Last night we witnessed the many pregnancies of Little Women: LA progressing, with some hullabaloo along the way concerning head injuries past and domestic sketchiness present. And Terra Jole is loving every messy minute of it!
After the ladies were informed of Briana Renee’s health scare last week, they are left to question what the real truth is about her “pre-term labor” claims. And whether Matt Ericson (Grundhoffer) is basically holding her hostage in a hospital bed somewhere in a dark basement, allowing her to Face Time friends and communicate a Morse Code “H-E-L-P” signal through subtle eyebrow movement. Or maybe he’s just a misunderstood guy who’s trying to take care of his wife out of the public spotlight? Nah. Basement kidnapping it is!
Welcome back to Little Women: LA, the show that never stops filming! It seems like season 4 was just wrapping when BAM! Season 5 is suddenly upon us. I, for one, couldn’t be happier. Lifetime must know that they cannot take a hiatus with these women, lest someone chuck a glass at someone else’s head between seasons. Plus, nearly everyone has had or is having babies these days, so every minute counts. I say, let’s just strap Go Pros to everyone’s heads and be done with it!
When we left off on season 4, Christy McGinity and Terra Jole had temporarily laid down their swords over their altercation at line dancing night, with Christy bitterly reviving the whole mess at the LWLAReunion. She still claims a concussion diagnosis. Tonya Banks had forced convinced her ex, Kerwin, to leave his lady friend and take up with her. Jasmine Sorge’s hubby was relegated to busing tables at his father in law’s restaurant, having not found work close to home. Elena Gant and hubby Preston were expecting twin boys – awwwww! And Briana Renee and Matt Ericson (Grundhoffer) were, well, how do I put this? A HELLISH MESS. Oh – also, Jasmine’s pregnant, Terra’s pregnant, Briana’s pregnant, you’re pregnant, I’m pregnant (kidding!). It’s a virtual baby bonanza up in here!
Little Women: LA has been bursting at the seams with babies lately, with everyone trying to getting pregnant, getting pregnant, and welcoming new babies. This week two of the show’s starts – Elena Gant and Briana Manson – welcomed their new bundles of joy.
Elena simply revealed on Instagram that her twin babies had arrived, but offered up no further details on when the babies arrived, names etc. In all likelihood, she’s waiting for the new season to share information on the babies’ arrival! She shared, “Had my babies!!! Back on set #littlewomenla season 5 coming in July on @lifetimetv!!”
Did you watch this mess? Could you bring yourself to actually do it? Well, no matter! I am here to fearlessly take one for the team and recap this shiznit!
Lest you venture forth too quickly, I advise you to take a deep breath and center yourself. (Ohhhhhhmmmm) Because what went down on Little Women: LA Matt and Briana, Part 1, last night is not for the faint of heart – nor for the rational, emotionally balanced, mentally stable among us. Nay! It is for the delusional and the slow to learn, for those wretched souls who wander the planet screaming RIDE OR DIE in public urinals during the sunset of their lives. So, with that warning, let’s all climb in to this steaming garbage heap together, shall we?
It’s time for part two of the Little Women: LA reunion! And I, for one, could not be happier about the choice of hosts for this big ole mess. Last week, Kevin Frazierran this show like a BOSS, and tonight he’s taking things one step further by insisting that Matt Ericson sit down, put his big boy pants (as opposed to his Peter Pan Pants) on, and listen up as his disgusting texts to other women are read aloud in front of the entire cast. Let us take a moment of silence to thank the reality gods for putting Kevin Frazier in our lives. Amen.
Okay, here we go! Part one of the season 4 reunion ended on a stage break, during which Christy McGinity asked Briana Renee if she “okay’d” the sexts the entire cast was about to hear? No, says Briana. But it doesn’t look like she has much control. And let’s face it: not having control over anything happening around her, to her, or near her seems to be Briana’s ultimate character flaw. Or at least she believes it to be. I’d argue that she has plenty of control over this mess she’s in, but chooses to hide her head in the sand instead. Suddenly, Matt takes issue with the texts too, claiming they’re “grotesque” and he doesn’t want to stick around to hear them repeated. Uh, wait up homie! We thought you went into some sort of fugue state and didn’t recall anything about what you wrote? #RememberTHAT?
It’s been a season of revelation and procreation, and here we are at the end of it all! Season 4 of Little Women: LA ended on a sour note for Briana Renee, whose long-maligned husband, Matt Ericson, was discovered sending d*ck pics yet again to multiple women. To make matters worse, Briana was pregnant at the time with Matt’s spawn baby. And in further heartbreaking news, Briana was rushed to the hospital just this week for pre-term contractions (she’s 6 months pregnant right now) due perhaps, in part, to stress. The situation is sad, no matter how you look at it. But Briana and Matt are capitalizing on their gigantic crapfest of a relationship with a 2-hour Lifetime special May 11 anyway! Because Briana’s family has not been humiliated enough yet? Cripes.
In the mean time, the ladies sat down for a season 4 reunion with a new host (Thank you Jesus!! Last season’s was a passive aggressive wreck!!) to dish the dirt on everything from Matt’s sexting proclivities to Christy McGinity’s totally-legitimate-and-medically-proven “brain injury” to Tonya Banks’ desperate attempt at trapping her a live Kerwin! (Although we’ll only get to a small portion of this mess in part 1.) Yee haw! Let’s get to it.