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Abby Lee Miller

dance moms tribal group

I can’t imagine the pressure most dancers feel when preparing for a national competition, but it has to be next to impossible to train when your dance teacher is the wench known as Abby Lee Miller. Dance Moms just keeps getting more and more ridiculous, does it not? On last night’s episode, Christ-y is invited to rejoin the group after Abby’s mini-me assures her boss that Sarah’s turns are improving ten-fold during her private lessons. Abby warns Christ-y to keep her mouth shut or else she and her daughter will be banned for good…again. 

Instead of a pyramid, Abby has fashioned a totem pole for her ranking, and Nia is on the very bottom for not having enough facial expressions. MacKenzie is above her for being too quick, followed by Kendall for lacking turn-outs. Tea is above Kendall for being on the winning team, as is Chloe. She’s just one below Maddie who is at the top for garnering the highest score in the competition. This weekend the ALDC is heading to Michigan to compete. MacKenzie, Sarah, and Tea all receive solos. The two lowest scoring little ones will be axed from the Nationals team. Nia has the lead in the group routine which is called tribal council. Abby learns that Ava will be competing with Jeanette’s studio against Tea and MacKenzie. The moms believe that Jeanette wants to get her daughter in front of Abby one more time, but they think it’s unfair given she had her chance last week. Jeanette’s plan is surely going to backfire.

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15th Annual Taste of Tennis Gala

Happy Labor Day! Also, it’s a new month, so it’s time to wish a Happy Birthday to a few of our favorite – and not so favorite – reality TV stars from Real Housewives of New YorkDance Moms, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Don’t Be Tardy, and more. See who celebrates a birthday in September:

Padma Lakshmi – Sept 1, 1970
Rachel Zoe – Sept 1, 1971
Tamra Judge – Sept 2, 1967
Camille Grammer – Sept 2, 1968
Dr. Drew Pinsky – Sept 4, 1958
Adrienne Maloof – Sept 4 1961
Hank Baskett – Sept 4, 1982
Brooke Burke – Sept 8 1971
Aviva Drescher – September 9, 1970
Harry Connick Jr – Sept 11, 1967
Kroy Biermann – Sept 12, 1985
Michelle Duggar – Sept 13, 1966
Ryan Sutter – Sept 14, 1974
Lisa Vanderpump – Sept 15, 1960
Heidi Pratt – Sept 15, 1986
Towanda Braxton – Sept 18, 1973
Kim Richards – Sept 19, 1964
Abby Lee Miller – Sept 21, 1966
Nicole Richie – Sept 21, 1981
Maddie Ziegler – Sept 30, 2002

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dance moms maddie

With Nationals right around the corner, Abby Lee Miller is hellbent on creating a winning team with top placing soloists. You know what that means…the revolving door of Dance Moms
wannabes keeps shuffling through the studio. After losing last week to Bleu, Abby wants to strike fear in the hearts of her original team–moreso than she does on any regular day, at least. She also takes the opportunity to lecture the moms of the selected new group. Even after doubting Abby’s training, Loree has defected to the elite competition group with the veteran moms, and her former newbie counterparts aren’t happy about her move.

Abby wants to reserve any bickering until after the pyramid. Poor MacKenzie is at the bottom for being pulled from the group number so Abby could place the girls in a higher age bracket and hopefully avoid tough junior competitors (epic fail) her lack of maturity during an improv practice. Chloe follows for her sixth place finish. Nia rounds out the bottom rung because she’s Nia, and Nia rarely ever traipses up to the top half of the pyramid. Jade is third on the pyramid for being third in the solos, and Kendall is second for finally figuring out what it takes to become a favorite. Perhaps it’s because she’s been hanging out so much with top dancer Maddie.

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dance moms girls

I know y’all have mentioned it before, but what say we pool our resources and donate to Lifetime so Dance Moms can get a new introduction sans the mother and former dancers who are embroiled in a legal battle with Abby Lee Miller. Is that too much to ask? Of course it is, just like it’s too much to ask for Abby to be kind to her students. After victory at a very suspect competition (were there any other dancers there?), Abby is hoping to find a replacement for Maddie in the event Sia wants her star student for every other music video she ever makes.

Not surprisingly, Abby brings in another new dancer to go head-to-head with Chloe. Jade will be dancing with the ALDC this week. Chloe is at the bottom of the pyramid for placing second in the solo division. We all know second is first loser. Nia follows for being the fourth in the top five. MacKenzie is third because her budding pop star status doesn’t give her an excuse to have poor posture. Maddie is second because, woohoo, she was in a Sia video that has allowed her to perform on Ellen and has been interviewed for Seventeen magazine! Kendall is on the top of the pyramid for winning the junior solo division. 

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Christi Lukasiak and kelly hyland dance moms

Things are getting crazier and crazier on Dance Moms, but the craziest yet may just be that Abby Lee Miller and Co. are possibly staging fake dance competitions for the show! 

We’ve heard reports for years, that after the first season, the ALDC attended rigged competitions or ‘invitationals’ which many dance companies sign up for simply to showcase their talents on a hit TV show. Of course the qualification being that ALDC gets a lot of the limelight – and usually the big wins! That likely had a lot to do with legality of filming minors in a public space.

But last night’s episode featured really obvious displays of fakery. For instance, we noticed the audience – usually packed with dance families and contestants – was all but empty! Only the first couple of rows had people sitting in them. 

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dance moms maddie bow

Last night’s Dance Moms starts off on a high note…for once! After succeeding in the group number against the Candy Apples, the girls gather in the studio. Gino is a distant memory and will go down in ALDC history as the kid who made perfect Maddie lose a duet. Poor kid. Maddie is absent because she’s in Los Angeles recreating her Chandelier video on Ellen. Have you seen it? It’s almost creepier than the actual video because Sia spends the entire time refusing to show her face and singing in a corner. Of course, that makes me love her and the song even more, and Maddie is quite the talent. If only Abby Lee Miller would stop trying to pit her against her friends…

Shockingly, Maddie is on the bottom of the pyramid for her absence, followed by Chloe for her fall. At least she gives her a tiny bit of credit for continuing on like a professional…a smidgen of credit if you will. Nia takes the spot after Chloe because, you know, Nia isn’t a ballerina as we’re reminded again, and again, and again. Newbie Sarah is the bottom of the next rung, much to Christ-y’s chagrin. MacKenzie is in second, although Abby calls her out from detracting from the number for being too short. Kendall is in the top spot (although, did you notice, there wasn’t a top of the pyramid?) for taking the piece so seriously. 

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dance moms gino maddie kiss

What would Dance Moms be without the long running feud against the Candy Apples? On last night’s episode, Abby Lee Miller once again faced her nemesis while bragging about that one time she judged Dancing With The Stars. Is it just me, or do the original moms—even crazy Christi—seem tame in comparison to the new antics? 

As the girls enter the studio, Abby dubs it their walk of shame. She’s sent home her new team to rest and revel in their victory, but she’s allowed Sarah to join the original dancers because her mom stirs up so much drama…oh, and because she’s talented. Yeah, totally the second thing I just wrote. Sarah is eight years old and sporting what have to be eyelash extensions. Abby reminds Sarah that if her mouthy mom has anything negative to say, Sarah will be ousted for good. After Abby rakes the girls over the coals for being sore losers, Jill interrupts to say the team wasn’t sad to lose, but rather they felt let down by their teacher. 

Chloe is on the bottom of the pyramid for poor turns, followed by Maddie for crying in public. Kendall is third on the bottom, and Nia is criticized for not working hard enough to make up for her lack of raw talent. MacKenzie is second, and Sarah takes the top spot for performing with the winning team. Abby cackles as she reveals they will be competing in Ohio against the Candy Apples. The group number will be entitled “Broken Dolls” so art can imitate her dancers’ real life. Abby announces that the duet will be called “I’ve Just Gotta Be Kissed” and all of the girls are giggling and blushing. Maddie will be dancing with Cathy’s former student Gino.

abby lee engaged

Say it isn’t so! Abby Lee Miller isn’t really engaged to Michael Padula!

Earlier this week, the insufferable Dance Moms star stopped by The Juice to promote her new parental advice – whole body shudder – book, Everything I Learned About Life, I Learned In Dance Class, and Abby finally told us the real story behind her “engagement” to Michael

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