Immediately we are transported to a deep underground tunnel of despair where Tamra is sitting at the head of the table deliberating over can stay and who can go. Lucky Alexis was plucked from group and exiled. Her angel wings spread and her golden halo glowed as she floated above the riff-raff into the parking lot. Gretchen Rossi clapped with glee as if the heathens were being eaten by lions in the Colosseum.
Lydia scampered after her; jumping on Starlite and flying towards the Tunnel of Light. Don't let them rob you of a colorful world! I would have taken off my shoes, hitched up my maxi dress, and ran screaming from that den of horrors up the delivery van loading dock and right into the limo to start guzzling champagne from the bottle.
Oh Teen Mom 2, whatever are we going to do without you? Last night we bid a ninety minute farewell to Leah Messer Sims Calvert, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, and Chelsea Houska, and MTV has yet to confirm whether they'll be back for more (please, no). While we'll be able to keep up with Jenelle thanks to her constant arrests and rehab stints, how will keep tabs on our other favorite whiny and entitled reality stars? What will become of Corey's camo hat? Will Kieffer Delp be successful in his pipe selling endeavors? So many unanswered questions–I can't bear the thought of it…
Of course, I jest. Last night, I cried when Corey cried, and I felt such pain for Barbara as she struggled with losing her daughter to heroin. I'm excited that Chelsea seems to be maturing–here's hoping she keeps up the good work. These girls need to stay out of the limelight, and I really need for Jenelle to get her life in order before she ends up dead. I can't imagine the only memories that Jace has of his mom being the same we've seen on the series.
The episode begins as Leah and Jeremy discuss Ali's big doctor's appointment over date night. Jeremy has taken time off from work so he can be with his wife as she deals with the stress of facing Ali's potential diagnosis.
After Stevie spends the night with Joseline, she decides that she can't handle a relationship with him knowing that Mimi is never going away. Joseline wants to focus solely on her career, and she requests Stevie's undivided attention if he wants to stick around. He asks her to make him breakfast before she starts her day, but Joseline is no fool. She hits the road and leaves Stevie hungry.
Erica Dixon tells fiance Scrappy that her mother is having issues with their wedding. She wishes her mom would be more supportive, and Scrappy is tired of both of their mothers overstepping their boundaries. While Erica knows she'll never have Momma Dee on her side, she is confident that she can get her mom on the same page as Scrappy if she can arrange a sit down for the duo. Scrappy concedes…he'll let Erica's mom get to know him–and his multiple personalities.
I spy with my little eye … self-serving agendas, freaky foreheads, and Monster High inspired eye shadow … it must be Married to Medicine!
This week's episode begins with Duncan and Kari Wells, talking business and going over space plans for the medical office building they own. There's one floor still unfinished, and Kari invites Dr. Simone Whitmore to check it out. Duncan asks about Aydin, who had agreed to look at the space, but Kari shoots down the idea. Aydin is married toMariah Huq, she reminds, and that comes with some serious baggage.
Meanwhile, Eugene and Toya Harris go over the plans for their upcoming Halloween party, the Spookey Ookey. First things first, Eugene wants to know how much money is being spent on the party, and I bust out laughing. Poor neutered Eugene … he's so cute … As expected, Toya's like, bitch, please and brings up more pressing issues, like Mariah's invitation to the party. Together, Eugene and Toys decide to un-invite Mariah and her family from the Spookey Ookey. Toya sends Mariah an email that reads like a college denial letter.
Things begin with Rachel and Rodger in bed with bed hair. Rodger thinks he rocks the bed head look. Rachel thinks that between the two of them their hair is a disaster. I concur. Rodger disagrees and thinks his wife’s bed hair is sexy and basically launches himself on her like a catapult in the hopes of sexytimes. However Rachel summons extreme strength from the fashion Gods and basically uses a force field to fend off her desperate for baby #2 husband. Rodger says he wants a baby, however, Rachel doesn’t. For the first time all season, I am siding with Rodger. Considering what cutie patootey kids these two make, I’m all for it. New Campaign starts today: #SiblingForSky!
NOOOOOooooooooooooo! In what has to be the shortest "season" in television history, this season of Duck Dynasty ended last night in an hour of awesomeness…Hawaiian style. Willie, Si, Jase, and Phil treat their family to a much needed island vacay, and, as always, hilarity ensues. I'm going to miss the Robertson group. Thank goodness for re-runs!
Si makes the mistake of going to see the movie Ted, and he's scarred for life. What's next? Care Bear gangs? Paddington Bear doing drugs? Pooh holding Piglet hostage? Oh, the humanity. As he shares his cinematic mishap with Jase, he's upset to learn from Jep that Willie now expects them all to work standing up in the warehouse. Willie has installed a bunch of desks that move upwards on hydraulic lifts. When Jase confronts his brother for his new productivity initiative, he explains to Willie that they need to quit working so hard and take a day–or six–off from the daily grind.
Last night on Don't Be Tardy we got a second dose of Kim Zolciak's wedding jumpsuit. As if the over-exposing lace cameltoe monstrosity wasn't bad enough the first time around!
It's Kim and Kroy Biermann's first anniversary. They've been together three years total but they've had three homes, one eviction, one firing, two kids, three hideous wedding outfits, 35,000 legal issues, and um… well I'm sure there's more to come. Love, White Trash Style!
Kim decides to celebrate by recreating key moments in their relationship. Surprisingly they don't all involve wigs, boobs, and fried chicken. Instead she's going to stage a surprise re-wedding at the venue where they first met when Kroy was a participant in Dancing With The Stars Atlanta. In case you don't remember that's first where Kim first fell for that a$$!
The competition was fierce on last night's Dance Moms, and, as usual, Abby Lee Miller did everything in her power to perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in her troupe. She's such a sweetheart.
The ALDC heads to New York City for Abby's appearance on The View, but that doesn't spare the girls from the pyramid. The moms also learn that Cathy and her Candy Apples are in the Big Apple. Abby had Nia and Asia on the bottom for an out of synch duet, followed by Brooke. Paige is on the second rung for a not so memorable routine, with Kendall securing the third spot. Maddie is second on the pyramid for only scoring one point above the girl at the top spot: Chloe. I am so excited for her, and she is beaming!
For the NYC competition, Asia, Maddie, and Chloe will all be dancing solos, as will Kendall. Jill can't contain herself and Abby makes sure Jill knows she needs to keep kissing up with gifts to stay in her good graces. Everyone will be dancing in the group number. In addition to the competition, Abby wants to perfect The Last Text for The View, and she announces that Asia will be dancing in MacKenzie's place for the talk show. Melissa is livid and she sputters that her daughter has put her time in with the troupe. Abby reminds Melissa that MacKenzie has an injured foot. Jill is stirring the pot with Melissa to stick up to Abby, but Kristie 2.0 wants Asia to have a part in the dance.