From drunken ice cream to sex toys shenanigans to broke down baby dolls falling out of windows… I can't decide if Big Rich Atlanta is starting to come together and find a personality or just a hot mess. Either way, it's hilarious.
This week's episode of Big Righ Atlanta begins with the big girl version of an after school snack. Only, Harvin Eadon and Meyer Eadon don't go to school. Or work. I don't know what the Eadon sisters do all day, really, other than be awesome. So, their "after a grueling afternoon of being awesome" snack is ice cream sandwiches dipped in blue gatorade/vodka/sprite.
Harvin says it's the new milk and cookies, and Meyer quips, "If you were a cookie, you'd be a whoreo." Laughter and mischief ensue.
Out of the blue drink's influence, Harvin comes to realize that Virginia Kolb is having too much fun these days, adding, "I have maj curiosity about what's going on in her sex life." When you're curious, like Curious Harvin, you put on a pair of latex gloves and search your mama's bedroom. Harvin's reward? Drawer after drawer and box after box of sex toys. OMG, Mama Goose!
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Meyer wants nothing to do with her sister's antics. Um, more like, Meyer enjoys the show, blue drink in hand, but doesn't want to get her hands dirty. Pun not intended. Harvin teases Meyer with what looks like a feather duster, though I'm sure its purpose is much dirtier, and Meyer accidentally spills her blue drink on Virginia's bed. While the girls scramble to clean up the mess, something in Virginia's box of toys stars vibrating. Meyer screams, "Harvin, turn it off!" Harvin yells back, "I don't know which one it is!"
Latex gloves or no latex gloves, I don't think I'd ever enter Mama Goose's bedroom again. Not even to deliver a stack of clean laundry. Some things are better left secret – right, Bon of Big Rich Texas?
Meanwhile, Hot Mama (and obviously very satisfied) Virginia meets Mike of Cougars Night Out fame for lunch. Mike is still very into Virginia, but she doesn't want to be robbing anyone's cradle. Instead, Virginia tells Mike about Meyer, saying, "If I could give somebody as a gift, I'd like to give her to you. But don't tell her you kissed me."
Next, Meagan McBrayer and Marcia Marchman shop for costumes for Marcia's annual Halloween / birthday party. Marcia shows her daughter a few funky (ie, lame) costumes, hoping to lead her away from the sexier ones, but Meagan isn't impressed.
What does impress Meagan? She later finds that her habitually late friends, Harvin and Meyer, are early for a lunch date. Clearly, Harvin and Meyer are afraid to return to the house full of vibrating sex toys, and they had no other place to go. Meagan shares her third world Big Rich Atlanta problems – she has a furry hat and furry leg warmers but no corn to make a unicorn – le sigh. Thankfully, Harvin and Meyer once dressed up as duplicorns (shocking, I know) and offer to lend Meagan a corn. All is right in the socialite's world again.
Then, Meagan ruins the good mood, informing Harvin and Meyer that Marcia has invited Sharlinda Parker, Brie Rowe, and Kahdijiha Rowe to the Halloween party. Meyer says, "Why?! They suck!" Harvin goes on to tell Meagan about their situation with Daryll Manning, adding, "It hurt our feelings."
On the couch, Harvin says, "I thought Sharlinda, Daryll, all of them were all about business. Awfully funny how it's all of a sudden turned personal." (I agree.) Virginia, "I know, but it's not that hard to say I'm sorry." Meyer, "Do you want me to throw up in my mouth…" Harvin, "…and swallow it?"
This is going to go well.
Next, Katie Davidsoncontinues to agonize about firing Marcia despite never hiring Marcia. Again, it's more third world Big Rich Atlanta problems, at least until the friends talk it out and make up. Over lunch, Virginia tells Katie that she wants to recharge her sex life (it already seems quite healthy to me) by having vodka collagen shot into her G-spot. It's a thing, apparently, and I'm fairly certain that goody two-shoes Katie is in shock.
While Katie recovers, rocking back and forth in the corner of her cold and sterile bedroom, from her afternoon with Virginia, Marcia talks to Sharlinda about the drama that she doesn't want at her Halloween party. Sharlinda says, "Did you bring me out for this walk to tell me how to behave?" Marcia is like, I just want to know if there's going to be drama. I'm like, Marcia, honey, the last ten minutes of the show always has drama. You should have scheduled your party for the thirty minute mark if you wanted to keep the drama at a minimum.
Sharlinda assures her friend that she plans to have a great time and will be fine around Virginia. Then, before Marcia gets too hopeful, she adds, "Meyer's ass – that big ass mouth that she has – now she's gonna get her teeth knocked out. She's very disrespectful." Oh boy. On her couch, Marcia says, "That's not called for under any circumstance. You don't threaten someone with physical harm. It's not acceptable." At the end of the day, Sharlinda says she will address it in a very professional manner (like she handled the art show?) but that Marcia might want to have security there (if it makes her feel better).
A recovered Katie goes with Virginia to get the G-shot for her G-spot. Funny stuff. The paperwork alone makes Katie uncomfortable. On the way out, Virginia says the G-shot was a piece of cake compared to her Botox injections.
Back at the Eadon estate, Virginia moves forward with Operation Mike and Meyer, much to her daughter's dismay. Meyer isn't having it, saying, "Unless he looks like Magic Mike, I'm not going." Virginia tells her daughters that they act more like an old married couple than two young, hot, available females and begs them to keep an open mind. Harvin responds, "Mom, you better come up with a better game plan than to, like, hook her up with someone you put your mouth on." Virginia says she merely took Mike for a test drive. Meyer is not impressed.
Party time! Marcia dresses as a peacock, saying, "They're kinda cocky, and that's the way I'm going to be at my party." Shocker – Katie is a Southern belle. While Meagan's unicorn is super cute, it shows a lot of skin, irritating her mama when she's already feeling cocky.
Meanwhile, Virginia pushes her damaged broke down babies up to the house in a broke down stroller. When the going gets too tough, she goes to the party, leaving Harvin and Meyer on the sidewalk. When Marcia goes outside to check on them, she shrieks, "Are y'all dead babies or alive babies?!?" She tries to pull them out of the stroller but she nearly rips their heads off when their bows get stuck together. Katie points and laughs at the mess. Needless to say, Harvin and Meyer make quite an entrance, and everyone loves their costumes. Well, not everyone, as Sharlinda just complains that they didn't talk to her the very second they entered the party.
Virginia eventually manages to get Meyer and Harvin to sit down in front of the firing squad with Sharlinda, along with Kahdijiha and Brie, to talk about the art show. Meyer begins, telling Sharlinda that she felt "laid out" by the coward comment, to which Sharlinda says, "Mrs. Virginia, your daughters are emotional roller coasters." Virginia sticks up for Harvin, saying that the art was off limits, and Harvin admits that she felt insecure in the spotlight. Sharlinda responds, "I believed in you more than you believed in yourself." Meyer attempts to explain their point of view, saying, "It was very surface for you. It was very deep for us."
Harvin speaks up, "When you guys look at us, y'all look at us as inadequate, irresponsible, lazy, stupid, immature. I hate being around people that I feel look down on me." Kahdijiha counters, "How about this? Then just stop being around us. I feel like, at this point, it either works or it doesn't." The bitch faces on Sharlinda and Brie are way too much. Meyer walks out. On the couch, Harvin reiterates that She Blames Me is about leaving your critics in the rear view mirror, adding, "We don't need Daryll, and we certainly aren't going to jump through all these little hoops. She Blames Me is not about compromising about what we believe in. We're not compromising. Not now, not ever."
The Halloween party proves to be too much for the sisters. Between Sharlinda and Mike, which ends with him and Virginia leaving the party together, I'm not surprised when Harvin and Meyer jump ship. I am surprised, however, that they leave via a window. Meagan catches Harvin mid jump. When Meagan questions what's happening, Harvin deadpans, "I'm escaping."
Come on, Meagan! Did you need to ask? I mean, who leaves a party through the front door these days?!?
Harvin gracefully jumps. Meyer falls out, crashing down on top of her sister, and Harvin yells, "You don't know how to do anything!" Free and ready to flee, Harvin and Meyer spy Mama Goose and Mike. Poor young and unsuspecting Mike… I hope he can handle Mama Goose's sex toys.
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