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Oh Lord.  Who knew that stripper-gate would be the scandal of our generation?  Somewhere Richard Nixon is laughing his arse off at all of this.  I gave up wishing the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey would go away in the off season, but doesn't it sound like such a nice break? 

We'll probably never know exactly what happened between Melissa Gorga and sister-in-law Teresa Giudice.  To be honest, I don't even care anymore.  At all.  Of course, the women think we do, so they're going to keep talking about until the next big drama occurs.  You do realize that means we'll be hearing about this until the show airs again, right?  That's kind of a long way off from now.  Yikes.

I know you're waiting with baited breath, so I'll get right to the point of this post.  Melissa takes to her Bravo blog to answer her fans' most burning questions.  It's deep y'all!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!

Teresa really needs to get the name and number of Melissa's publicist.  While it's quite obvious that Tre doesn't write her own blogs, Melissa's entries at least sound like her…especially since she continues to play the victim.  Seriously, these women should be the best of friends–they are so much alike!

Melissa writes, "It must be extremely frustrating not knowing a lot of the back story and the issues that went on with all of us way before the RHONJ even existed. The fact is we've always had our issues and the Joes have always had theirs. I do think we were all trying to fake it until we made it, but in the last year or so it's just all come to a head. I think the show is so successful, because what you’ve seen also goes on in so many of your own homes and with your own in-laws, cousins, siblings, and you understand where we are coming from."

The On Display singer then shares that she gets so many inquiries from her fans, and she really hates she can't answer each of them personally.  That whole wife, mother, aspiring pop singer thing totally takes up a lot of time.  She tackles the Danielle Staub fiasco, finagling her way onto the show (I actually believe her version…because it's what most normal people would do), and why she's moving.  Melissa also doles out a bunch of beauty and style advice, which I've spared you. You're welcome. 

Did I contact Danielle to get on the show?

NO! I've said it many times; she saw the sprinkle cookie story on Facebook and inboxed me. She did ask me to film with her, and I declined. Was it a little malicious? Yes. Teresa and I weren't even speaking at the time, and it wasn't because of the show. It was because of hurtful comments she used to say to me that I would constantly brush off. I always smiled at her and let it go. Yes, it sat in my head, and yes, a lot of the comments she used to make are very similar to the ones you've seen her say to me for the last two seasons. The thing is I never threw the first punch. I pretty much took anything she threw at me in the beginning. I'm a smart girl and I knew her type from Day 1, but this is my husband’s sister, so what was I supposed to do? I dealt with it…So did I speak to Danielle? Yes. Did I meet with Danielle? No. To this day I have never met Danielle in person.

Did I ever try to get on the show before I was asked to be on it?

NO! I never once asked Teresa to put me or my family on the show. I've never called a producer and there was no audition tape where we said we will “take down” Teresa. If I had, I probably wouldn't be on the show. They don't cast people who beg and promise malicious things. As you can see, there are many desperate people on Twitter begging to be on the show. None of them get cast. It's not Bravo's style. The more you want it, the less likely you are to get it. You didn't see a lot of us because of the circumstances I just described above. You want real talk. I remember when Teresa got offered the show. She was at my house for dinner and we were all discussing it as a family. Most were telling her not to do it. I told her to go for it. I said take the opportunity…The truth is a few years later the producers contacted me and we took that same opportunity.

Do I still think Teresa set me up?

Yes. Kim’s story has changed so many times since that night I can’t keep up. She did set me up, she didn’t set me up, there was no set up. Enough already. I think Kim D's reason is so ridiculous for wanting to hurt me. She is a 50-year-old woman that is coming at me for going to another boutique. Would Kim really put all this time and effort into this set up just because of that? By the way, Teresa also shops at the other Posh and Kim knows it. It was proven in the footage when Angelo said Teresa knew, because he also said "Kim and Teresa wanted me to do this thing." Come on, everyone, lets be reasonable, there were a lot of things falling in both of their laps that day…Kim D. comes to the reunion and admits Teresa knew it was a set up for me. It's all right there, and honestly I know in my heart what she was doing. It's written all over her face. Of course she was in on it. More importantly, why isn't Teresa mad at KIM? Why isn't she mad at her for doing this to her brother’s wife? Why isn't she upset with her for causing all this commotion when everything was so good between us?

Why am I selling my house?

There are some of the most ridiculous rumors out there that we can't afford it and that we are broke. Joe and I have worked very hard for many years to get where we are today. When we first started the show, we only owned one building. Now we own four or five. Joe was the only one bringing in money for the last few years, because I didn't work and I was with the kids. Now we are both bringing in money. Why on earth would anyone think we are in that position? It's just ridiculous. We do pay our mortgage and we are NOT broke. There is a wonderful thing called the internet where you can look up public records and find out what we paid for our house, the rate on our mortgage, pretty much everything. The truth is this: we put our house up to get away from the negativity. I have to protect my family. I don't want my children around anyone, including family that is speaking badly about me or trying to put me down. I see it happening already. I couldn't believe what my nieces were saying about me, and as the girls get older it will only get worse. Then they will begin to tell my children what they hear about me from their mother. I can't have that. I won't have it. If you bring Zia Teresa's name up to my children they never say a negative thing about her, and as long as I can help it they won’t. They know nothing about what is happening between us, and I would like to keep it that way for them as long as I can.

Hope that answers some of your questions. I'm really looking forward to this time off. My family needs it, and I truly believe time heals all wounds. Our family is not there yet. Joe and I still need some time to get over this. I don't know if I ever will, but for now I just need a break from all the craziness.

I don't know about you, but when I read her blog, it all sounds so normal.  It makes sense.  I find myself siding with Melissa…until I remember that I actually watched the season, and I know she's likely just a smarter and humbler (yes, I said it…and believe it to some degree) version of Teresa…which is precisely why she's able to do what she does so well–garnering sympathy is an art form with this one!

And, of course, Teresa has something to say about Melissa's "answers."  The Stir has Teresa's response to Melissa's reason for moving.  Teresa says, "I do think it’s sad that Melissa is using my children and me as an excuse as to why she’s moving. Our children won’t even be going to the same school with each other until 6th grade so that’s five years that she has that she can still live in the house if that really is the issue. My brother has made a studio for her and is even making a pool yet they are moving out of this 'dream home' because of me and my children? If that were really the case, she would go on another show and wouldn’t be on the same show with me."

She has to take every moment she can to call out her sister-in-law for being a liar, doesn't she?  Oddly enough, Teresa's explanation also sounds plausible which means one of two things…1) both of these women are bat-shiz crazy and they are so good at twisting things to make them sound believable OR 2) I'm totally losing it.  I'll let y'all be the judge!

TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MELISSA'S BLOG?  IS SHE SYMPATHETIC OR SIMPLY BETTER WITH WORDS THAN TRE?

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