyfriend Drew. Jesus Barbie take the wheel.

Also Rhylee Gerber did not get sacked! Despite Ashton Pienaar‘s attempted mutiny to have her fired, Captain Lee Rosbach saw through the BS to realize that Ashton needs to do his job as boson and work with his team.

Sadly for Rhylee not all victors get the spoils. Even though she kept her position the entire deck crew is now barely acknowledging her and keeping it at minimum civil. Plus Rhylee knows they all conspired to try and have her fired so even when they try to joke with her later she isn’t sure if it’s a dig or sincere sarcasm. But it has been well-established that all the men on this boat (except for Captain Lee) are complete and utter asses, and last night definitely reinforced it!

Ashton Pienaar Below Deck

This season of Below Deck is toxic in the extreme. Every single episode is like Game Of Thrones — with shammies and champagne. I need Xanax to even get through an episode of trying to figure out who’s the double-agent villain or the actual heroine.

I love Kate Chastain, and I cannot imagine enduring what’s happening on that boat with such a stiff upper lip, let alone rising above it, but I think we can all agree it was out of line for Kate to repeat to Rhylee Gerber that Ashton Pienaar blamed her for the fishing episode. Should Kate have spoken to Captain Lee Rosbach to disavow Ashton’s claims? Absolutely, but sharing it with Rhylee directly, when the situation is already so irascible, smacked of Kate wanting to enact some revenge. Ashton deserved it, but the fall guy (or girl) here is now Rhylee.

Below Deck Rhylee Gerber

The atmosphere on Valor this season on Below Deck has been playing out like Mad Men on water.  The guys are all banding together to discredit any strong, independent female voices.  Bosun Ashton Pienaar is a ringleader of sorts, though without the fitted suits and classy martinis.  Instead, sloppy Smashton has been running campaigns against both Chief Stew Kate Chastain and his Third Deck Hand Rhylee GerberAnd seemingly under Ashton’s leadership, it’s been a bit of a “boys club” on board.

Ashton often voiced grievances against Rhylee with the rest of the deck crew, including Tanner Sterback and Brian de Saint Pern.  Most concerns, stemmed from his experience working with Rhylee last season.  Kate also became a target for her alleged elitist attitude and perceived favoritism from Captain Lee Rosbach.  Chef Kevin Dobson had his own beef with both of these ladies, and was happy to share his opinions at any opportunity.  But what of Captain Lee?  He’s driving the boat.  Are his actions contributing at all?

Kate Chastain Below Deck

This season of Below Deck is so utterly disappointed I’m actually dreading watching it. The unchecked misogyny is out of control and it’s disgusting the way almost the entire male crew is actively attempting to gaslight most of the female crew. The exception in both these cases seem to be Brian de Saint Pern and Courtney Skippon, who maybe are protected by a bubble of love. Or at least like. Like, that in Courtney’s case, is probably al dente.

After being physically threatened and screamed at by Ashton Pienaar in his drunken “Smashton’ state Kate Chastain has disappeared from the boat. She literally walks off into the night, telling the producers and film crew to fuck off.

I like to imagine production tracked Kate down and put her up in a 5-star hotel, then gave her a bonus a spa treatment. Kate must have felt incredibly afraid and uncomfortable to walk off into the night in a foreign country where she doesn’t speak the language or know anyone outside of the Super Yacht. The only person who is at all concerned and tries to stop her is Rhylee Gerber. And the next morning Rhylee is the only person who actually remembers what happened.

Kate Chastain Below Deck

I apologize for the delay in this recap, but I was suffused in a cookie-filled delirium that included nonstop holiday parties and preparations. With New Years Eve literally on the horizon, followed by our annual (MASSIVE) New Years Day brunch, I keep repeating to myself “Home Stretch!” Which is much like this season of Below Deck!

We are in the home stretch here and things are gonna get worse before they (hopefully) get better. In my case the thing that will get worse is my waistline! Please, please, please let some Good Samaritan break into my house and steal only the cookies, cakes, and other holiday treats before I turn into a marshmallow who roams around just absorbing other sweets until I am taking over the entirety of a grocery store in a mad quest for sugar.

Anyway, on with the show!