Calling any reality television casting agents and the rulers of all messy canned drama (Mona? Andy Cohen?)–I promise if I’m ever paid copious (or not so copious) amounts of money on a reality show, I won’t blow said fortune on tanning beds (I’m looking at you, Situation!) or Ed Hardy. I’ll pay down my student loans and maybe buy a car that isn’t over a decade old. Granted, I’d be boring as all get out to watch, but I do have some entertaining friends. I certainly wouldn’t run through whatever money the reality gods wanted to pay me only to continue digging a deeper financial hole for myself. Pinky swear!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’d strive to be the exact opposite of Jon Gosselin. After the success of Jon & Kate Plus 8 followed by a nasty divorce from Kate, the two competed for fame whoredom, and blew through their money in the meantime. While Kate seems back on track with Celebrity Apprentice and Kate Plus 8 Jon just can’t get his bank account on point.
He’s apparently a jack of all trades…or should I say a “Jon” of all trades? That’s right, folks! Jon Gosselin has yet another job he’s pursuing. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what his career was before Jon & Kate Plus 8, but I’m sure it was something respectable and dad-like. Engineer? Data analyst? A quick Google search only seemed to highlight his latest endeavors.
After his early career, Jon became a reality star then a sadder reality star, then a fame monger, friend to Michael Lohan, dater of young hangers on, Ed Hardy sandwich board, solar panel installer, and, most recently, a waiter. That’s quite a shift in employment! So, what’s next on Jon’s resume?
“TLC canceled Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and ended all activities around the series, effective immediately,” the network announced almost immediately. “Supporting the health and welfare of these remarkable children is our only priority. TLC is faithfully committed to the children’s ongoing comfort and well-being.”
Jon Gosselin wins our Thirsty Thursday award this week. Jon, who is broke as a joke, told Kate Gosselin, whose reality TV career is on the upswing, that he’d be willing to go on Couples Therapy with her. What a kind soul. I’m sure he has only her best interests at heart.
“I would consider appearing on Couples Therapy with Kate,” said Jon. “We are divorced, but why can’t we co-parent? I was thinking Kate and I could do a televised sit-down with a doctor and work out our differences, because our kids are suffering. She’s still so angry at me.”
When I was young and naive, I always assumed that someone being on television meant they were rich for life. Of course, I now realize how stupid that assumption is, but geez! It takes a special kind of fiscally stupid and wildly irresponsible person to blow through reality show paychecks, yet these idiots never seem to learn from their destitute counterparts’ mistakes.
Case in point? Former Jon & Kate Plus 8 stars Kate and Jon Gosselin are now (separately) scraping the bottom of the barrel after a contentious and drawn-out divorce coupled with a love of rooster haircuts, spray tans, and Ed Hardy. Haven’t they heard of trust funds and financial planners and, oh, I don’t know…saving the copious amounts of money made on a now defunct reality show? It’s quite appalling to think about, really.
The tale of woe continues… Jon Gosselin has been evicted from his home.
In May, Jon was fired from his job as a waiter for coming in late and blowing off shifts. Jon’s next attempt at employment – credit card sales – did not work out either. Now the broke and unemployed father of eight has been evicted.
“The eviction happened last week,” an insider confirmed. “Jon could no longer afford the rent. The job at the credit card company he was working for didn’t pan out. The anticipated income wasn’t there and the situation deteriorated.”
Kate was initially forced to stop selling the kids out on TV (even though they LOVE it), after Jon blocked her, but when Jon couldn’t pay child support he made a deal with the devil: he could avoid payments IF the sweet poor spawn of satan and her hair maiden could resume their duties as little reality moneymaking machines. Times are hard when you’ve got a mansion and $2,000 highlights to upkeep – especially when couponing and real jobs are so beneath Kate, and no one wanted to see mama date a married bodyguard. Meanwhile Jon was too busy bolstering his own reality TV and playing around with Little Jon on camera.
In the latest installment of Jon & Kate Plus Hate, Jon is now angling for a fat TLC paycheck once again. Kate’sfirst TLC special aired a few months ago, and Jon was not a part of it. But since he is part of the kids, he feels he’s owed at least some of the money everyone is earning. “Jon’s trying to get a percentage of Kate’s TLC salary for the new Kate Plus 8 specials,” a source reveals.
If you have ever wondered what happened to your favorite couples, or the biggest train wreck couples, from Couples Therapy, then I have good news for you! VH1 recently announced that a Couples Therapy reunion is in the works!
“Couples Therapy is taping a special 5-season All-Star Reunion, featuring appearances by some of the most memorable couples from the entire history of the series LIVE onstage before a studio audience,” revealed VH1. “Dr. Jenn Berman will serve as host and moderator for this hi-octane reunion, showing highlights of all the most memorable moments from the series and finding out what has happened with everyone since their experience in Couples Therapy. It will be explosive, entertaining, and a night to remember!”