Princesses Long Island Recap: Broccoli, Bling, And The Best Man

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It's never a dull moment with the girls of Princesses: Long Island.  Last night there was more girl drama and PDA to go around, but thankfully the ladies refrained from drink throwing and ugly cry mode.  They're really maturing, aren't they?

Joey Lauren, Amanda Bertoncini, and Erica Gimbel decide to go on a run, and I think it's time for Erica to invest in a sports bra.  I'm also super curious as to what Amanda is wearing on her bottom half.  The girls dish about Chanel Omari's bizarre behavior at Amanda's Drink Hanky party, and Joey questions Ashlee White's snobbery.  She gets teary when she hears that Ashlee tried to get Erica and Amanda not to like her.  While Amanda likes Ashlee, she knows her friend looks down on Joey for not coming from money.  Erica and Amanda give Joey tips on how to compose a mature text to Ashlee to resolve their differences.

Meanwhile, Chanel is channeling her inner SJP circa Square Pegs and meeting with her rabbi in some very Mo Rocco shades.  She needs his guidance after her breakdown at the white party.  He basically tells her to suck it up and show restraint in the face of drink throwing asshats, although he's much more eloquent.  When she expresses her fears over never marrying, he urges her to use Jewish history as inspiration to know that nothing is impossible.  I may need to schedule a session with Rabbi Cohen.

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With Erica's doubts about their relationship and Rob's jealousy and insecurities, the natural next step for the couple would be to move in together.  It's time for house hunting!  The pair is looking at giant homes on the water, and Erica is still unsure about her feelings, although having a pool helps.  It's only a little over a million dollars.  Chump change.  When the realtor starts showing them all the kids' rooms, Erica starts to sweat.  No drinking for nine months?  Who voluntarily does that??

Amanda and Jeff are meeting his parents for lunch, and I am thrilled that I finally have a platform to discuss Jeff's nauseating creepiness.  His parents are adorable, and Amanda has a Kosher slip when she orders cheese.  The  couple begins admiring the antique ring on Jeff's mother's finger, and Amanda is hoping that she'll just hand it over so Jeff can propose right then and there.  Between forced laughter and licking Amanda's face, Jeff makes sure that Amanda truly, truly loves his grandmother's setting.  Foreshadowing much?

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Chanel's family is trying to set her up with her sister's fiance's best man who is bringing Chanel a plethora of bridesmaids dresses to to try on for a fashion show.  He's telling her how sexy she is and complimenting her body, but I get the feeling that he may play for the other team.  He asks her family for permission to take her out on a first date while she's in the midst of a Lady Gaga wardrobe change.

Ashlee and her fabulous parents (who remind me of human Monchichis-remember those?) are getting ready for a casual dinner to introduce new friend Casey Cohen to the family.  Casey arrives with a tiny cake and and a tank top-cape hybrid, and the friends talk smack about Joey to Ashlee's parents.  Papa Hal gives his stamp of approval on new biffle Casey.

Erica and Amanda are boozing and bathing on the beach.  Don't hate because they are tan and have big boobs.  Don't worry.  I'm not.  They complain about parents and boyfriends while applying lotion with no redeeming SPF qualities.  Erica shares that Rob wants to move in together, but upon hearing more, Amanda is worried her friend may shack up with a dude who annoys her when he tries to be affectionate.  She can't relate as she can't take her hands off Jeff.  Sadly, we know.

Poor Chanel is out on her date with the best man.  She's not super excited to be in Brooklyn, and he wonders if she's feeling pressure that her younger sister is getting married before her.  Chanel starts to warm to the little guy until he starts chatting about the role of the wife as a housekeeper.  I hate that Chanel can't catch a break in the dating pool!

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Amanda is sharing some quality time with mom Babs who reminds me of a Jewish, blonde Kris Jenner minus the daughter pimping and extra millions.  Babs wants to be number one in her daughter's life…Jeff takes a distant second.  Amanda's mom actually makes some great points…her daughter shouldn't jump the gun since she's only been with Jeff for six months.  Her daughter is beautiful and entrepraneurish.  Yes.  Amanda accuses her mom of being jealous that of her relationship.  All Babs is asking is for Amanda to date Jeff at least a  year before getting married.  I think that Babs is actually the voice of reason!

Joey and Ashlee are meeting to rehash their drama at the drink hankie event.  When Joey pointedly asks about why Ashlee doesn't like her, Ashlee sips on her plethora of drinks while contemplating.  Ashlee reminds Joey that she's always picked at her, although she can't pinpoint any particular events.  Joey then flies off the handle and tells Ashlee that Erica has shared the text messages where Ashlee warned Erica about being friends with Joey.  Of course, Joey won't let Ashlee explain either.  They are just cutting one another off while spewing middle school insults.  Fabulous!

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Joey dishes a low blow by calling Ashlee funny looking, and Ashlee storms out, but not before paying for both of their tabs.  Keeping it classy, Ashlee.  Joey quickly get on the phone to share her faux pas with Amanda while Ashlee calls up her dad.  As Ashlee takes her funny-looking self home, Joey calls up Amanda again in tears.  She's concerned that she's given Ashlee even more ammo to move ahead with her "Joey's a Bad Person Campaign," and all I can say to that is, "um, well YOU DID!"  I feel kind of badly for Joey.  She just wants to fit in with these girls, although she's totally going about it the wrong way!

Next week, Erica drops the bomb on her parents that she's thinking of moving in with Rob while a game of "Never Have I Ever" reveals that Ashlee may still be a virgin.  Joey's dad wants her to get her own place, and Chanel's younger sister walks down the aisle.

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[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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