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Somebody really, really doesn't like "that Palin daughter" (to quote my friend Liz). Apparently Bristol Palin was dancing her sequined butt-off for rehearsal of Dancing With The Stars All Stars when a "suspicious package" arrived. 

At first Bristol was all like, 'For me?! I have a fan! Happy Day!' but then Bristol realized she no likeied by anyone because the package contained a note demanding Bristol be removed from the set! Spurned former DWTS loser, perhaps? Perhaps someone that actually deserved to be in the final three last time but was beat when weirdo Palin-lovers clogged the phone lines voting in vain to redeem their fallen idol, Sarah?!

Sources report to TMZ that a note was attached to a "white-powdery package" and the note read (in paraphrase): "This is what will happen to you if Bristol Palin stays on [the show]."

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It’s that time again! Reality Tea’s Booze ‘N Books Club! With zillions of reality stars – and new ones popping up every second – and each one with something to sell, we here at Reality Tea decided to test out some of these fetes of literary greatness. And what goes better with books that are badly written than cocktails? So we thought we’d try something fun and review some of these gems!

Each month Reality Tea will be reviewing both a book and a cocktail. Last month we reviewed NeNe Leakes' Never Make The Same MIstake Twice. And for cocktails we did the great Real Housewives of Atlanta Moscato-off. In case you weren't aware Kim Zoliciak and Cynthia Bailey both offer their own versions of the wine, and NeNe allegedly has (had?) one. 

This month we're branching out and offering another network the opportunity to hawk some swag and reviewing Evelyn Lozada's Inner Circle: The Wives Association. And because surprisingly – very surprisingly given their propensity for drunken antics – none of the ladies of Basketball Wives offers a cocktail, we're reviewing Melissa Gorga's Voli Lyte Vodka. The ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey are inundated with bottled beverages it seems. 

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REVIEWS!

We didn't report on this sooner, because well, TheDirty makes us feel dirty. Ewww… However, the other day the website famous for outing people's dirty laundry – whether true or not – reported that Real Housewives of Miami star and supermodel Joanna Krupa was a former high-priced escort before her modeling career took off. 

Nik Richie, owner of TheDirty (who also famously exposed Gretchen Rossi's affair while finance Jeff Beitzel was terminally ill) wrote a post titled "Joanna Krupa Is a Confirmed Hooker."

The post claimed to have proof that Joanna was a high class prostitute of the Elliot Spitzer variety who would bang zee menfolk for a pricey $10,000 a romp. Then of course Maxim Magazine discovered her existence and poof – no more prostitution whore!

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This is both hilarious and sad. On Tuesday, Sahara Davenport passed away of heart failure leaving behind very sad friends and family. In an homage to the RuPaul's Drag Race star,  TV Guide ran a story on Sahara's passing. Unfortunately the photograph included with the piece was not Sahara's, but former Real Housewives of Atlanta star Sheree Whitfield!

A photo of Sheree's mistaken identity is below!

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Kate Gosselin has been desperate for fame and attention ever since her reality show Kate Plus 8 was canceled. Well, now she's got it!

Recently Kate has been the subject of an unsavory tell-all book accusing Kate of child abuse among other damning things. Amazon was forced to pull the book after lawyers for Kate insists it is filled with invalidated, untrue information – and information which has been obtained from illegal means. 

Author Robert Hoffman disputes those claims, insisting the material for Kate Gosselin: How She Fooled The World was procured legally and with thorough investigation. Robert claims he interviewed dozens of people connected with Kate and found her computer hard drive in the trash. 

Well now sources are alleging that Robert, who happens to be friends with Jon Gosselin, got all his information from one source – and once source only: Jon! 

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Last week was a sad, sad week indeed. One of my favorite drama-seeking, delusional, Jimblob hugging, goofballs with a heart of gold and brain of hairspray decided to flee the coop and leave Real Housewives of Orange County!

Oh Alexis Bellino… why? Why you do this to me? Who will be the burst of ridiculous in a sea of bitches who take themselves way, way too seriously? I blame Gretchen Hiss-tine Bootay for this! To commemorate one of my favorite delusional blondes with boobs as big as the Hollywood Hills I now present, Jesus Barbie: A Retrospective. Let’s recap some of Alexis’ greatest moments, shall we?

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Apparently there are A-LOT of women formerly married to A (or A-ish) Listers who are desperate for some reality TV fame of their own! Hot on the heels of the success of Hollywood Exes, TLC – the network that has brought us every wedding show imaginable and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo – is deciding they want to get in on the action.

According to The Huffington Post, the network just began production on a show tentatively titled "Starter Wives," which basically follows the exact same premise as Hollywood Exes. Focusing on the lives of seven women – once married or baby mamas to big names – who will reveal what their lives look like post break-up. 

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Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of New York and as you well know by now Season Finale is a euphemism for fights, meltdowns, and histrionic antics. 

Yep, surreptitious nonsense was the mantra last night as the ladies desperately tried to out-rude each other and deny any infractions once caught. Ok, so not everyone was an outright embarrassment to humanity, but at least three people were! Lets here if for LuAnn de Lesseps – our countess of redemption. She actually behaved semi-classy and um, like, normal-ish last night. 

So Carole Radziwill, the le chillest Housewife ever is having some sort of charity ping pong party. Seriously – last night was just events cubed. It was events, events, events – and trips – that's all this whole season was. Which I guess is fine if that's how these women live their lives. It's certainly better than labor and delivery room footage, I suppose. 

Carole invited everyone and she's hoping her culottes, borrowed from Lee Radziwill's 1956 summer camp closet, will scare everyone into behaving. It sort of worked – either that or everyone collectively and separately likes Carole enough to keep it in check – at least temporarily. Aviva Drescher arrives with an agenda. And that agenda was to talk about herself at length and dominate all conversations with a litany of complaints about Pinot Singer

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