Hey guys – Kim Kardashian needs some superficial attention over her appearance again! What would this woman do without social media – I am frightened just imagining it!
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star boasted that Kanye West gifted her with a giant wall of now-wilting flowers for her first Mother's Day, and since Kim never wants to let an opportunity to self-promote go to waste, she staged a so-called impromptu photoshoot in a see-thru white dress (negligee?) in front of the giant floral obstruction!
This season there will of course be tons of focus on Teresa and Joe Giudice's impending indictment for fraud as the couple pretends to be attempts to prove they are innocent. Dina returns to be a shoulder for Teresa to cry on, but also struggles with her own divorce from husband Tommy.
Melissa and Poison will attempt to embark upon yet another career to stave off their own bankruptcy in the sanitation business as Melissa continues to pursue her passion for auto-tune singing. Also, Melissa's friend from the past, and new Housewife Amber, joins the cast to spread more Melissa rumors. Cause we haven't had this storyline for the past three seasons. YAWN!
New Housewives Nicole andTeresa are twins with an over-the-top Jersey style. And that includes their tempers! Bravo describes the season as shocking and says, "The six wives begin to form a strong bond, but when shocking rumors of infidelity and backstabbing surface, it threatens to tear their friendships to pieces."
Last night the fallout in the Berkshires continued! One might think if you, you know accidentally had a "knee jerk" reaction and threw a glass object at someone's face thus cutting them in the process, one might feel compelled to apologize. You know, sincerely.
One might assume since you just injured someone over the fact that they got your hair wet – hair that didn't look good to begin with and looked no worse after the horrific splashing that caused you to lash out and so aggressively you flung not only a glass object, but a boat oar at their face – you would feel some modicum of remorse. But alas, I presume none of us are Ramona Singer. So, yeah – logic does not apply. So that's what happened on last night's Real Housewives of New York.
After Ramona caused all this damage she faked a panic attack, lied, and got the hell out of dodge. You know what the most hysterical part in all of this is – Ramona is still trying to convince people she's classy. Oh girl… I think there's a whole chapter in Class With The Countess dedicated to you and explaining what it is you do that's not classy.
Aviva was missing from last week's Real Housewives of New York credits and will be for the next few weeks. Aviva was reportedly given a warning by producers and the network for refusing to attend cast trips and honor her contract. Aviva was "disciplined by producers" with a forced three-episode hiatus," a source tells Radar Online – basically they told her get in line or get out! I mean, "image consultant" Amanda Sanders was waiting in the wings, right?!
I don't know where MTV is finding the girls on this season's 16 And Pregnant, because each one has a more messed up situation than the next! I can only hope this is proof that the show is definitely lowering the teen pregnancy rate and fewer girls are in fact getting pregnant.
Last night 17-year-old Summer Rewis and her boyfriend DJ gave birth to son Peyton as they dealt with Summer's moms drug addiction and Peyton's health problems. Summer and DJ are from Collins, GA and need subtitles. Often. Summer is super cute and despite her rough childhood seems level-headed and sweet. She and DJ have a pretty stable relationship and I like them.
While Summer's mom is a hot mess, DJ's parents are very supportive and let the couple live with them while Summer completes high school and DJ goes to school to become a welder. Summer also has 3 younger half-sisters whom she's close with. One happens to be called Pookie, which I'm just gonna hope is a nickname. Another says she has feet that smell like Fritos.
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County all swore they weren't menopausal. In an effort to prove this they all reverted to acting like 10th graders who had ditched their chaperone on the high school field trip! Woo Hoo! Let's be bitches.
Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador have connected over their mutual crazy and empty love tanks. Shannon knows just how to temporarily fill hers and she's letting Vicki in on her little secret: Dr. Moon! They pay a visit to his office where Vicki gets acupuncture and demands to check her email because "work! work! work!" and relax-schmelax! She asks Dr. Moon when he's gonna fill up her love tank and he stuck his finger up her butt. I kid you not! Shannon said Dr. Moon "de-jammed it". I think I'd rather have an empty love tank…
Shannon and new bestie Vicki go get their nails done with Tamra Barney. "You need good nails," Vicki instructs. But apparently you don't need good plastic surgery or frizz free hair. Or good boyfriends. Tamra is still harping about this ugly sweater Christmas party and it was like so horrible having to wear a funky polyester themed sweater. My, my has she become snobby! Who does Tamra think she is – Heather Dubrow? Speaking of which, Tamra and Vicki complain about Heather's pretensions and arrogance. Shannon – so happy to have friends and so happy to feel loved and included (finally someone likes her besides vodka!) – decides she too has a problem with how condescending Heather is. I mean there was that one time Heather snickered about Shannon putting diamonds in her teeth.
Ramona's self-centered nonsense began at the dinner party Heather hosted for the husbands, to which Ramona brought not one but two hubbies: Mario and her "g-usband" (gay husband). "She shows up with an un-announced guest! I am not a stickler for the rules, but geez!" Heather laments.