When it comes to the larger Below Deck universe, does anyone out there actually care all that much about drama between guests? That’s the question I kept returning to as I watched this week’s episode of Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Sure, it makes for good TV when they’re particularly obnoxious or memorable. (Think the Drewitt-Barlow family from earlier this season.) Or when they’re making things miserable for the crew with their wild antics. (I.e. Deloris going overboard for a midnight swim on last season of Below Deck.) But when the guests are busy fighting amongst themselves, I tend to check out. It’s just not that interesting in the context of the story any iteration of Below Deck is telling.
Apparently, Bachelor Nation alum Erica Rose and her friends didn’t get this memo. Or chose to ignore it in an effort to either A.) vie for camera time or B.) use this charter as their personal audition reel for the Real Housewives. As the episode opens, they’re still fighting over lunch, with one convinced that she’s being shunned by all her frenemies for…get this. Being the prettiest one in the group. For real. These guests are so vain and immature that their arguments sound like they should be happening in a middle school cafeteria. “Mom, can you come pick me up? Everyone’s picking on me because I’m the prettiest one at the sleepover!” Girl, please.
Nothing like a little chlamydia scare to add insult to injury, huh? This season of Below Deck Sailing Yacht just has everything. Love triangles! Ships crashing into the dock! Filming during a global pandemic! Sailing! Truly the only thing we’re missing is another Deloris jumping overboard to cap off the season. And hey, there are still two charters left, so there’s still time. But before we jump into the venereal-seeming elephant in the room, we need to talk about the boat. You know, the one that crashed into the dock at the end of last week’s episode?
Yes. So. Parsifal’s stern rather regrettably smashed right into the dock. And Captain Glenn Shephard is mad. No, more than mad. He’s furious. This is by far the most angry we’ve ever seen the laidback Canadian cap on either season. And for good reason. Because realistically, this is one of the worst accidents in Below Deck history. It’s worse than anchors getting tangled up. Or the tender breaking down. Frankly the only thing worse that’s ever happened was the time Ashton Pienaar nearly died. At least with this accident no one was injured.
Do we think Sydney Zaruba and Alli Dore are going to argue over Gary King in every episode of Below Deck Sailing Yacht? Because that’s what it’s starting to feel like. Last week, Gary couldn’t believe the women were fighting over him. This week I can’t believe the fight is still going. When confronted by Alli, Sydney claims she doesn’t have “any tears in her soul” for either of the love birds…right before she bursts into tears over them. And despite all the drama, Alli still ends up in Gary’s bed for the night.
The next morning, things are looking up because it’s the crew’s day off! In every iteration of Below Deck, the crew usually gets only one full day off per season, so it needs to be taken advantage of when it happens. Dani Soares and Jean-Luc Cerza Lanaux emerge from the master cabin in a hungover haze. Dani claims she doesn’t remember much of the night before. Including hooking up with Alli, which she chalks up to some drunken fun. And rather hilariously, Colin Macrae takes over the galley for the morning to teach Natasha De Bourg a thing or two about eggs. Hearing the chief engineer ask the chef if she knows what sunny side up is was easily the funniest line of the night.
Even though Carole Radziwill’s time on the Real Housewives of New York is long gone, she never shies away from a moment to share her opinion. But hey, she’s a writer girl, it’s in her blood. She’s flamed her ex-BFF Bethenny Frankel, shaded Tinsley Mortimer and said everyone on the cast was fake besides Dorinda Medley. Oh, and accused them of doing hard drugs on the show. For someone who is over being on Bravo, she sure talks about reality TV a lot.
And yesterday Carole decided to insert herself into some reality TV news that literally has absolutely nothing to do with her. Bachelor alum Colton Underwood came out as gay this week after appearing on the ABC dating show. He said he came to terms with his sexuality earlier this year and has been processing it.
Listen, I get it. The Vanderpump Rules kids (and their boss) are relentless when it comes to staying in the spotlight. They all want a name drop no matter what it’s attached to. That’s sort of what happens when a 7-year old show suddenly drops four cast members for racist behaviors. Especially when two of the four have been around since the beginning. Don’t forget they have suddenly hired relentless PR firms who are churning out any press that they can. All the while these assholes continue to whine about cancel culture. Let’s not even use names here, you all know who I’m talking about. I’m just as sick of seeing them mentioned too. Trust.
So on to some good news. James Kennedy is a year-plus sober. Tom Sandoval is endorsing a new make up line for men. Oh, and it looks like there’s a possible new cast member willing to step up and face this spiraling franchise.
We can’t cover every news story ourselves. Fortunately, there are a lot of great sources for reality TV news and gossip. Check out these links from some of our favorite sites in the April 16 edition of Thursday Morning Tea.
We can’t cover every news story ourselves. Fortunately, there are a lot of great sources for reality TV news and gossip. Check out these links from some of our favorite sites in the February 27 edition of Thursday Morning Tea.
Whether you agree with the results or not, the people have spoken. The People’s Choice Awards went down on November 10 and there were some big winners in the reality TV categories. And even the people who didn’t win showed up
to get some press enjoy the party.
I’m not gonna lie, I wish I got an invite because there were cast members from some of my favorite shows in attendance and I would just love to see them all interact. Real Housewives, Vanderpump Rules, The Bachelor, and Keeping Up With the Kardashians cast members showed up for the award show.