In honor of hump day – pun sooo intended – I'm bringing you this very special interview with Farrah Abraham. #WootWoot It truly highlights all the things we love about Farrah, including her nonsensical rambling, lack of self-awareness, and special brand of English.
The former Teen Mom star goes into the interview planning to promote Vivid Entertainment's new strip club, and she gets pissy when things go awry. No warm up here, folks! The interviewer jumps right in, asking Farrah how she plans to spend her porn money.
Farrah's number one goal? "Being smart." Well, this interview is shot to hell already, huh? Oh, but there's so much more, like the fact that she still wants us to believe that James Deen was her boyfriend and the whole feminist-lesbian thing that trips her up.
Oh, and if you turned your TV at just the right angle and closed one eye, you saw the Teen Moms caring for their precious babies almost as passionately as they begged their boyfriends to love them. This week: rinse and repeat.
RadarLiesOnline jumped at the opportunity to "confirm" Farrah "signed on" with Days of our Lives. Their questionable source reported, "Farrah initially wanted one of the lead roles, but clearly she's not a seasoned actress, so she auditioned for the role of a hooker named Destiny."
"Some of the cast and crew is peeved that she's even on the show," continued the source. "They don't think a popular daytime show that's been on the air for 50 years need to use a ridiculous ploy like Farrah's name to get viewers."
Despite Radar's confirmation, fans of the daytime soap can let out a huge sigh of relief, as a rep for NBC has come forward to debunk the rumor. Farrah has not been cast as herselfa hooker on Days of our Lives. But, just for fun, check out Farrah's audition tapes below!
Two dads, Matt and Devoin, have done nothing but bitch (via Twitter!) about MTV's unfair edit (blah, blah, blah) since Teen Mom 3 aired. If I had a dollar for every time a reality TV star cried bogus edit, well, I would be a lot less poor.
Real Housewives of Miami held steady at 1.3 million. Meanwhile, Bravo's surprise (to me) hit Below Deck attracted its largest audience yet, with 1.75 million viewers. That's up 200,000 from last week's 1.55 million.
Finally, 1.810 million viewers checked out the series premiere of Teen Mom 3, but only 1.554 million stuck around for the second episode. I'm not surprised roughly 250,000 viewers checked out. Two hours of any new series is overkill.
Believe it or not hour number two ends with one of these awe-inspiring couples becoming engaged to be married. All together now – seriously?!?
Mackenzie talks to a friend about her relationship woes. She briefly wonders if Josh resents her for pursuing cheer after she demanded he quit rodeo he put bull riding on hold. Crazy talk! Mackenzie comes to the conclusion that she and Josh fight too much because they don't spend enough time together. She plans to ask him to move in with her.
Cayla wisely questions Mackenzie's thought process. She reasons, "I know moving in is risky, but it's got to be better than living apart."
The very long and emotional premiere begins with Briana. As you'll recall from 16 and Pregnant, Briana and her sister became pregnant at the same time. Brittany opted to have an abortion; Briana chose motherhood. Sadly, Devoin Austin checked out long before his daughter was born, causing Briana to keep his name off of Nova's birth certificate.
Now Briana leans on Brittany and Mom for help with Nova. Over lunch, the girls school Mom on what happens in relationships (Hint: not innocent walks on the beach. Evidence: see Nova.), and Mom sternly tells them NO MORE BOYS!
Last week, Farrah Abraham tweeted the link to her Amazon wish list, thanking her sugar daddies fans in advance for buying her gifts. Did you buy Farrah an "entriguing" chandelier? Or perhaps a new "dinning room" table and chairs for the former Teen Mom star… #confessiontime
Farrah told Radar that all the items on her list – all $13,000 worth – have been purchased. (Side note: I have since learned that wish lists are super popular among porn stars and escorts. Who knew?!?) In true Farrah fashion, she went on to justify the list, making absolutely no sense whatsoever.