It appears that someone is still in the feeling the holiday spirit because Kanye West just gave us the best Christmas present ever. And I mean EVER! The tiny rapper has vowed to stop talking smack about everyone and everything for a while. He's promised us six months of Yeezus-free commentary. Thank you, sir.
Perhaps Kris Jenner has gotten her wish? You know she's behind this latest ploy. I should mention that 'Ye's latest declaration took place during a twenty-seven minute rant during his last Yeezus concert. Seriously, who goes to these things? It's not like he's going to perform!
Do you have a ten-year plan? I do, and it involves a bestselling novel turned blockbuster movie starring Ryan Gosling…and a relationship with Ryan Gosling. Hey girl, it could happen!
Kim Kardashian also has hopes for where her life will be in a decade. Fear not, it will likely still be playing out in front of our eyes as I can't imagine this family has any plans to leave E! anytime soon. Kim recently revealed that she'd like to have two more children with Kanye West. Of course, the family will need an East and a South as siblings for baby North.
Is there trouble in the ultimate fame whoring reality paradise? It seems that someone needs to learn how to behave. Of course, by "behave" I mean that someone needs to stop comparing his creative genius to that of Steve Jobs and the difficulty of his stage performance to that of the effort men and women put forth while defending our country. Kanye West…a true gem.
Unfortunately for Kim Kardashian, pimp momager Kris Jenner is getting very tired her daughter's fiance's negative portrayal in the media. She's ready for the tiny rapping to stop with his ridiculous rants and get on board with the gravy train known as her family's brand.
Give it a rest, dude. Seriously, just give it a rest. After Kourtney Kardashian released a paternity test revealing that LordScott Disick was, in fact, the biological father of her oldest child, the model who claims he's Mason's dad won't leave it alone. Why in the world anyone would try to be be related to the Kardashian krew is so far beyond me!
Michael Girgenti claims that he bedded the oldest Kardashian sister after meeting at a photo shoot right around the time she would have gotten pregnant with the now four-year-old Mason. Despite the fact that there's a little thing called a paternity test in the mix, Michael also failed a lie detector test back in August. The polygraph noted deceptive behavior when Michael answered affirmatively that he and Kourtney had sex.
As a huge Liz Taylor fan, I am disgusted that the Keeping Up With The Kardashians famewhore thinks she comes anywhere close. But yeah, I'm sure Kanye will be writing a new rap about how Kim is the greatest living legend of our time in about … oh now!
Is Lamar Odom finally taking responsibility for his bad behavior in an attempt to get his life back on track? Will Khloe Kardashian Odom still be around if and when he does…or will she be too busy inspiring the young lads of One Direction 2.0? It's a lot to take in, I know!
Starting with Lamar, he's changed his plea from "not guilty" to "no contest" in his recent DUI offense. Radar Online is reporting that Lamar will have his license suspended automatically for a year for refusing further chemical testing after his arrest. A source tells the site, “Odom pled no contest to first offense DUI, and the refusal to take further testing after he was arrested was dismissed."
A spokesperson for the California Highway Patrol shares, “He did what no one should ever do, he refused the chemical tests. That means that his license is revoked and Lamar could get the most powerful attorney in the world and he is still not going to have a license for a year.”
Just when I thought pimp momager Kris Jenner couldn't get any worse, she posts the above picture of herself on Instagram (captioned "Date Night"–gag) sporting tween duck face and dining with Francine from the PBS cartoon Arthur. On the heels of the tabloids covers touting a not-so-secret romance between the icky reality star and former BachelorBen Flannel, er, I mean Flajnik.
And what does poor estranged husband Bruce Jenner think of all this messiness? For his sake, I hope he realizes that life is far better out of Kris' klutches. I wonder if he ever gets the itch to spill what he knows about loyal and doting wife. We all know if the tables were turned, she'd do it in a heartbeat!
I can only say "bless his heart" so many times before I stop meaning it. I think I probably stopped meaning it about twenty "blesses" ago when it comes to Kanye West. The man's ego is out of control. I'd really like to sit down with him for just fifteen minutes to see if he really is as painfully egotistical as he seems. He could style me. I'd wear a crystal mask and report back the truth. It's an open invitation, 'Ye. You can even bring Marilyn MonroeKim Kardashian. No, no, don't bring her. Regardless, call me!
The tiny rapper has been especially douchetastic this week, throwing a temper tantrum on stage at a Florida concert and commissioning what I'm sure he considers to be the next, no make that the first and best, Mona Lisa. I'm sorry DaVinci, but Andy Warhol's niece? She's got the best painting of all time. Of all time! Bless his heart.