ABC The Bachelor


Oh, Sean Lowe works out? I almost forgot. While glistening with sweat and annoying homely husbands across America, the Bachelor shares, "One week into it, I find myself really digging a lot of women." Only Sean knows which ones but the possibilities include Sarah, Kacie, Desiree, AshLee, Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Lesley, Selma, Catherine, Kristy, Leslie, Tierra, Taryn, Daniella, and Amanda. One of these women could (but probably won't) be Sean's future wife. 

Chris Harrison arrives on the scene of the crazy to deliver the first date card. It's addressed to Lesley and reads, "How long will this love last?" Lesley is excited and goes on and on about dreams coming true and taking her relationship with Sean to the next level. 

Sean brings Lesley to the Guinness World Records Museum. Lesley isn't too impressed, saying, "I'm thinking, um, this could be fun, but if I could have picked any place… I really didn't think we'd be coming to the Guinness World Records." Poor Lesley… a waste of a good (albeit way too short) dress is always tragic. 



The Bachelor folk are not about to let us forget that Sean Lowe's riveting personality half-naked body looks ah-mazing. While working out and taking a shower, Sean talks about his second chance at love… on this amazing journey… to meet his future wife. The Bachelor needs a new script. 

Sean and his bachelorettes go on dates this week! Chris Harrison explains the dating process to the 19 remaining ladies – First Rose Tierra, Wishing Well Desiree, OCD AshLee, Sexy Selma, Back Flips Robyn, Tries Too Hard Brooke, Lipstick Jackie, Kurly Katie, Sweet Sarah, Single Mom Diana, Mean Mugging Catherine, Poker Dealer Leslie, Awkward Pause Amanda, Desperate in D.C. Lesley, Ben Reject Kacie, Model Kristy, Handshake Daniella, Tears Taryn, and Drunk Bride Lindsay – and adds that Sean is the most sincere Bachelor ever.  

Chris places the first date card on the coffee table, raises his hands in the air, and slowly backs out of the room… BRING ON THE CRAZY! 

Kristy grabs the card, hoping to see her name on it, but it goes to Sarah. The date card reads, "Are you ready to fall in love today?" Everyone goes awwww and then wishes they, too, had only one arm. Oh, come on… you know the thought seeped into their catty heads. In all seriousness, I loved Sarah last week, so I'm excited about Sean's choice.


jake kristin

Sometimes my reality gets skewed.  It's been skewed as of late.  I'm bewildered.  The light of musicals, Southern belle charm, and quick wit wrapped in a tiny little package has disappointed me.  Yet, I still can't blame her.  I feel as if she's been brainwashed.  I can't think of another logical explanation.

I'll just come right out and say it.  I've heard the rumors, and I've read the gossip, but I so didn't want to believe it was true.  But we now have confirmation.  Sigh.  It seems that everyone's favorite multi-talented spitfire little cupcake Kristin Chenoweth is, in fact, dating former Bachelor alum and d-bag pilot Jake Pavelka.  When did the world go so awry?  I'd hoped that she was his beard, but it doesn't seem like that is the case.  I don't know what to believe anymore.  Gracious.



This was a good week for our favorite reality shows!  It seems that everyone is getting back into the swing of 2013, and with a routine comes our favorite old habits…watching some of the most fantastically trashy television series known to man. 

Lots of networks premiered new seasons of their hit shows, while Bravo maintains steady viewership for its shows that bridged the holiday season.  Whether you were tuning in to Here Comes Honey Boo, NeNe Leakes (WIG!), or Sean this season is going to bLowe try to find love, you were certainly watching!



Bachelor fans, are you ready for the most amazing journey featuring one (hopefully shirtless) Sean Lowe and 26 (hopefully tipsy) Bachelorettes? As always, each lady is desperate to find love and most definitely there for the right reasons.

Chris Harrison is on hand, as well, to keep every single most dramatic rose ceremony running smoothly. Not on hand? Emily Maynard. She broke Sean's heart on the Bachelorette and, for the sake of my sanity, needs to stay far away from this season.

Sean has fully recovered from his heartbreak and is ready to try again on the Bachelor. Clearly, he's a fool. He says the idea of possibly meeting his future wife during this journey (drink up, my friends) is kind of exciting and kind of intimidating.

Sean adds, "I want the end result. I want to protect my woman. I want to love my woman. I want to honor her. I want to love her with everything I have, and I want to be the best possible man I can be for her. I want to be rich in love." 

Because ABC doesn't completely hate me, Arie Luyendyk, Jr. stops by Sean's pad to help him prepare for what is to come. Mr. Holy Hotness schools Sean on how to properly kiss a woman: Eye contact. Use your hands. Touch her hair. Touch her face. Tease her with your tongue. No lizard tongue. Use your  whole body. #coldshower

Curse you, Arie, for not signing up for this train wreck of a show solely for my entertainment.


Timing is everything, right? Bachelor couple Ben Flajnik and Courtney Robertson break up, the two are thrust back into the media spotlight, and Ben announces a new TV project… coincidence or good planning? 

According to Wetpaint Entertainment, Ben and the E! network are teaming up to bring us a new reality series about Ben's Sonoma-based winery, Envolve. “It will be about the day-to-day business of the company,” Wetpaint's source said. “Both from the wine-making and the marketing angles."

The source added, "Right now, the show is in the very early stages.Contracts haven’t even been signed but things are moving along."


Courtney Robertson and Shawntel Newton are two well-known, albeit very different, women to come out of the Bachelor madness. 

Their occupations and personalities:

Courtney is a model, mean girl, and villain. She cuts throats. Shawntel is a funeral director, quirky girl, and fan favorite. She embalms bodies.

Their Bachelor history:

Courtney "won" her season of the Bachelor. She just ended her engagement to her "prize" Ben FlajnikShawntel was rejected by Brad Womack. Later, she crashed Ben's season, but Courtney threatened to leave if Ben kept her. Shawntel was sent home by Ben. Shawntel just announced her engagement to a regular guy.

Their writing style:

Courtney plans to write a juicy tell-all book about her sorrid past relationships and Bachelor experience. Shawntel wrote a tasteful autobiography about her career and Bachelor experience.

Did you catch that? In an interview with Celebuzz, Courtney reveals she's writing a tell-all memoir. I know you're excited, but you cannot pre-order your very own copy yet… so please calm down.


Can you believe it? Sean Lowe is already three quarters of the way to the Bachelor's most romantic final rose ceremony ever. ever. 

According to Chris Harrison, Sean's journey is going well and it seems as if Emily Maynard is a distant memory. "Sean's doing great and his choices and decisions so far have been really good," Chris told US Weekly. "He's looking for a lady: someone who respects herself and her family. It's not a crazy, 'let's get drunk, let's get naked' type of season because that's not Sean." 

That said, Chris promised, "He has his shirt off a lot." See photo evidence below. 


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