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KUWTK

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Poor Kris Jenner wants everyone to know she's not the evil pimp momager we think she is! 

Speaking to Joan Rivers on In Bed With Joan, Kris admits to being devastated when the news of Kim Kardashian's sex tape with then-boyfriend Ray J leaked.

"I literally fell apart," the Keeping Up With The Kardashians mom admits. “I cried myself to sleep. I don't think anything can prepare you for something like that when it comes to your daughter."

Kris said that she withdrew for a few days before deciding to be strong for Kim and her whole family. And thus the Kardashian kingdom was born. Thank goodness for serendipity I suppose… "I'm somewhat a religious person – and I keep that to myself," Kris says. Lest you forget she owns a church… "So I live a certain way and I feel a certain way and I pray for my kids everyday. I'm so in love with my family life; and that hits me, you know, up the side of the head and I literally fell apart." 

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The reality TV viewer numbers for Sunday and Monday are in – and the Real Housewives of Atlanta are back with a bang! The season six premiere pulled in 3.108 million viewers. No doubt RHOA will remain Bravo's number one show.

Also on Sunday, Love & Hip Hop held onto its premiere audience with 2.947 million viewers.  Not so lucky were the Kardashians with only 1.948 million fans tuning in to Keeping Up with the Kardashians this week. So sad.

The Real Housewives of Miami aired both nights this week. Sunday night's show garnered 1.374 million (a season high) viewers. They can thank the ladies of Atlanta for that boost! The season three finale featuring Joanna and Romain's wedding was watched by 957,000 loyal fans.

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Kim Kardashian 33rd Birthday

So this is gonna happen… again.

As if the world hasn't seen enough of Kim Kardashian's naughty bits we're about to get the opportunity to view her better than ever vagina in Playboy. Again. 

The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star is on a quest to prove to the world that her body is just as banging as it was before baby. Starting with a swimsuit selfie, Kim is bringing sexy back! 

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It's time to breakdown who's watching what on Sunday and Monday nights.

On Sunday, roughly 2.3 million fans watched the frantic events that led up to North West's early delivery on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Also, the finale of I Dream of NeNe aired, and the wedding special ended on a strong note with 2.280 million viewers. 

On Monday, season four of Love & Hip Hop premiered to an impressive 2.997 million viewers, which is its fourth highest number ever. Less impressive – and kind of embarrassing – only 764,000 fans witnessed Joanna Krupa's meltdown on Real Housewives of Miami.

Holding steady is Teen Mom 3 with roughly 1.2 million viewers this week. 

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So it seems that Kanye West has found his voice because the man cannot stop talking about getting married to Kim Kardashian. I mean, dude, I'm going to let you finish but I had one of the…nothing.  I've got nothing. I think we are all going to have to let Kanye finish…and that means it could be a long time before he stops doing interviews about his engagement to the reality star. You know what, though? I'm fine with it. He seems to have quieted Kim for the time being, and I have a feeling that Kim is soon going to only know how to smile and nod like Kate Katie Holmes when she was with Tom Cruise.

E! is dishing more on an interview Kanye gave on Monday morning–you know, the one where he discussed finding the perfect ring(s) for the elaborate engagement. He also addressed the dudes who plan on popping the question to their ladies after his Jumbotrontastic love fest, saying, "I gotta apologize to the race of males for turning [it] up so much." He's far too kind. And humble. Surprisingly, the actual ceremony will be relatively low-key, with Kanye only teasing, "Two words: fighter jets."

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Kim Kardashian 33rd Birthday

It's been a big week for Kim Kardashian, y'all!  Not only did she celebrate her thirty-third birthday, but she got engaged for the third time to tiny rapper Kanye West who finally made peace with Jimmy Kimmel (seriously, I am still laughing about that!). If that wasn't enough, new daughter North West debuted this week on Keeping up with the Kardashians. As you could expect, Kim kept it klassy for all of these events.

Let's begin with the show, shall we? Confession time…I. sometimes every once in a while rarely watch KUWTK. I'm not even that ashamed of it. In fact, I tend to find the majority of the family (read: Bruce Jenner, Kendall Jenner, Khloe Kardashianwho grates on my nerves like the remaining family members when I read stuff like this–and the Jenner boys) likeable on the show. The entire shiny E! klan is separate and different from the fame lovers I love to loathe in the 'loids. That said, Kim was just plain gross on this week's episode, and I don't give two flying flips about her third (and no, I don't think this one's the charm) wedding. 

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I think we can pretty much credit MTV with the birth of reality television thanks to the explosion of The Real World, but it didn't stop there. Think about all of the families we watch on a weekly basis, from the Robertsons to the Kardashians to everyone in between. Where did the madness begin? Some may say with a ride on the crazy train courtesy of The Osbournes.  Don't act like you didn't watch!

We saw Jack and Kelly Osbourne grow up on camera (although eldest daughter Amy didn't participate) with the always hilarious chirping busybody of a "mum" Sharon and bumbling, mumbling former death metal star Ozzy.  And, of course, don't forget their tiny pooches! Now Kelly is a fashion consultant for E! and Jack is family man–how precious is his wife? (pictured with him and his parents above)–currently competing on Dancing with the Stars…but do they ever think about going back to the days of reality television's first family?

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kylie-jenner-khloe-kardashian

It sounds like the Jenner girls are headed for Lohan-territory! Last week Kylie Jenner, 16, and Kendall Jenner, 18, were spotted at a 21-and-older club with Khloe Kardashian and Scott Disick. The authorities are investigating how the underaged girls, who appeared worse for the wear upon exit, were able to get in given that they weren't of age!

Now comes a report that the youngest Keeping Up With The Kardashians star threw a tantrum because a luxe Beverly Hills hotel denied her al-a-a-alcohol

Last weekend Kylie and a group of friends, including Jaden Smith, sauntered into a BH hotel around 8:30 pm. At first Kylie was jovial and polite to staff, having a good time and easy to deal with. But all that changed when she was told no!

"She was a complete nightmare," a source reveals of Kylie. "She started out really nice. But when she didn't get what she wanted, it was like someone flipped a switch." 

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