Abby Lee Miller has taken the ALDC back to Los Angeles, which, for us dear viewers, means a week free from Candy Apples scripted craziness. That’s enough for me! It’s the little things. Last night’s episode of Dance Moms begins with the entire troupe in Lala Land, and Melissa brags that MacKenzie was chosen to go with Abby on a recent studio scouting expedition. All of the moms hope that this time on the West Coast will go much more smoothly than the last time. Jill reveals that Kendall wants to work on her music (she’s got the voice for it), and Abby has promised that she will focus on a music video for sweet Kendall. Of course, Jill knows not to rely on what has been said in the past.
At rehearsal, Abby is strangely chipper and excited for this week. Abby is ready to work on Kendall’s dancing, and Jill interrupts to remind her that she’s spread thin as far as contracts and deals go. Abby tersely reminds Jill that she’ll do her best. Holly understands Jill’s struggle (it’s real, y’all), and she apologizes in advance if Nia takes some time away to work on a music video courtesy of Aubrey O’Day. Abby is all kittens, rainbows, and unicorns about Nia’s opportunity, but she reminds her dancers that they have cell phones…if something comes up that she isn’t privy to, they should dial her immediately. Holly gets the message loud and clear, and Jill hopes the women’s relationship is on the mend.
Former Dance Moms victims unite! Last week Kelly Hyland scored a victory against Abby Lee Miller when the assault charges against her were dismissed! Cheering on Kelly’s victory is Christi Lukasiak, mom of Chloe, who stated that if viewers knew the true story behind Abby and Kelly’s altercation they would understand how Kelly went so far as to tug Abby’s Bump-it!
When a viewer asked Christi to clarify what her tweet meant she answered, “It means don’t believe everything you see on television.”
Well that didn’t take very long! Just a little over a year and a half ago, Abby Lee Miller fell victim to an atrocious attack which was not in the least bit provoked by Miller herself. Nope. Not one bit.
I’m sure all of you Dance Moms viewers (I hesitate to say fans, as I feel y’all, like me, watch out of sheer horror and weird fascination) remember the episode that aired in November of 2013 when Kelly Hyland had had enough of Abby’s hatefulness towards her two daughters. As she pointed in Abby’s face, screaming, Abby retaliated by acting as if she was going to bite of Kelly’s finger. If you need a refresher, I’ve posted a clip.
As a native Pennsylvanian, I must admit the latest Abby Lee Miller news is making me do a happy dance – a dance that would not likely make the cut in Abby Lee’s eyes, I’m sure. But a happy dance nonetheless! Because, my friends: Abby is moving to LA! And taking her studio – and her show – with her.
According to TMZ, Dance Momsstar Abby Lee is “bringing her east coast, in-your-face style to the west coast … and setting up shop in L.A.” She’ll be sharing the same studio that Dancing with the Stars uses for their rehearsals while she waits for her very own studio space to be completed. Much like the Red Room in 50 Shades of Grey, Abby’s new studio will surely be tricked out with the torture devices and pleather-ish decor that reflect her “particular taste.”
Thanks for tuning in to episode 1,000,314 of this season’s Dance Moms. You, like myself, must be a total glutton for punishment! Abby Lee Miller was up to her old tricks again, although this time she wasn’t yelling. Instead she was incessantly praising her star Maddie. Don’t get me wrong, I think Maddie is ridiculously talented and it’s not her fault her teacher alienates her with favoritism. However, it was a bit odd given that Maddie wasn’t present on last night’s episode to receive said praise. After a successful competition last week, the girls are missing Maddie who is performing on SNL with Sia. Melissa hates that she isn’t in New York with her daughter but she has to be there to support her other daughter…what’s her name? Oh, yeah, MacKenzie. I may just call her Maddie’s sister to make it easier. After all, that seems to be how everyone else refers to her.
Abby congratulates the team on a clean sweep and cites that it’s quite a big deal she’s chosen to be in Philly with them instead of in the Big Apple with Maddie. Jessalyn is excited to be returning to LA in a week now that JoJo has a team jacket. What a tease! The previews insinuated they were heading back to L.A. this week! How long are they trying to make this season? Is it lasting until 2018? Abby reminds her team that they are pretty much nothing without Maddie, but she’ll be interested to see how they fare in Maddie’s absence. She’s guessing not very well…
So remember years and year ago when Abby Lee Miller was just a teacher and Dance Moms was actually enjoyable to watch? Am I recalling it correctly, or have I clouded my memory with more positive thoughts in an effort to combat the negativity I have to watch now. It’s a total mind game. You know who else likes mind games? Sia. On last night’s episode, the world is finally introduced to this video. Many found it to be artistic, some found it to be highly inappropriate, but I was just happy to see Shia LeBeouf dancing around in a cage. People think he’s weird and controversial, but he’ll always be Louis Stevens to me. And now Louis Stevens is dancing around in a cage with Maddie the dirty wolf. What’s so wrong with that?
Maddie is excited about the video’s release, but she has a hard time explaining the concept to a confused Jill. Jill decides to just call it “artistic” and “open to interpretation” and be done with it. The other moms freak out when they learn that Kathy and her Candy Apples have assembled a brand new team of Abby’s “rejects” (Kira’s word, not mind), and they will be competing against the ALDC this week. Abby is livid, but she needs to focus on the pyramid. Kendall and Nia are on the bottom for not placing in their solos. JoJo, MacKenzie, and Kalani make up the second row for doing a wonderful job in their losing group number. Maddie maintains her place in the top spot. There will be no solos this week, as Abby wants to celebrate Maddie’s wonderful duet with Shia. She pairs Maddie with Kalani for one duet, and she pairs Kendall with JoJo for a Freaky Friday number. MacKenzie and Nia are partnered for a scary duet, which leads up to a murder in the group routine.