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“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” season 4 and “Vanderpump Rules” season 2 Cross-over premiere

Aaaaahhhh Kyle Richards. Good ole' Splits, she obviously takes the lessons of Mean Girls' head bitchtress Regina George as gospel because she's starting off this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on the wrong Louboutin-clad foot! 

Kyle admits that things with Lisa Vanderpump were rocky and she was anxious to once again try to work past their issues – until Lisa's Louboutin clad-food crossed the line! Lisa and Kyle had "not spoken since the Reunion last year" when they met in her kitchen to discuss the most illustrious parties to end all illustrious amazing parties: the Chamber of Commerce fete! All hail the great excitement capitulators in grey suits and one Kyle clad in a too-tight bumblebee dress!

"The accusations hurled at Mauricio were so offensive and calculated that there really wasn't anything to say. I said how I felt at the reunion and left it at that," Kyle explains in her Bravo Blog.

"We have all had lies printed about us and we all know that when you are on a reality show and putting your lives out there this can happen. But we also know that the last thing we would want to do is bring it up to give these lies a platform and make us relive this again in six months — which is what I am having to do now."

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teresa-giudice-in-touch

Hey if you've been in a time warp the last few months and haven't heard, Teresa Giudice got indicted on 39 counts of fraud y'all! You know, no big! 

Anyway, Teresa says she plans to continue with her career on Real Housewives of New Jersey and as for accusations that she's not taking her legal situation seriously, she said putting on a stoic face is all for the sake of her children. 

“Look — every family has problems. Nobody’s perfect,” Teresa tells In Touch Weekly (does she have a contract with them again?!). “I have to be strong for my kids.” Yeah, nobody's perfect but most of us imperfect people manage to avoid allegedly defrauding the government of millions. Teresa and Joe have plead not guilty and plan to contest the situation in a trial scheduled for this February. 

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Nightclub And Bar Convention

Well Vicki Gunvalson's latest court shenanigans should make for interesting TV! 

The Real Housewives of Orange County star was sued, un-sued, and then re-sued by her Vicki's Vodka partner Robert Williamson III. In response Vicki is not backing down from the man Brooks Ayers attempted to blackmail (and kill?) – allegedly – and is demanding a federal jury trial to determine who is responsible for the collapse of the partnership. Um… 

Vicki claims she naively believed Robert was a competent business partner and that she was too trusting of his motives and behaviors. “Mr. Nicholson (Vicki's other partner) and Ms. Gunvalson believed everything Mr. Williamson said about his ability to help capitalize the business and distribute the vodka.”

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kris-jenner-joan-rivers

Poor Kris Jenner wants everyone to know she's not the evil pimp momager we think she is! 

Speaking to Joan Rivers on In Bed With Joan, Kris admits to being devastated when the news of Kim Kardashian's sex tape with then-boyfriend Ray J leaked.

"I literally fell apart," the Keeping Up With The Kardashians mom admits. “I cried myself to sleep. I don't think anything can prepare you for something like that when it comes to your daughter."

Kris said that she withdrew for a few days before deciding to be strong for Kim and her whole family. And thus the Kardashian kingdom was born. Thank goodness for serendipity I suppose… "I'm somewhat a religious person – and I keep that to myself," Kris says. Lest you forget she owns a church… "So I live a certain way and I feel a certain way and I pray for my kids everyday. I'm so in love with my family life; and that hits me, you know, up the side of the head and I literally fell apart." 

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rhoa-recap-nene

You know, I gotta hand it to NeNe Leakes she has learned from her mistakes and grown from them. Case in point, last season she gave Kenya Moore a chance but she has since seen the error of her ways and is henceforth intolerant of such "foolishness"! You and me both, Ms. Leakes!

Additionally I'm proud of NeNe for not going bizonkers when Kenya grabbed her ear during this Sunday's episode of Real Housewive of Atlanta. Somewhere in her massive mcmansion that is used but not really used Kim Zolicak's mouth is still hanging open in shock as she relives the Miami Tour Bus Meltdown – BLOOP, BLOOP! 

Discussing the season premiere, NeNe is happy to be back, but not so happy to be forced to deal with Krayonce, nor her questioning NeNe's intentions when it came to her wedding guest list!

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“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” season 4 and “Vanderpump Rules” season 2 Cross-over premiere

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back! And with it our ladies of wealthy, illustrious shade! Yolanda Foster's lemontastic words of wisdom leave just the right amount of tartness to make an impact. 

Getting down to the business of things like say, Chamber of Commerce parties, Yolanda wonders what Kyle Richards' motives for cozying up to Lisa Vanderpump are especially since Kyle doesn't seem to think too kindly of her former friend. 

"It’s nice to see Kyle in her store and working to succeed in the Beverly Hills business world. It didn’t seem like she quite understood the purpose of the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce," Yolanda begins in her Bravo Blog

"There are so many catering services in this town. The fact that she is choosing to hire Lisa’s restaurant, SUR, to do her party is once again a clear example of first degree ass kissing and maybe the greatest lie of all! Even her own daughter is pointing this out to her. What kind of message does that send to her children? She belittles Lisa and then turns around and pretends nothing ever happened. It’s all so fake and confusing to me." O-U-C-H. 

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rhom-recap

Last night Joanna Krupa made it down the aisle on Real Housewives of Miami, but not without some serious hijinks! Like oversleeping, missing her flight, and ending up on a cheeseball pseudo-dramatic roadtrip to San Diego with Lea Black driving like a bitch out of hell. 

After the epic bachelorette party, Joanna leaps out of bed in full makeup only to learn that she's tragically late. She rouses the other girls, whose lack of artifice make me think that perhaps they really did over-sleep. Lisa Hochstein and Joanna have forgiven each other for their drunken whore-gument the night before. Lisa is passed out on the floor or something and has no recollection of storming off the party bus after humping the open bar. Which is for the best. 

Everyone scrambles to get ready, choose the perfect accessories and 6" heels for travel, while Lea actually arranges said travel. They end up renting an SUV, getting stranded in the dessert when Fembot needs to stop to vomit up nuts, bolts, and silicone and Adriana de Moura attempts to pee against the wind in a flowy maxi dress and some serious stripper heels. Again, who wears that on a ROAD TRIP. It's called JEANS. Well at least everyone is having fun, not taking things too seriously, and joking about the drunken antics. 

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Vanderpump Rules - Season 2

Last night was the season premiere of Vanderpump RulesEveryone on this show needs a Lysol bath and a therapist for their narcissism.

Stassi Schroeder, Princess of Booze, Bitchiness, and Over-inflated Egos, has not changed one bit! She is now on a quest for world domination, something she plans to write the POTUS about. Stassi wants to make it a law that she has a pet zombie. I thought Jax Taylor was her pet zombie? 

Jax is still in loooourve with Stassi, but doing everything humanly (and zombie-ly) possible to screw it up. All Jax's groveling and begging her dad for forgiveness doesn't count if he's still planning on dipping his wick in the non-insane bitch ladies pool!

Other than JaxAssi acting JaxAssi-ish, Scheana Marie has gone full-fledged SWF nutty! Let's talk about her, shall we? In the off-season Scheana has devoted every moment of her life to worshipping Lisa Vanderpump and replacing Brandi as the object of Lisa's maternal affections. Can't Giggy have a baby already? Scheana has also decided Pandora is her BFF - and even better, they share a birthday. 

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