Oh good lord – it's as if the reality TV gods realized all had been quiet on the Real Housewives of New Jersey front because now comes swirling rumors of a casting shakeup.
Now bear in mind these rumors come from RadarWrong-line so they may or may not be true, but here comes an exclusive report detailing who's in and who's out for season 5.
The most surprising news regardsTeresa Giudice. Now regardless of whether you like Teresa or not Bravo knows she brings ratings and controversy – she's basically been the plot and main character of this show for two seasons now. Apparently Joe Giudice's legal problems have become the make or break item that determines if Teresa will return – or if she'll be getting a spinoff!
Why you ask? She was waiting on the footage as confirmation for what really happened. "Joanna is not just going to take this," a source tells RadarOnline. "She's reached out to one of Florida's most powerful attorneys to better understand her legal options after being punched in the face." Oh, brother…
Marta The source continues, "Not only did Adriana punch her in the face, it took all of Joanna’s strength to hold on to Adriana as she was trying to break free and grab a broom that Krupa believes she was going to hit her with." The broom! That broom! Where did it come from. I guess all witches need a broom.
This week on RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race the queens played homage to the ladies of girl group fame. And nobody melts a drag queen's heart (or mine!) like Diana Ross! Girl groups for-ev-ah!
Thing start out with a little SheMail and then Ru appears in the workroom to let the girls know it's time to get their cheer on. The mini challenge is all about Cheer-Reading where the queens have to make a rhyme that throws shade at their opponents. Given that the remaining queens is all nicies and Miss Congenialities there was about as much shade as a Phoenix summer – well except for where Yarlexis is concerned.
It seems there is a lingering vendetta that the two girls shouldn't be the shining star of the judges eyes last week and they get hassled over their language skills, but it was all in all pretty tame. It reminded me of that 80's music video "Hey Mickey!" That's how cutsie pie this was.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies bored us to death and then got crotchety and bitchy at Portia's fourth birthday party. I don't know about you, but I always aim to get my drunk on and cause some trouble near the ring-around-the-faux-unicorn corral. Don't step in the shit, girls!
Before all that there were Househusbands in heels, some really bizarre timing, and a peace offering tree trunk that landed like deadweight and the fall was heard round the BH. Oh, and stage moms from hell! Weeee!
Watching this show makes me think that the zombie apocalypse will come from fillers and Botox eating the brains of the living and causing us to look like melted wax-faced drones incapable of moving our faces and conveying emotions. Brainless and melty faced, the streets of Beverly Hills will be filled with ladies hobbling around similarly to the way Paul Nassif and Mauricio Umansky did in their heels.
So things begin with Kyle Richards and Adrienne Maloof spending my yearly paycheck on clothes for Portia. Is $300 the standard budget for a birthday present there or is this just price inflation at work because four-year-olds spill a lot and do not need zillion dollar wardrobes (or birthday parties).
Of course the real reason for this shopping trip had absolutely nothing to do with poor scapegoated Portia; the real reason was so Adrienne could talk about her nemesis, Lisa Vanderpump. Apparently Adrienne is ready to put the past behind her but Lisa is unwilling to forgive, that makes Lisa "childish."
Adrienne claimed her six-year-old son Christian had several broken fingers after being with Paul and she not only took him to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, but she involved LA Child Services to investigate the matter!
According to TMZ, Adrienne told doctors the injuries were sustained when Paul and their son were "playfully kicking each other" and then Paul pushed Christian to the ground causing the injuries.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, things took a turn for the dour. Lets just say there were a lot of tears and too few drunken antics, but sometimes a little Housewives Xanax is needed after all the insanity!
Things begin with Joanna Krupa getting her charity on and thankfully she's not exposing her pubes to raise awareness this time. This time, she's competing in a charity volleyball game. Joanna + bikini = $$. Karent Sierra and Lisa Hochstein are cheering her on – and curiously absent is Romain Zago.
A somber Joanna fills them in on the grim reality post boobnight bitchslap. Although Romain and Joanna are still technically living together they barely speak and he works overtime to avoid her.
Joanna takes to the court and is surprisingly good. For some odd reason I was expecting it to be a gobsmackingly appalling performance. And after the match Romain arrives to show his better late than never version of support. They decide to go have a chat because I mean who doesn't want to have a personal and heartfelt conversation about their relationship in public, at a sporting event?
Oh,Real Housewives of Atlanta is not disappointing this season, is it? These ladies decided to bring their A-game, shake things up, and screw with the conventional norms. Behold, NeNe Leakes has suddenly undergone some sort of an Oprah/Iyanla reinvention and is above petty drama and all about peace, love, and miniature people friendships.
And Cynthia Bailey is now in your face, cutting claws, and getting catty. And who else is switching things up? Why Kandi Burruss! Apparently love brings out her sassy side.
In addition to all this fuckery we are also forced to contend with Kenya Moore. And Kenya Moore is certifiable. I mean girl, really – you thought reality TV was the best outlet for your mental instability? Or perhaps lady is just really, really trying to score some Academy Award winning acting gigs…
Well it finally happened! Royce Reed is officially dunzo with Basketball Wives. Amid rumors that she along with Jennifer Williamshad been fired from the show after the tumultuous season 4, Royce confirmed yesterday that she is, in fact, leaving the show.
Royce announced the news on twitter where she explained to fans she won't be returning next season.